Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, in between the tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Energy activations

I did a short twilight shift last night. Whilst there I made a few reviewing calls to patients following up after their night of treatment.

One lady was in a bad way. Sleep deprivation causes all kinds of problems…one of them appearing to be depression…but it’s not.

Can you imagine being so tired you don’t have the energy to even pick up the phone receiver to dial a number? That’s how bad some of them are and she was one of them.

I spent half an hour chatting to her and explaining what was going on. She was crying most of the time through the conversation because each time I explained something she’d exclaim in gratitude for an answer to something that had been bugging her for ages and no-one seemed to have the answer to. She’s probably heard all of this before when she came in for her night of treatment, but sometimes the whole thing can be so overwhelming it doesn’t register until a while later when it is heard again.

My Mojo is back

Man alive…I’s gots me mojo back.

Ya remember those days when I used to blog constantly, so much so that I mighta outblogged myself.

Yeah man…I’m back and things are winging at a fast pace through my life. Feel like I’m teetering on some rather unstable rollerblades heading down a hill in San Francisco!


Did I say that we’d become concretely aware of how our light shines?

It was demonstrated to me today…I was wondering in what way it would manifest.

I went to the post office to post a package. On either side where we queue are books and cards. People browse as they wait. The guy in front of me hadn’t moved up as he was engrossed in reading a book he’d found on the shelf. I was standing reading cards on the other side, so we were sorta back to back. Admittedly we weren’t in the nice orderly straight queue favoured by the British, but we weren’t exactly out of the queue – we simply hadn’t moved up. There was no-one behind us anyway.

Monday, 30 January 2012

Pulling away from the kerb

It seems today is a day of completion – 3+0+1+2+0+1+2=9…and I am slowly pulling away from the kerb…like a learner driver, but moving nonetheless.

I had a thorough cleanse this morning and sat down to meditate. Felt I wasn’t to play any music – just me and the silence. That’s when I got the numerology of the date and the sensation of pulling away from the kerb.


I’ve had a persistent head ache for a while now. Well I’ve noticed it since we’ve moved up to the hospital. It’s a mild ache in the middle of my head.

It’s not unpleasant…maybe I’ve gotten used to it…sometimes it gets out of hand…mainly when I’ve not eaten enough.

Which brings me to another ascension symptom…eating…I am constantly hungry (and thirsty but that goes without saying). I’m eating all the time…tummy grumbling if I don’t feed it.


It has come to my attention lately that I’ve been so wrapped up in my own world that I’ve neglected those that I know…unless they are in my immediate radius. 

Time seems to fly by…and the next thing I note I’ve not contacted my daughter, mother, a friend, etc…all those living so far away.

I’m wondering if all this ascension work is making me selfish…it would do so to a degree because I am focused inward rather than outward. But as things rush along…and new downloads and uploads happen, I seem to have lost touch with ‘every day life’ as I used to know.

Sunday, 29 January 2012


I’ve been pondering my new life that is being created. Totally immersing myself in it and feeling it. 

A couple of weeks ago I woke and looked at the clock and it said 13:13. I must have gone back to sleep almost instantly and it was only the following day when I glanced at the clock and again it said 13:13. The memory of the night before popped up and I wondered how on earth I’d seen 13:13 in the middle of the night, as on the 24 hour clock 13:13 is daytime not nighttime.

Friday, 27 January 2012

My dream manifesting more every day

Years ago when my mentor first mentioned that everything is a reflection I never once believed him. I understood the concept mentally but emotionally I thought ‘pah, never’.

It took me years to finally realise that everything I dislike in my hubby is a reflection of what I dislike in myself. The penny dropped one day in 2002 when I was studying with the College of Vibrational Medicine. Our class was doing their year-end presentations and one of my classmates said something that has stuck with me ever since. She said that if ever someone irritates her, makes her angry, resentful or jealous she treats herself with the relevant flower essence remedy that she would otherwise have given to that other person.

Thursday, 26 January 2012

My son is mad at me

My son is mad at me…

After nagging him last week about getting up off his ass and doing something about getting his references sorted…which I did for him…he once again sat around bemoaning the fact that he’d heard nothing.

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

It took a while...

No, no, no…I thought as I was walking back from the hospital today after an afternoon course.

This is not what I want. I asked the question and instead of receiving an answer, I was shown…because I need hands on experience for it to get through to me, what it is I really want.

Set myself up beautifully to find out, didn’t I?

I seem to have spent more time at work than at home and it reminds me of the days I used to work all the God-given hours to make ends meet. Quality of life was not what it could have been and it took me a long while to recognise that and make changes. Taking me back to that state has certainly helped me make up my mind.

Thank you to all my selves for helping me to see where I really want to be.

Last night in the early hours of the morning, whilst my colleague was on her break, I felt an overwhelming sense of love as my heart opened. Hubby had suddenly popped into my mind and the instant he did, the love I felt for him burst through.

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

How beautifully we answer our own questions

How beautifully we answer our own questions. I know that each event in my life has been created by me, a living example of how I am managing my energy. Yes, there are others involved who seem to influence what happens, but in effect it is all my own reality.

This wonder about what I should do has been beating in the background of my mind, like a flutter of butterflies, reminding me in the quietest of moments.

The proverbial s***t hit the fan on Thursday. A colleague became really ill, not something she is prone to, so when she says she is ill you know it must be very bad. Wild horses couldn’t normally keep her away.

I did have a brief flash of ‘hmm’ but shoved it away. I agreed to be on standby for last night. I have this streak of the martyr in me, don’tcha know J. It is making itself known once again…purely in a bid to let me know which way I am heading if I make a certain choice.

Friday I went in to finish off a few things and landed up being there 5 hours instead of the intended 2.

Monday, 23 January 2012

Who am I to know better?

After reading Inelia’s blog this morning, I had a lightbulb moment.

I am fearful that I could never step into Athena’s shoes. It woulda been better if I’d never known who my Higher Self was, cause I would have bumbled along happily in total ignorance, as I had been up until then.

Sunday, 22 January 2012

Bill Ballard - Is this love from the head or the heart?

Bill Ballard | January 20 2012

via email

In the recent past I have seen many individuals coming together, thinking they have found their one other – their twin soul – only to get disappointed. This disappointment invariably happens when they believe happiness is related to this other and/or they experience love from the head and not the heart.

A smokescreen?

These last 7 years have been a joy to me – a job that I love and look forward to…although the night work had started to take its toll, the main reason I cut down on my shifts.

I suppose what is on my mind is this cross roads that I am standing at. I am still not sure, so I have decided to let each potential simmer in the background and see what happens.

My mother's beautiful blessing

I received the most incredibly moving letter attached to a birthday card in the post today from my mother. I cried as I read it. I have not seen her for two years as my stepdad is very ill and they don’t travel every year to visit us for 5 months like they used to.

My mother doesn’t always understand what I do but she has always been very supportive. When I chose my earthly parents for this incarnation, I believe I chose very well.

Here is what she wrote:

Thursday, 19 January 2012


A good twelve hour sleep later and I am seeing a slightly bigger picture.

All of us are faced with potentials every minute of the day and it is up to us which road we choose. I’ve never had it so strongly shoved in my face.

Comedians setting up my life

When I decided to incarnate into this life, I musta set up some really interesting and sidewalloping scenarios for myself. I can imagine me and my guides giggling as they put it together and mapped out my life for me. I can only think we must have had some rollicking days of laughter up there wondering what my reaction would be, cos here I am in my veiled ignorance going huh?

I’m kinda confused at the moment so bear with me…okay I know it’s not new…I always seem to be confused J

Out of our comfort zone

There were a few sparks last night which I’ve not witnessed before in the 7 years that I’ve been working at the sleep unit.

Watching the dynamics it struck me that everyone is dealing the best they can with not only the changes at the sleep unit, but with the huge influx of energies that are nudging many people into reacting in ways that they would not normally.

Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Service with a smile

Hmm…I’ve since discovered how we are going to achieve this little bit of harmony.

Nothing like catching me by surprise, is there?

I was sitting quietly after having had breakfast when I suddenly got a vision of what we were about to do. I asked if it would take long and the answer was ‘yes all day’.

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Divide and conquer

Image fronm

It is quite interesting how ‘divide and conquer’ has been a theme running very strongly through everything I’m reading and experiencing lately.

This has been a tactic used for millennia to keep us focused on small things so we don’t get to see the bigger picture. Creating sects or nations and pit them and their beliefs against one another.


Passion…passion…passion…I’m on the warpath…RAAAAWWWWRRRR…MAMA TIGER is angry.

My son received a confirmation of his employment from the hospital in mid December. They were awaiting his references and then would confirm the date he starts…supposedly 3 January was the guestimate. Every time my son phoned HR they've said…’still awaiting receipt of the references’.
Now I know...I know...everything happens when it is meant to happen. I'm just gonna give it a huge kick.

Having myself been through the mill of Human Resources up at the hospital, I know how slowly the wheels grind…but this is getting bloody ridiculous.

Blimmin' heck

Debutante Ball - me n partner
Blooming heck, it’s cold out there. The sun is shining, so I decided to stick my toe out to get some sun…but my toe shrivelled up with alarm and so back inside I came.

I should’ve guessed it would be icy. The frost covering everything has made it white as though it’s snowed.

When I went to work on Friday evening for a short twilight shift I had to scrape the windscreen – first time this winter.

Hehe…hubby played football late yesterday afternoon for the first time in four weeks (they had a break over Christmas). When he arrived back, we sat and watched the last Sherlock. Oh my, when he stood up, the man groaned in agony. His lower body had seized up. Said it reminds him of his school days when, after a three month break, they’d start training…the agony of it. But…he is determined to keep fit and carry on. Good for him, nothing like a bit of exercise to help the body during these hard times of transmutation.

Monday, 16 January 2012

Crazy nights

I find myself wondering where I am going these days. I am mostly patient because I know it will unfold as it needs to. But every so often I get a ‘bee in my bonnet’ of impatience and wanting to know. I’m in this stage today.

Hubby and I were discussing our future. He’s worried about the future. Probably picking up on the collective worry and started asking questions about whether we were secure and if he would have a job.

Sunday, 15 January 2012

My hair

I’ve been washing my hair with an organic shampoo from the local health shop for the last year or so. It contains mainly Manuka honey and no other gunge that you get in the commercial stuff.

I’d tried once before many years ago to stop using commercial stuff but my hair seemed to object and become straw-like and disgusting, so I reverted back to the commercial stuff again.

Howsabout a larf?

My journey with River and Sabrina

I have just finished listening to the radio show in which River and Sabrina take us on a journey.

Really lovely and very insightful – I thoroughly enjoyed listening to the interview and doing the journey.

Going into my heart I found myself in amongst very tall trees and the sense of homecoming was overwhelming - weepingly strong. I’ve always known that I would settle amongst trees surrounded by water and somewhere in amongst all that is a large rocky outcrop/small mountain (not sure which).

Saturday, 14 January 2012

Radio interview of Luminance River and Sabrina

Here is a link to the radio interview http://www.blogtalkradio.com/everydayconnection/2012/01/13/river-and-sabrina

Luminance River has a website (there is a link to it which you will see on the right hand side of my blog) called Akashic Intuitive Readings.

Shifting North and South Poles

I saw this on LW this morning. Apparently the North Pole has shifted into Siberia which explains the milder weather experienced lately.

Phew...I am pleased to hear this...imagined myself freezing to death in Canada when we eventually get there. My Southern Hemisphere body has objected to the cold weather here in the UK...imagine the Arctic conditions in Canada...aaarrrggghhh. Shudder


Over the last four days my eyesight has been a bit odd. When I focus I find that it is a bit blurred. I used to get this as a warning sign that a migraine was on its way and within half an hour I was in agony and vomiting. The warning sign used to be accompanied by a really odd feeling in my body.

There is none of this with this blurred vision. So I experimented to see what was causing it and why.

An insight

Okay I admit…something has really kicked into place since my meditation with Lakshmi/Shakti.

Yesterday as I was walking to work I realised something. Hubby and my friend had been discussing world ‘things’ on Wednesday evening. I found myself really surprised at the extent of my detachment or ‘divorce’ from what was going on in the world. It got me to wondering if I’d become ostrich-like in mentality. I found myself getting slightly irritated with this pessimism.

Wednesday, 11 January 2012


I was wondering about this call for us to step into our roles. I decided to go onto YouTube to see if there was a message for me and the first vid I saw was this one.

This song reminds me of the world at the moment. It's a classic South African song from the apartheid era but I think is pretty relevant for today's world.

It really brought it home to me that the world is in need, whilst I am standing around whinging about being taken out of my comfort zone.

A gentle nudge?

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Is community living possible for me?

A friend who lives in Menton is arriving tonight to stay a few days with us. She is leaving on Friday for a three month cruise around South America.
It’s an amazing story of manifestation…she said that mid year last year she sent up a plea for a nice long holiday as she’d not had one for nigh on three years and was in desperate need of a break.

Whilst speaking to our mutual homeopath who is a very good friend of hers, this lady asked her ‘out of the blue’ if she’d like to accompany her on a three month cruise. It turns out that she’d invested some money and had made a nice lump sum so was taking some time out and treating herself to this holiday. 

The Divine Marriage

I found this on LW this morning and watched it for the first time. I found it quite interesting...but must stress that twin-flame unions are not necessarily only the union of two entities...it is and can be the union of your inner male/female aspects as well. This sacred union of your inner aspects is far more important than any outer marriage could ever be.


Today I had an overwhelming urge to tone. I used to do this with regularity when in South Africa and then the need simply fell away.

I used to stand in the shower and sing a note in whatever octave I felt was necessary. Together with the water it used to soothe away any stress I’d feel. I figure it was a form of emotional release for me. Cape Town’s water in those days was very pure and soft – there was no recycling – and as a result my skin would feel fabulous.

Monday, 9 January 2012


You know reading Mati’s blogs lately about the Catholic ‘cult’ I’m wondering if this has not indoctrinated my hubby.

For years after we first got together he denied that there was such a thing as evolution and that everything in the bible was ‘gospel’ truth.

Feeling Good

I spent yesterday clearing out my flower and gem remedies – pouring them down the sink and blessing them as I did for the help that they’d given me. Most of them were stored under our bed. As I wasn't practicing anymore I'd decided that together with my plants and crystals, the essences’ beautiful energy could be utilised to surround hubby and I on our journey. It has definitely worked, but sadly as I poured them out I could feel that they’d reached their ‘sell by’ date.

As I was saying goodbye I felt lighter and lighter. I shed a tear or two saying goodbye to old friends.

Woohoo…this morning I woke feeling great and not a little revved...vroom vroom J

Hence the Feeling Good song.

Nina Simone - Feeling Good

Heard this song this morning on a Virgin Atlantic ad and thought how appropriate it was. Couldn't figure out whether Muse, Nina Simone or Michael Buble sing it better. So went 'eenie meenie minie mo' and this one got picked.

:) Think I'm gonna make all my decisions this way in the future.

Sunday, 8 January 2012

The Hieros Gamos

Sue (thank you) pointed me in the direction of Lisa Renee's latest channel:

Friday, 06 January 2012 19:40
January 2012
by Lisa Renee

The New Relationship Paradigm

“The term hieros gamos is used generally to refer to the sacred marriage between two divinities, or between a human being and Mother/Father God, or between two human beings (under certain special conditions); the ultimate alchemy of forces which harmonize polar opposites.

Oh gawd

Oh gawd.

After more than 8 months of talking about getting a spouse visa to remain in Australia, my daughter and her partner seem to have waivered somewhat. He has always had a hankering to go to Canada and now they are discussing whether to use the huge sum of money they have to pay for her visa to rather buy tickets to fly to Canada and get a working holiday visa.

Saturday, 7 January 2012

Winds of change

These winds of change are certainly blowing away my cobwebs. I had another epiphany yesterday.

I’ve been wondering for a while (briefly on and off) what I will do once my stint at the hospital is over. I’m not sure when this is happening – it all depends on us being re-banded (NHS ‘talk’ for salaries which are graded on a scale) – which is the final part of my mission.

I've been looking at this from a 3D perspective - cos it's the only thing I know. I need to start something now and get it settled before my leaving. But what? Do I wait for another career change? Do I go it on my own? What kinda work will give me the flexibility to take time off for the travelling? I figure with my travels looming, this is a call for abundance in every way and will manifest when I am ready...and this includes hubby - neither of us will be content to sit around doing nothing.

I’ve not worried too much about it as I know what I need will come my way when the time is right. Nothing has materialised as a strong puller for me. I’ve had many suggestions but none that seemed to resonate deep within me or seemed to be exploitation which I am not comfortable with.

Friday, 6 January 2012

Smooth Change Over

Funny how I want change and when it happens I’m all in a tizz and become a drama queen.

We’ve moved into our new ward up at the hospital and of course there are a few teething problems. I’d asked them up there for help to make sure that the transition was smooth and it was/is.

The biggest change for me is the amount of walking I have to do. It will take time to remember where everything is stored. Whilst wiring up patients on Tuesday night I couldn’t remember where half of the stuff was. So as a result I wasn’t my usual efficient self. The patients were very sympathetic…but still…

Yesterday I did the first day clinic in the morning and siesta studies in the afternoon. Wow was that an exercise in tolerance. The builders were there painting and hammering and the office staff were still trying to find their feet. I had to lay down the law when it came to all the admin staff – every one of them was wearing high heels and were clopping up and down the long echoing passageway. Jeepers, made me feel like a killjoy but everyone cheerfully tiptoed around.

Thursday, 5 January 2012

What the Mayan Elders are saying about 2012 by Carlos Barrios

Story Here By Carlos Barrios

Carlos Barrios, Mayan elder and Ajq'ij (is a ceremonial priest and spiritual guide) of the Eagle Clan. Carlos initiated an investigation into the different Mayan calendars circulating. Carlos along with his brother Gerardo studied with many teachers and interviewed nearly 600 traditional Mayan elders to widen their scope of knowledge.

Carlos found out quickly there were several conflicting interpretations of Mayan hieroglyphs, petroglyphs, Sacred Books of 'Chilam Balam' and various ancient text. Carlos found some strong words for those who may have contributed to the confusion:

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

Immerse yourself

Immerse yourself totally in your new world’ is what I remember from my dreams.

As I lay in bed I thought about what this meant. I’ve held a vision for as long as I can remember of me living in harmony and love with the world around me. So how was this going to be different?

Do I imagine hubby being different from what he is? That sort of hit a bad note. Does that not constitute manipulation? But then I thought – well my reality is mine to create so surely that’s okay. Again a bum note. No, it’s not okay.

Fine. So I started again. What about living and feeling love around me? Yep better.

So basically it boils down to this…

Me, myself, I

For about half an hour this morning I could see and feel the beauty of the 5D world everywhere around me. I seemed to have lost contact with it lately and it made me pretty sad and...if I am honest…anxious. I was worried I’d done something wrong to find myself bouncing between the dense 3D and the disharmonious 4D. I kept on thinking 'when the time is right I’ll find my way back'…but in the back of my mind was the doubt that has niggled at me most of my life.

There is nothing like doubt to throw you off your game.

It was a relief to know the 5D world was still there. Still there in my heart and around me, I’d simply lost sight of it amongst all the debris surrounding me.