Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, in between the tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Our daughter

I seem to harp on about our son…but this merely because he’s living at home and in my face all the time.

So I’ve decided to spend some time talking about our daughter. Is she an Indigo? I have no clue, but I think she might be.

Our daughter is an enigma - a mysterious entity that I don’t seem to get much info on and I’m not sure why. 

I figure she is an unknown simply because the time isn’t right for any of us…including her…to know.

I see it this way…I never knew about Athena…had no inkling or even the remotest of interest in her…until last year. If I had…my life would have been very different and would I have achieved as much as I have if I did know?

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Changing reality

Woohoo…heyho…good morning :-)

Our holiday is drawing ever nearer. We’ve been finalising holiday home and car hire and this has brought it so much closer and now I am starting to get excited.

I took my kitty to the vet yesterday  because she tends to get a bit grief stricken whenever we go away on holiday so we have to make sure that she is remedied…and now every time we go away I have a visit to the vet for a homeopathic remedy.

Monday, 27 February 2012


I have a smile on my face and in my heart and my soul - a dance of happiness that emanates from within.

I was so pleased to see my ‘hairy’ mountain man. He’d grown a beard to cover his face and his hair is longer than normal – all so that he didn’t freeze in the minus conditions.

The Dreaming

I’ve spent an hour in the beautiful sunshine, feeling myself as the whole world. It has been fabulous weather here over the last four days…such a pleasure to feel the sunshine.

I think the head of the new ‘me’ has engaged, almost ready for its journey into the world. My cervix is tingling and I feel like I need to go to the toilet quite a bit as though the head is pressing on my bladder.

I closed my eyes for a while and slipped into meditation with the lovely sun warming me.

Saturday, 25 February 2012

I am the creator

I sat down to meditate this morning. Lately I find it very pleasant and easy to sit in the lotus position. It’s not something I’ve ever done before as I couldn’t maintain the position for very long and I’d always preferred to either lie down or sit up straight with my legs stretched before me. 

Over the last few days since hubby’s gone, I’ve been really tired, happy but tired and so I’ve been sleeping all the time. I’d wake for a few hours to do a few things and then need to sleep and each sleep has been very deep…until I’d wake drenched in sweat. Nice thing about having a double bed is you can move to the other side to get away from the wet sheets  :-)

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Wouldn't it be good

Hehe…as I started writing this Nik Kershaw’s song ‘Wouldn’t it be good’ came on.

I wonder how many of us wish we were someone else.

I always give myself something to think about. The inner me giving little nudges and sometimes a great big punch or kick.

Chapter 9 - Baby me

Tuesday 21.02.2012

Oh gawd…am I feeling sick? Very yuck…stomach churning nausea…and not a little tearful.

I am letting go…letting go everything I believed I was and would always be.

My future self has joined me today. I can see the beauty of who she is and the joy with which she lives. I cannot be there until I release that which I think defines me.

It breaks my heart, but I cannot remain where I am.

Crazy crazy energy

These energies coming through lately are so strong and packing a punch. Even the most balanced of us are feeling them and finding ourselves doing the strangest of things.

My daughter sent me an email…I think she’s explained it very well…

“wow mom u is a crazy lady! haha its very comforting to hear that though ‘cos the last week or two i have been all over the show! crying all the time about things that i thought I’d gotten over shouting at P over stupid things, literally coming so close to breaking up with him over the smallest of issue and because he doesn’t understand what the hell I’m on about, we both end up being stubborn and giving each other the silent treatment! It’s like two teenagers fighting! haha

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Chapter 8 - Doubts and indecision

Athena: You keep questioning what is happening to you and who you really are. You incarnated here on Earth as a keeper of my flame.

The reason? To walk every step of the way with humanity as they raise their vibration and remember who they are. It’s been necessary for you to experience lifetimes along the way, matching and understanding the experiences of others. Each one of you is honoured for your part played in this game.

Does this make you any less of an entity? No, but your doubts are understandable. If every single one of humanity knew who they were and had all their memories, do you think that any of what you’ve created would be possible?

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Jeez man

Jeez man...I lost it this morning…I lost my temper…big time…so big I shouted and threw a glass of water at hubby.

He stood there shocked, then swore at me before stalking off to the bathroom to wipe himself down.

Do I have any idea why I flipped from being the calm one to the screaming banshee in a split second?

Yeah…I know…and it has been building for the last year.

Hubby and our son are constantly at loggerheads. Two similar stubborn personalities always sniping at each other and I get myself involved and stuck in the middle as a mediator.

I’ve been wondering when I will step out of this role.

Monday, 20 February 2012

Chapter 7 - Creative energy

Creative energy…what is it and where does it come from?

Over the years I’ve learnt that the ‘sexual’ energy that we all talk about is the creative energy of the sacral chakra.

Everyone uses this energy differently…we all go through phases where we’ve experimented (probably as teenagers and early twenties) with different ways of sexually expressing ourselves. If we never had this opportunity, we might experiment in our latter years. 

Getting married, this energy changes…only because we make the unconscious decision to use our energy to creating a home that will make us happy and investing our energy in a job to bring in the money that will bring in abundance that will help us create that happy home.

Chapter 6 - Spontaneity and other stuff

Spontaneity…when to have it and when not to, is a question I seem to be having difficulty with at the moment.

It’s not so much the spontaneity of life…but the spontaneity of being a channel.

I’ve always set hard and fast rules about sitting down to do my blog writing or my ‘channels’ (if you could call them that). When I want time out, I take it and I know my entourage back off and give me space.

But these days it’s getting more difficult to set the boundaries. I’ll be sitting or standing or walking and something will come flooding in. I know if I don’t get it down almost immediately I’ll forget. If I cannot…I create an intention that I will remember…but as yet I don’t always and I will write it and have to keep going back and changing it as I remember more.

Sunday, 19 February 2012

A world of potentials

Every day the veil seems to be lifting from my eyes…with almost no effort…although I know that it is not without effort. Years of working on clearings are finally coming to fruition and so now it is becoming effortless.

Balancing act

Yesterday as I was walking down to the High Street I felt open and vulnerable from the hips down…almost as though I was naked. It was so strong that I kept looking down to confirm visually I was really wearing jeans. 

It was the most bizarre feeling. It was kinda like one of those dreams you have where you discover you’ve gone to work with no clothes on.

I tuned in to find out what was going on and discovered that I had a skirt of energy, almost like a Hawaiian grass skirt, each strand a ray of light. It did feel very odd but somehow extremely comforting as though I was so well grounded and protected.

Friday, 17 February 2012


My son seems to be having a hard time with authority. He’s had one run in with his boss already. There is nothing like the NHS to teach you about the authority hierarchy…or for that matter any business. He thought school was bad… 

I remember, at his age, being dismissive of authority…who is anyone to tell me what to do? Haha…yeah…well, wasn’t that a hard lesson learned?

7 Easy Steps to Whole Body Orgasm - David Cates

I enjoy David Cates' blogs...he doesn't beat around the bush...although some might find his forthrightness quite offensive.

He tells it from a male perspective.

Thursday, 16 February 2012

Darker aspects

So much has happened to me over the last year and a bit that I've forgotten a lot of it. I've been pondering much of what has happened lately...when this blog I wrote in June last year popped into my mind. I had to search for it, cos I couldn't remember when I'd written it. How could I have forgotten?

Darker aspects

*sigh* - the memory is not what it used to be :-)

Plants - my weak spot

Did I ever mention that I’m a person that picks up strays. Yeah…I know I’ve mentioned stray boys living in our home from time to time…actually that has calmed down and it has only been the three of us for a few months now.

No, I don’t pick up animal strays…the strays I collect are plants :-) - crazy I know, but I cannot help myself.

The lady next door regularly rearranges her garden and she’ll put something in and a few months later pull it out to replace it with something else.

She always pops by to ask if I want the rejected plant. I never say no.

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Love in the world of opposites

A soul spoke to God and said: ‘I want to know what Light is.’

And God said: ‘But you ARE Light. Everything here is Light.’

‘Yes, but I want to really feel it, experience it.’

‘Then you must go down to Earth, the world of opposites,’ said God.

‘Okay, if that’s what it takes, I will go there.’

‘Ah,’ said God, ‘but someone must go with you, to play the role of your darkness.’

All souls kept silent, but finally one soul stepped forward: ‘We have been to Earth together before, I will come with you. There’s one thing though: when I am in the darkness, I will have forgotten who I am, and where I came from. Promise that you’ll bring me back with you, here in the Light.’

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

A day of LOVE

Today is the day of LOVE and our 25 year anniversary.

Hubby is working from home…hehe...hmm…

I asked the question this morning when I woke – ‘What’s ahead today?’

LOVE was all I got, so we’ve decided to take quite a few hours out of our day to be in love.

Monday, 13 February 2012

Whatever I write about seems to come back to bite me on the bum

I attended a Child Protection course very early this morning…very depressing the amount of abuse out there…not only with children but vulnerable adults and animals…those that cannot protect themselves.

Anyways…the lecturer was talking about all the services being part of the puzzle and interconnecting to form an umbrella of protection for children.

It made me sit up…once again I’m being shown the puzzles and how they fit.

Determined to be right

I watch and read with concern those who constantly bash each other about their beliefs. At times it is merely semantics…one will experience a series of words in one way, which will mean something different to another.

Sunday, 12 February 2012

Chapter 5 - What happens during integration

As I integrate the darker aspect of myself I asked Athena what is happening.

Athena: I have given you a brief image, but this time I shall give more detail. Imagine if you will, yourself as a perfect whole and complete entity, every faculty and ability at its peak. Much of what I am about to tell you is very abstract and there might be a little difficulty understanding…but as you grow, you will find that it makes more sense. And many of you will have experiences that will help you to understand.

Through an impulse to know itself the Divine Source split into two and these two came together in love to create more entities. Imagine that it is a form of ‘cloning’ as each entity created was a perfect replication of its Source.

Feeling rough

Erk…I’m feeling rather rough today.

Headache and sore throat…who said integration was fun? With everything that has happened this week, I’m surprised I’m not bedridden – years ago I would have been – which shows me how far I’ve come. What a rollercoaster of emotions!

A long walk in nature is on the cards…see you later.

A while later…

Saturday, 11 February 2012

Chapter 4 - integration

I woke last night. 

As I was lying waiting for some kind of indication as to why I was awake, I realised that something was connected to my solar plexus…a very thick cord running from me to something. I was about to cut the cord when I fell asleep.

This morning I woke feeling a bit out of sorts. It doesn’t matter what I’ve done, nothing has made a difference, so here I am sitting and waiting for an answer.

I see the strong cord running from me to another and all around is wild winds and crackling electricity as though we are in the middle of an electric storm.

Friday, 10 February 2012

A beautiful gift of love

A collage! A beautiful collage of my life from the day I was born until today. That’s what hubby has been so secretive about for my birthday.

Together with my mom, brother, nephew and his fiancĂ©, they put together a massive unframed beautifully printed collage made up of pictures shaped like puzzle pieces of me at various ages. Included in this were the badges from the schools and colleges I’ve attended, birth and marriage certificate.

Thursday, 9 February 2012

All quiet in the garden?

Take another look because it seems there might be an awful lot of chatter going on in the flower beds.

In news to gladden the heart of Prince Charles, who was once much mocked for having conversations with cabbages and the like, it appears science has caught up with what many gardeners have long held true – plants can communicate.

Disconnecting and reconnecting

Hehe…the electrician had a look around to find out what the problem with the light and heating is. It turns out that there is a wire that keeps losing its connection. It made me laugh…yeah…I’d say I’ve lost it and am not connecting with normal life.

Thanks of appreciation and gratitude

Thank you all so very much for your concern and offers of healing for my sister.
 I am very moved and deeply appreciative.
 Blessings and love to all

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

And now for something lighter - Eddie Izzard - Stoned Olympics

Oh...and another thing...

I woke this morning with an iffy throat…it’s not sore merely uncomfortable. 

I suppose it might have something to do with these so-called ‘disclosures’. My throat chakra is taking a bit of a bashing. It sorta reminds me of a stuck door that is being pushed open and in the pushing something breaks.

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Chapter 3 - You are your own sunrise

It seems I am to spend the day with Azra. As soon as I started writing this Wuthering Heights started playing. Kinda made me think that this relationship with this aspect of myself will be a bit like this.

When I woke this morning I asked my usual question – what’s happening today? Before I realised I have Athena and Azra inside and outside of me – a very strange sensation. I should be getting used to these strange occurrences but I still get surprised…but…I’m going with it.

I will be receiving information from both of them.

Last night as I was walking to work for a short twilight shift, I felt Azra connect with me.

Azra: You are the sunrise and the sunset as well as the setting and rising of the moon in your own life.

As I heard these words I could feel them resonate deep within my body. It started to heat up and I was boiling, despite the snowy conditions outside. It seems that at the same time the same electrical problem surfaced in the house again...it is still off…so I gather that Azra has been with me all this time.

Monday, 6 February 2012

Expect the unexpected

Expect the unexpected has been a motto of mine for years.

Simply because I could never in any of my wildest dreams come up with anything that tends to sideswipe me from time to time.

I will be skipping along gaily (or not) when all of a sudden a huge hammer will come from the side and knock me into another reality. I figure it’s because I’m such a stubborn so and so and when I’m happy and all my defences are down...that’s the easiest time to hit me.

Chapter 2 - The Sacred 13

13 has become a constant in my head today.

I feel like I’ve opened the door and am being flooded with information so fast that I am unable to keep up and process it.

Forgive me if much of this is not thought through but I feel like I need to get it down on ‘paper’ before it disappears in the deluge of information I am receiving.

The flower of life and 13 appeared in my mind and I was dragged back to a blog by Azaela on LW about the number 13 occurring in her life recently. It also reminded me of the night that I saw 13:13 and couldn’t figure out why I’d see it at night on the 24 hour clock.

A video on the blog by Azaela caught my eye. I’d watched it when I’d first read the blog but it did not mean anything to me…until now.

Chapter 1 - The complexity and simplicity of who we are

The ‘doppelganger’ thing has been running around in my mind for days…since Monday last week when Athena channelled the Preface.

I’ve been like a bulldog with a bone…constantly chewing at it and wondering how the hell it fit in with all the current knowledge on the planet. It seemed to be a red-herring and here I am going off at a tangent in the wrong direction.

Athena kept on gently letting me know that whatever she has channelled has come to fruition and each time I was doubtful of the reality of what she spoke of.

Hmm…old habits die hard…but mainly it is the idea that I might not have the ability to translate whatever she in her 9D version gives me. My consciousness in this body is never anywhere near as high in frequency as she is.

Sunday, 5 February 2012

The hatcha patcha dance ;-)

Pic taken by hubby today on his walkabout

I have come to the conclusion that in my relationship with hubby…he’s the DO-er and I’m the BE-er. I’ve noticed this before but somehow this morning the observation seemed to be so much more than an observation.

Maybe it has something to do with the relationships I have with most people. I get on well with BE-ers but DO-ers I enjoy the most. Probably because they are the opposite of me.

I am the thinker…I think things through and sometimes get myself tied up in knots about it. Whereas hubby is what I’d call a knee-jerker…he reacts and then regrets it…well sometimes he does...mostly he thinks he is justified...and then creates some scenario which backs up his justification :-)

I figure that we need to find the balance between us as a couple. Isn’t this what our current lifetime is all about…creating balance in our lives…whether it is relationship or work (which again is a relationship, isn’t it?)

Saturday, 4 February 2012

Love is like oxygen

Love is like oxygen’. Each breath you take is an intake of love. 

Love is the chi of life. Without it your body will start to break down. Flowing in with the love is wisdom. How many of you find that working physically helps to take you out of your mind and into your body.

Friday, 3 February 2012


Hubby and son are moving between making up and then busting up…I’ve been working or sleeping, so I’ve not been involved too much. 

The two of them have got really bad colds...our son in bed groaning and hubby…well, hubby soldiers on…never one to give in to any illness.

I heard them both vomiting this morning. This energy is certainly making them clear out that which no longer serves.

Our son has been feeling the effects of working at the hospital too. All the negative energy there has impacted on him and being a silent sentinel he has swallowed huge amounts of it. He needs to experience this downer to find his way of dealing with it. I can only give him so much help, but it is really up to him. I cannot live it for him…and besides I am his mom…what do I know ;-)

Thursday, 2 February 2012

An automatic download

My word…this white light is something else.

It is digging deep within people…nudging those well hidden patterns to the surface. But you know…the flip side is that it is clearing stuff far quicker than before.

I dunno about you…but I am seeing it as an answer to an unconscious request by those who are wishing to find something ‘different’, even though they may not know what that ‘different’ is. I know many are not aware of this desire, and if they are, they’ve not expected any results. Hmm…again I repeat…this white light is something else.

It seems to be a time for the soul to take the driving seat and the energy is far greater in strength than I’ve previously noted in years gone by.

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Extremely ruffled feathers

Do you know the familiar eye rolling that goes with the patronising statement that women are very emotional creatures…’she’s got PMS again’, etc.

Hmm…I think that this is a slightly skewed perspective. If I have a look at the two men in my life…I think they are more emotional than I am.

Hubby and our son have kicked off again, it ended this morning with both of them storming out of the house as I arrived home from a night shift. Oookay.

It’s been brewing for a few days and came to a head this morning when I wasn’t around to calm them down. Suppose it had to happen without me…they’ve got to own up to their actions.