|Pic taken by hubby today on his walkabout|
I have come to the conclusion that in my relationship with hubby…he’s the DO-er and I’m the BE-er. I’ve noticed this before but somehow this morning the observation seemed to be so much more than an observation.
Maybe it has something to do with the relationships I have with most people. I get on well with BE-ers but DO-ers I enjoy the most. Probably because they are the opposite of me.
I am the thinker…I think things through and sometimes get myself tied up in knots about it. Whereas hubby is what I’d call a knee-jerker…he reacts and then regrets it…well sometimes he does...mostly he thinks he is justified...and then creates some scenario which backs up his justification :-)
I figure that we need to find the balance between us as a couple. Isn’t this what our current lifetime is all about…creating balance in our lives…whether it is relationship or work (which again is a relationship, isn’t it?)
There have been times when we’ve swapped and he’s been the thinker and me the reactor…but it is not very often.
Last night we had a huge dump of snow. I was supposed to go out with friends but it was cancelled due to the weather forecast. Wasn’t sure I’d like to be stranded in a restaurant for the weekend…so we cancelled late yesterday afternoon.
I’d woken yesterday morning and asked what was ahead of me today. I tend to ask this as a matter of course. Can’t remember when I started doing it. I think it might have come about when I realised that unless I have focus in a day off, I tend to get nothing done.
I used to do this years ago when still working in London. If I woke feeling ill or something was ‘off’, I’d ask myself whether I should go into work or not. I’d always get an answer that resonated and I’d do whatever was given to me.
Anyways…off track again…I asked what was ahead of me yesterday and what I got was that the evening would be cancelled and hubby and I would spend time together doing the ‘hatcha patcha dance’…hehe. It has something to do with a big download of some kind.
I do still take these messages with a pinch of salt and allow myself to be flexible, cos I don’t want to be slavish about it. So I follow what the day has for me instinctively and if it turns out like my message then great and all…which it generally does. I never know these days who's in charge :-)
Hubby has gone off to walk around in the snow, taking pictures and generally enjoying the quiet beauty that comes with it. Me? Well, let’s say I’m snuggled up in bed. Once I get myself going I’ll venture outside to get frozen to death. Not my favourite pastime, I might add. But I also enjoy the quiet beauty of the snow.
Last night during the ‘hatcha patcha dance’, I felt very detached, as though observing myself and hubby. I came to the realisation that once again, he is the DO-er and I am the BE-er. Male – active, female – passive. And yet in my passiveness I am active. Although this is not always the case as we do swap roles.
I see the energy moving and creating through both of us. Physically he might be doing but emotionally he is passive and accepting, whereas I am active with the emotions and the energy even though I seem to be accepting what he is giving. I know this might be difficult to understand but it seems to be a middle place for both of us.
Okay let me try this again…He is doing and I am accepting – giving and receiving. He gives me physically and therefore energetically. I accept the energy and as it runs through my body it activates my body and returns to him to activate his body with energy. In turn I am giving and he is receiving. This is a simplified version, I know it is far more in-depth than what I've written here.
Thus we create a cycle of energy that is both active and passive...and between us create a mandala or mandalas of energy that move around us and out into the world.
Sometimes these mandalas are tiny bubbles that move out or they are large enough to surround hubby and I and expand to encompass a far greater area around us.
But not only are there mandalas created, there are spirals, sparks, zig zags of energy. I’ve not really paid too much attention to them otherwise it takes me out of the NOW moment and if I focus on what is going on I come out of my body and into my mind.
Athena has mentioned with practice I will be able to understand but I’ve not ventured into that…suppose I’m not ready yet. It’s kinda like being in a meditation and getting all kinds of thoughts and visions and then not remembering the order they came in…mainly because in that moment there was no order…it simply is/was.
Now I am going to address this thing about ‘doppelgangers’. I’m not sure why this has come up and I don’t know and understand the full picture, but Athena has been insistent that it be uploaded and so I’ve done so. I don’t know anymore about it than anyone else.
She has assured me that it will unfold slowly and as we do so, we will be giving instances in my lifetime so that others (and I) may understand the concept and link it to their own life. I did get a glimpse and kinda went into shut down at the enormity of the understanding…so I’m happy to go slowly.
Besides I think I have enough on my plate at the moment.
And another thing…doubt is playing its tune big time in my ear. I know I have to say goodbye to doubt. It is difficult…it has been a very big friend/foe over the years. I was guided once more to Mati’s blog about being willing to let go and I know that it is necessary. I did a bit of EFT this morning and a huge welling of grief came up.
Ah well…as Noel’s grannies say – ‘onwards and upwards, dearies’…