Chapter 4 - integration

I woke last night. 

As I was lying waiting for some kind of indication as to why I was awake, I realised that something was connected to my solar plexus…a very thick cord running from me to something. I was about to cut the cord when I fell asleep.

This morning I woke feeling a bit out of sorts. It doesn’t matter what I’ve done, nothing has made a difference, so here I am sitting and waiting for an answer.

I see the strong cord running from me to another and all around is wild winds and crackling electricity as though we are in the middle of an electric storm.

It is dark and yet I can see clearly what is going on.

It is Azra and I facing off against each other. And yet…are we facing off? Jagged strips of lightning are running from her to me and bouncing off into the dark surrounding us. Despite the howling winds we are not affected by them.

Is this a battle of wits to see who is the stronger? I know she mentioned that if I weaken she will take advantage…this is simply the way she is wired. 

The white light of protection around me is crackling and sizzling.

I know she is trying to tell me something but there is so much static around I cannot hear her. A white light suddenly shoots out of my root and into mother earth far below me. I see a corresponding darkness from Azra to mother earth.

And POW it hits me like a bolt of lightning. We are integrating and it is now that I realise what she is trying to tell me. In the integration who will be the stronger?

A white sword appears in my hand and I use it to draw the lightning away from my solar plexus…and then realise I have a second one in my other hand. The electricity runs from one hand through me to the other.

Both swords are lit up and I instinctively brought their points together and a white light shoots out where they meet. I seem to have formed a triangle. I know that I must direct the column of light shooting out of the tips at Azra…but I feel reluctant and very sad.

Slowly I lower the swords until the light connects with Azra’s heart…I hear her scream and the agony hits me in the heart. I want to cry with grief but hold strong as it pours into her. Looking down I notice that our two columns of light from our root chakras into mother earth are combining on mother earth so that Azra and I form a triangle with each other.

Azra seems to have calmed down and in her hands are dark swords from which dark energy is pouring and which she directs at my heart. I feel it flood into me and yet even though it is dark energy, it doesn’t feel uncomfortable…more something familiar coming home to roost.

Three triangles.

The compassion and love I feel for her, shoots out of my heart and touches hers. With tears streaming I pull her towards me as I lift the swords high to the heavens. She does the same but points them down and as she draws closer, I see a smile that is a combination of sadness and happiness on her face. It is like finding a long lost sister.

I feel my heart growing until it is large enough to engulf her. She gives me one last sad smile and disappears.

I’ve been crying for ages. I am not sure why. Is it the loss of an ‘enemy’ who challenged me regularly on my journeys through each life? Or possibly the end of an era and a move into the new me? Am I grieving for the old me? Possibly…I don’t know…all I know is that I am grieving and happy at the same time.

All of the ‘mes’ out there have been waiting for this for a long time…each one in their own way working towards the ultimate goal of ascension and oneness.

I need time out to integrate this and find the balance within me…and to mourn.

P.S. This is as I remember it...much was happening so I might have missed a few things in the heat of the moment...and it was almost occurring simultaneously.