Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, in between the tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Friday, 31 August 2012

Blunt and to the point

Snigger…I came downstairs this morning to make myself a plunger of coffee.

While waiting for the kettle to boil I wandered into the downstairs bathroom and discovered this beautifully framed notice hanging on the wall over the toilet.

Thursday, 30 August 2012

I'm a happy bunny

I can so feel myself living in a house made by nature, which has been strong for quite a few months. I wrote a blog about this - My dream grotto.

And it seems that nature is feeling this pull too as they all move into my house.

We found a tiny tiny praying mantis in the kitchen, we have a colony of spider webs (some indoors) outdoors, a contingent of house sparrows living in our roof and constantly foraging in our massive rose creeper...and yesterday we discovered that a caterpillar of the Large Cabbage butterfly has made its way indoors and has spun its cocoon on the inside wall by the back door.

Sitting outside yesterday, a Red Admiral butterfly landed on me, flew away and then came back. It sat on my chest for a while merely opening and closing its wings to some unknown pulse that I couldn't hear.

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Revealing the Light in the Dark

Thanks Ewa for bringing this blog to my attention :-)

There is a universal need to transform our personal demons of fear, anger, ignorance, jealousy, confusion, unwothiness, shame... the aspects that Jung described as our shadow; those parts of ourselves that the conscious mind deems unacceptable. It is the parts we don't want others to know about, and yet they appear in our dreams or manifest in exaggerated form in those around us.

We can see clearly those aspects in others but are reluctant to own them in ourselves. However, we only have to look into the mirror of the other to begin to make conscious the darkness within.

If we look at what we most despise in others, we usually see one of our own demons reflected back. We often ridicule and criticise others who embody something we are trying to repress in ourselves. I smile to myself when I recall a time when I heard myself say "I hate judgemental people!" Hmmmm...

When we repress the shadow we set up a battle within, tying up energy and resources that could be put to far better use, we block our experience of freedom.  However, when we name and recognise our inner demons, the magic of the light in the darkness can be released. Our demons can become our daemons, good and benevolent spirits.

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Byron Bay and Wallis Caves

More places we visited on our 2012 Australian holiday.

Byron Bay is a very pretty town, very commercialised, but nonetheless great fun.

We went to the market whilst there. Don't ask me what happened to the photos - all we seem to have are beach pictures.

We came across a biltong stall run by a South African. Whilst chatting it turns out that he originally lived in Muizenberg, Cape Town and went to school with my cousins. Greg and I built a wooden house opposite the high school and he recalls watching it being built! How's that for six degrees of separation?

Interesting day with regard to family

A very interesting day yesterday with regard to family - our daughter and my mother.

Both loving kind generous strong and caring women…but…

My mother and father had a difficult marriage of 30 years. Mom had always said from the day she got married (which she had to because she was pregnant with me), she regretted it. Their marriage sorta deteriorated from day one.

My dad was old fashioned and believed that my mother’s place was in the home, and she has no business being out and about because she has to be there at his beck and call in other words…very controlling. My mother finally rebelled and there were a lot of violent arguments.

Monday, 27 August 2012

Sacral chakra

The beautiful Maju carving made of stone and wood is tremendously powerful.

To read the explanation and blessing go to Maju page.

Every time I meditate with it, I can feel my sacral chakra react. I start off holding it up to my heart but as I slip into a deep meditative mode my hands seem to slip down and when I come out of it, I find my hands and the Maju resting over my sacral.

I’ve tried putting it against different chakras…but the sacral is the one it interacts the most with.

I can see when the sacral is activated by it…the energy moves up into the heart and a column of orange/pink/green is created.

Sunday, 26 August 2012

Maju Stone and Blessing

This Maju has been called into being, to serve as a reminder and as well as an expression of the potential that resides in both of you. This potential is as well growing and expanding in relation to your re-affirmation of your commitment to continue to walk together in this life.

The Maju firstly expresses the energies and spirit of the stone beings and the wooded ones. Stone and wood are the elements used throughout the world to build homes with. Your re-affirmation is in relationship to the home you have both built together. Not so much the physical home but rather an energetic home that you both dwell in together.

Saturday, 25 August 2012

Hmm...did I promise something?

Ewa and I today
I know I promised an update and pictures of the Maju...but the last 24 hours have taken an unexpected turn.

Last night I got a frantic phone call at 9pm from work. One of the locums that helps us out during school holidays had double booked himself and was on duty as a paramedic, so we were a technician short. As everyone else is either on holiday or had worked during that day or was working the following day...I was the only one available...so I worked last night.

I'd arranged to meet up with Ewa today (whom I originally met on the Lightworker website and our friendship has grown from then), so I was determined to keep the appointment as I'd so been looking forward to a bite to eat and a natter. Once again we had a great time...hehe...cooking up all kindsa witchy cauldron stuff (wink)...ya know...bubble bubble toil and trouble...and setting the world to rights...

Friday, 24 August 2012

Our maju has arrived!

Our maju stone of re-affirmation arrived in the post today. It is absolutely gorgeous as is the beautiful transcript that came with it...oh my...the energy....

Hubby is going to take some photos and I will post them tomorrow.

Darrell has posted the pictures on Facebook so that we can see the different stages it went through in the carving.

P.S. I have uploaded the blessing and pictures on this page.

Thursday, 23 August 2012

Working with nature

As I was sitting in the garden, contemplating a few things, a single strand of a spider’s web floated through the air and landed on my laptop. I’d heard that spiders can throw their webs and this is how they seem to make webs in the most amazing spots...but I’ve never seen it before. Amazing feats of engineering!

I studied the strand to see if there was a spider attached to it…but there didn’t seem to be. I looked down at my cat who was sitting next to me and when I looked up the web had gone. I felt around for it thinking maybe I’d missed it somehow…but no it was gone.

Wednesday, 22 August 2012

Emotions of guilt

Aargh…the brain and negative emotions have intervened.

There are these little thoughts and feelings of guilt at putting hubby and I through this. I could feel my body tense up this morning during our daily meditation. I could not sink into the bliss of BEing together. We are both walking a fine line between meditative love making and reverting to the ‘old’ way.

Monadic entities?

I have entered the fourth day of bliss. I had a bit of a hiccup yesterday as I’d worked the night before and as usual was too tired to sleep. But hubby came to bed very early with me last night and held me while I fell asleep and it was so soothing that I slept like a baby all night.

This morning we connected once again and the state of bliss has escalated. Because we go into a meditation of love making, we have taken away the tension associated with brain ‘sex’ and are finding that we can relate to each other far better. Each time we connect I am clearing any tensions held within me by using EFT and as a result I am having so many insights.

One of them is that I’m beginning to understand we are monadic entities.

Sunday, 19 August 2012

Manifesting my heart's desire

This afternoon:
It has come to my attention, since I uploaded this blog this morning, that the proverb many of us thought was Cherokee, is not.

Out of respect I have removed the picture that had the quote on it but I still feel that the quote is very relevant to what hubby and I are experiencing. I have no idea who created it.

My gratitude and thanks for bringing this to my attention.

A Woman’s highest calling is to lead a man to his soul, so as to unite him with Source; her lowest calling is to seduce, separating man from soul and leave him aimlessly wandering. A man’s highest calling is to protect woman, so she is free to walk the earth unharmed. Man’s lowest calling is to ambush and force his way into the life of a woman - Anonymous.

Saturday, 18 August 2012

Choir of the Crickets

I found this amazing YouTube video on FB

Choir of the Crickets

Who knew that the Crickets sing like humans?
Watch! That will open your heart ...
It seems that this sound comes from a CD released in 1992 by Jim Wilson & David Carson "God's Chorus".

Evans Head, Australia


Evans Head - "is a town in the Northern Rivers region of New South Wales, Australia in Richmond Valley Shire. It is 726 kilometres north of Sydney, and 11 kilometres east off the Pacific Highway. It is named after a marine surveyor, Lt Evans, RN who carried out the first marine survey of the coastline in the area."

Heading out to Evans Head, Anchoring Energy, First Ceremony, Second Ceremony, The Beauty of Mother Earth - posts on my blog.

Friday, 17 August 2012

Love is...

Hubby called me yesterday at work, really excited. He’d managed to buy some tickets for the Paralympics. 

He’d been going on to the website on and off over the last few weeks but had been unsuccessful. We'd decided that if we didn’t get them…then it wasn’t meant to be.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. At best I am not great in huge crowds of people and lately tend to avoid crowds in stadiums if possible, nor am I much of an athletics enthusiast.

The tickets he bought are for the athletics in the main stadium…which I realised, once he told me, is of some significance…getting to the heart of the matter.

But you know what…I never realised how much this means to him. He was so happy and excited last night. Being a sportsman himself, he has great admiration for these disabled athletes who, in spite of the difficulties they face, are determined to be the best they can. His happiness makes me happy :-)

Thursday, 16 August 2012

Finally!! some good news

Finally!! Results of the MRI scan…everyone was waiting for the head honcho to give his opinion. 

It seems our daughter’s partner has to wear a neck brace for approximately six months…no op needed. 

They are going to discharge him tomorrow and he will have regular check-ups and physio...no work and definitely no sport!!

I think we have all heaved a huge sigh of relief…and the two sweeties are so pleased to be leaving the hospital and going home.

Wednesday, 15 August 2012


It seems that August is the month that I get really wacked around left right and centre, as all my emotional baggage is shaken loose.

I have offended a good friend and for the life of me I cannot figure out how, where and when, as I thought things were going well.

Of course it now starts me obsessing and going through conversations, emails and blogs to try work out when it started and what I wrote, did or said. 

I know I should let it go…and I will eventually make my peace with it…but until then I remain sleepless...and obsessed.

And to top it all our daughter phoned me at work in the early hours of this morning in tears. I am grieving deeply but I don't know what I am grieving about.

The controlling so-and-so

Hubby told me last night, very gently, that I was telling him what to do. If it wasn’t my way, then it was wrong.

I could feel myself going into defensive mode, ‘Me? Since when? I stopped doing that years ago.’

Shock set in, then disbelief, and finally wallowing pity.

Don’t take it personally,’ he said, ‘but you did ask the question and so I am telling you the truth.’

Finally he added, ‘It doesn’t bother me, I simply let it go.’

Tuesday, 14 August 2012


There is nothing like a good bit of exercise to release anything held within the body…including emotions. Gets us out of our way so insights can come through.

After twisting myself into a pretzel yesterday (literally) and lifting a few weights with the help of my ever encouraging personal trainer, I found myself completely stripped of stress and drenched in sweat – more so than usual - and then in a state of tears again last night. One layer cleared away and another exposed!

I keep seeing 44 wherever I look. One website on numerology said this mean ‘NO! your guides are not happy with your decision’…huh? So I had a look at Doreen Virtue and she says ‘The angels are surrounding you now, reassuring you of their love and help. Don't worry because the angels' help is nearby’ which made me heave a sigh of relief. Thought I’d gone off on a wild goose chase!

Celia Fenn: the Lion's Gate and beyond...towards the Multidimensional earth

New Earth Energies August 2012
Archangel Michael through Celia Fenn


Image by Nyako Nakar at www.nyakonakar.com and based on a Crop Circle of 3rd of August 2012.

Monday, 13 August 2012

Fairies, dragons, Olympics and stress

I’m not gonna lie…I’m not very centred or feeling great. I shouldn’t worry but I do.

I contacted my daughter again today to find out things are going. The ambulance yesterday was supposed to be there at 2pm to collect them but only arrived at 9pm and then they had a four hour journey to Sydney.

Her partner is only scheduled for an MRI scan tomorrow…so no idea what is going to happen. Darling poppet, is bearing up under the strain of getting paperwork sorted - contacting employers, making sure that the Rugby Club’s insurance claim is sorted, etc. His mom is there as well, so she has some support and the two of them are staying at the hospital at premises specifically for family.

Our rings and other incidents

Our brave daughter

Our rings are ready!! We got the phone call late yesterday afternoon. We are going to collect them tomorrow morning. Can’t wait to see what they have done with them. I wrote a blog about the symbolism - So tired.

This weekend has been both hard and exhilarating.

Yesterday my daughter and I skyped for 3 hours. Her partner had injured his neck playing rugby so she was alternating between talking to me and tending him, as he was in agony from the pain.

She eventually persuaded him to go to the A&E and after hours of waiting to see a doctor, discovered he has broken his neck! They are currently on their way by ambulance to a Sydney hospital.

I was rather tearful when I got off the computer and had a nice long bath and cried forever. I do miss her so much and wish I could be there with her now.

Saturday, 11 August 2012

Can giving up sex improve your love life?

This is a hilarious account written by someone who decided to give Karezza a try.


NOTE: Obviously, Shona didn't realize that "bonding behaviors" are not karezza. Hopefully she'll figure out that karezza calls for intercourse!


Animal symbolism of the Wasp

I came upstairs to my bedroom and was pottering around, and became aware of a buzzing in the background. Eventually I looked up...and found a wasp kissing the ceiling as it moved around.

A wasp! What the heck was it doing in the room?

Animal symbolism of the wasp deals with:
  • order
  • construction
  • communication
  • involvement
  • development
  • progress
  • team-work
  • productivity

Greater awareness

My writing spot

Lately the elementals are really entering my life more so than before.

They seem to be part of me in a way I have not experienced for a long time. The depth of connection between us is incredible, especially when I am in my garden. Because of this, I find that my awareness of Mother Earth and nature far stronger.

Everything is talking to me – the wind, clouds, plants, buildings, etc., but it doesn’t overwhelm me as it used to and I’d have to tune out and shut down, only allowing little bits to come through. It’s kinda like having antennae of energy absorbing everything, totally aware and yet taking it all in my stride.

Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Love and appreciation

Jeez man, I’m getting too ‘old’ to pull all-nighters.

Hmm…okay let me rephrase that-

I’m tired of working nights. I used to really love it, but lately it has lost its appeal. Don’t get me wrong…I still enjoy interacting with my patients and getting to know them. It’s the 11 hour night shift that gets me. I have cut down to one night a week and one looooong day time shift.

Anyways, this morning I was walking home in a foggy dwaal when hubby drove past hooting and waving. Scared the bejeebers out of me, but sure woke me up :-)

The darling honey bun had left a toasted egg in the oven, wrapped in tinfoil for my brekkies (or dinner depending how you look at it), cos he knows how ravenous I am when I get home. When I finally dragged my weary body upstairs, I found two roses on my pillow.

Monday, 6 August 2012

Fear of straying

Yesterday a few thoughts kept making their way around my head. Some of them had popped up to make themselves known during the massage session.

What happens if he gets bored and strays?
Do I need to drop my rods every time to show how much I appreciate him?
Will the spice be good enough to keep him interested?

Wow, where the hell did they come from.

As you might have guessed our relationship has been to hell and back over the 25 years we have been together. We have been through various stages of the first flush of love to settling into comfort, then boring, then to dislike of each other – so much so we couldn’t stand to be in each others company, to breathing fresh life into our relationship.

Heart song

Yesterday I spent the afternoon lying in a clearing surrounded by trees, whilst hubby wandered around taking pictures. I loved every moment - connecting with Mother Earth and becoming part of her after the amazing travel along the dragon lines. I immersed myself in it once again.

This morning it was my turn for a full body massage from hubby. He’d had one yesterday.

There is nothing better than spending time lovingly running your hands over your beloved getting to know them both physically and energetically. The deeper you go the more you connect with the heart until both of you become as much pure love as you are able to. Every part, whether perfect or imperfect is beautiful and makes your beloved so special.  We have reached a stage where we can feel each other’s emotions and read thoughts.

Sunday, 5 August 2012

Next to me

This is dedicated to both entities that was/is my hubby
I love you, babe

Saturday, 4 August 2012

Riding the dragon/ley lines

I had another code downloading session with Angaela and Martin yesterday.

Whilst in meditation I found myself with my dragon, Ba’shiba. We were going on a journey to understand ‘dragon riding’ the ley lines or dragon lines. We also spent some time repairing the broken disused lines, which I didn’t know needed repairing. These lines and meridians connect all the sacred sites and chakras of Mother Earth.

I knew that the meditation that I’d do at 4pm via Skype would have something to do with the dragons but little did I know what. I was going to fly by the seat of my pants like I used to. Whatever was relevant for a specific group, depending on the energy, would come through. But this time was different, as I had a foretaste of what to expect.

Friday, 3 August 2012

My dream grotto

My bathroom

It’s no secret that I love plants. I love crystals and animals too…but plants are my ‘thing’.

I have a house full of oxygen giving plants. Obviously not in the bedrooms, as at night they give off carbon dioxide then, which is a waste product I don’t particularly want. 

My favouritest room is the bathroom. This is where I do a lot of meditations in the bath and where hubby and I are often in flagrante delicto :-)

So I made sure that it is full to the brim with crystals, candles and plants. It has beautiful midnight blue tiles on the walls.

Thursday, 2 August 2012

Doorway open

Every night when I tune in at 7pm to connect with the millions of lightworkers sending love to the Olympics, I can see the angels, nature spirits, animal spirits, elementals, dragons and their unseen teams. But could not see the unicorns. I did wonder about it and as I wasn’t too concerned kinda idly asked the question. I got my answer on Monday 

They were standing to one side, as though guarding something. The feeling I got was that it was a doorway or portal of some kind.

Then last night when I tuned in I found that the unicorn were no longer guarding the ‘door’. They were standing to either side of a large opening.

Now I need to go back to the beginning…

Hubby and I have been…what I would call on the ‘opposite sides’ since the start of the Olympics. We’re not fighting…we are simply approaching it from different angles.

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

A little sad

I’m feeling a little sad today.

I skyped with my mom yesterday. I always feel sad afterward for a few days.

To see my mother reduced to a carer and my stepdad losing his faculties of both mind and body is difficult – even though I know they have their life paths to walk and I don’t know what they are here to learn and understand.

She and my stepdad are a very generous couple, who were very active hikers, have travelled extensively and shared their good fortune without reservation with their respective families.

Brainwaves, sleep, etc.

This is a blog that has been sitting on my laptop for ages now. I keep going back to it and adding little bits and then closing it down – only to come back to it later. All of the blog in italics is from various neurological sites that I put together to give an overview of the different brainwaves. 

I used to discuss this (although it was a much simpler version) at my meditation workshops for Breast Cancer Care. We’d discuss how stress creates problems in the body.

What triggered me into remembering it again last week was the statement by a patient that she is not stressed, as she has no reason to be. Personally I also have no reason to be stressed but to a degree I am.