Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, in between the tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Wednesday, 30 March 2011


I am writing this piece as a collaboration of channelled messages and my own inner knowledge.

Laughter – the best medicine. We’ve all heard this before and yet very few of us believe it. I know I didn’t for a loooong time.

There have been very many times on my journey when I’ve been so wrapped up in the intensity of my emotions I’d forgotten to laugh. As a result I’d spiral down, down, down until I was in the depths of despair. Being with your emotions is a good and cathartic experience but, as many others and I have found, you can create more bad energy the longer you dwell on it.

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

I have figured out who Hephestemon is

I have finally figured out who Hephestemon is. I did, at one stage, feel it might be warrior energy of some kind protecting me, but wasn’t sure. I received many suggestions that it could be Hephaestus (thank you to all who made suggestions) but it didn’t resonate or ring true with me. All I kept seeing was this rather scary looking weatherbeaten individual of huge proportions. A few days ago the word ‘keeper’ started to move around in my head and yesterday (while trying to run away from writing my assignment) I came across this piece by Nova Spirit on TI and had a moment of epiphany. Thank you Nova Spirit.

Sunday, 27 March 2011

Glowering sky

Three glorious days of sunshine have given way to a sky filled with white cloud and a slightly cooler atmosphere. Rain is once again on the horizon.

I find it quite amazing that for a country where the ‘stiff upper lip’ is so prevalent, water flows from the sky regularly and in great abundance. The sky above is constantly overcast and gloomy, almost glowering at us as though holding on to its emotions. So nature, in lush abundance and revelling in the excess water, gathers around us as we live on our little island. I see the flow of water as a flush of emotions.

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

I'm in Mourning

I’m in mourning. Mourning the passing of the ‘old’ me.

I started feeling tearful last night and assumed I was simply overwhelmed by the stories from women around the world who are experiencing this change. My darling anchoring shielding husband held me most of the night last night as I alternated between tears and happiness. Where he gets his patience from I don’t know. Love is...

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Who else feels the return of the Divine Feminine with the Spring Equinox?

When I thought I had fully integrated my higher self, I didn’t know the half of it.

Lighted Loving had channelled recently that on the Spring Equinox the Divine Feminine would return to earth after centuries of absence. Little did I know what that meant!

As the east of the planet moved into the early hours of the morning of 20 March, I started to feel restless and tearful...again. This seems to be a theme for me lately. My astute hubby noticed and told me to stop worrying about Libya. I was surprised cause I wasn’t even thinking of that situation. I was wondering how the planet would react to the influx of feminine energy.

Sunday, 20 March 2011

Hubby's birthday

When I asked hubby what he would like to do for his birthday his answer was, "I don’t know. Let’s see what the day brings."

I could, of course, have created a lovely surprise for him. Done that once before – never again – he hates surprises. Must be a left over from the days when he was in the army and had no control. Hubby is a man’s man, the ultimate warrior - always has plans from A – Z, just in case. Drives me insane and my eyes roll. But I do have to admit that he is always on top of things, whereas me - I fly by the seat of my pants. I never used to be this way – I also had plans, but gak...life happens.

Friday, 18 March 2011

I have finally gone mad

A gauntlet was recently thrown down and I picked it up, accepting the challenge. What, you might wonder, is the challenge? To try and write romance. But not, I might add, any kind of romance. Oh no, it has to be exotic...erm sorry erotic...actually I will leave it as exotic erotic romance and it needed to be at least five pages long.

Thursday, 17 March 2011

Lord Sananda dream

I had a very vivid dream approximately a year ago, which I wrote down as it was so strongly real. The dream started with me standing in a beautiful little chapel in Scotland. I don’t know how I know it was Scotland. I was staring in stunned silence at the beautiful stained glass windows. The sun streamed in casting a beautiful kaleidoscope of colours on the stone floor. I remember sighing at the splendour of it, feeling the peace that surrounded the little chapel.

Whoa - heavy stuff!

Yeah, baby, I’m back in the saddle again. Three weeks of celibacy whilst concentrating on integrating my higher self and drive the Merkaba came to an end last night.

What can I say to express the amazing transformation – *grin* - pole dancing took on a whole new meaning!

All I can say is if every single one of us were at one with our higher selves – and I encourage you to do so, the energies are calling to us to do this – the world’s perspective on life would be so very different.

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Sorely Tested

My strength as a Goddess and empath was sorely tested the night before last. One of my patients was a war veteran dealing with PTSD. To top it all he stops breathing in his sleep and uses alcohol and cigarettes to help him through the day. He was belligerent as he walked through the door. He’d phoned the centre a few times and left angry messages – was the universe preparing me for this?

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Higher Self and the Merkaba

I had the most amazing experience this morning.

Most of my energy lately has been poured into creating my Merkaba vehicle, so tantra has fallen to the wayside, which I suspect is a bit of a relief for both of us. Hubby and I are very tired as we make the changes energetically and physically. We still spend quality time together having fun and laughing, but the deep soul connection isn’t quite fitting. This happens from time to time as we both work through clearings at a different pace. We are still comfortable in our relationship as we walk the path for a while as friends, romantic friends, but nevertheless friends. Sex might be out the window but romance never dies.

Last week I tried to connect with my higher self but came away with sinus problems. Later that day I read a blog by ‘Music’ who mentioned the opening of the nasal chakra which allows us to ‘see’ into the higher dimensions and was somehow connected to the Merkaba. Thank you for this info.

Today I read about someone’s dream – what does it relate to? The Merkaba. Again, the Merkaba. Am I being pushed or what? There seems to be some urgency related to this because everywhere I go or anything I read or things people mention seem to point to this. I’m working as fast as I can without imploding. Jeepers universe, cut me some slack.

Anyway, back to the bit about my higher self. The reason I need to connect with my higher self is that in order to ‘drive’ the Merkaba, I should be one with her which will keep me safe. Each time I do the Merkaba I imagine her connecting with me but it has felt slightly uncomfortable, until this morning.

She fully integrated with me for the entire time. By the time I’d finished the last breath my whole body was buzzing. It was...exhilarating, is the only word I can think of. I was sitting in my Merkaba and I was her, and she was me. Once I’d finished the breathing and was sitting quietly without anything to focus on, me being me started to think rather than be, got so excited I promptly shot her out of my body.

Sunday, 13 March 2011

Stimulation - partial channel

Sensory receptors of the body respond to movement, pressure, and vibration. Stimulation of these sends neurological signals to the brain and in a healthy person is interpreted as pleasure or pain. They are all over the skin, internal organs and the genital area, some places more than others. If the sensory receptors of the skin are constantly bombarded with stimulation, for example clothes scraping against skin, they will adapt and stop sending impulses thereby stopping an overload of the senses.

Therefore when performing oral sex, change the pressure and stimulation or move to a different area. This goes for penetration as well. Change your movements and position constantly as you build the energy. Sometimes it is necessary to stop moving and take a break by simply breathing thus allowing the sensory receptors of your body to relax. Listen to your body, feel your inner world and use the information. Don’t over analyse; simply be aware, conscious and present. Slowing down and stopping heightens the senses.

When we are in a state of love the juices that we produce during lovemaking are filled with very potent energy. The higher our vibrational state the more potent the juices. The taste and smell of these juices are linked to our senses and in turn hit parts of our endocrine system that regulates the hormones we release. Endocrine means secrete within. The more we enjoy the sensations the more we create and this then increases our pleasure. It becomes a cycle of every increasing pleasure.

Oral sex is a state of giving and receiving. Whoever is giving the oral sex is also receiving the energy and vice versa. The pleasure of giving and receiving with love. The receiver relaxes into the moment, savours and accepts, while the giver is immersed in the pleasure of giving. The energy is cycling through both bodies in opposite directions. The only time the energy runs in the same direction, is when one partner needs to be brought back into balance. He or she will then be the receiver. But, and this is a big but, if they are constantly needing to be the receiver, it should be addressed as there is a permanent imbalance.

Saturday, 12 March 2011

Happy to be known as a Pleasurina

The practice of tantra is very dear to my heart. Okay, I have many things dear to my heart but all of them lead to one thing – a closeness with me. I love the expression that tantra creates, the beauty of who we are and...

Well, you know I’m heading for a BUT here.

There has been a slight jarring note with-in me about the feminine. Yes, I know the feminine is the creative, nurturing side and we are moving into the feminine Aquarian era and this side has been repressed and is considered submissive and (by some) inferior. On the other end of the scale we have the worship of the Goddess, placing her on a pedestal – this is the jarring note, as it does not seem very balanced to me.

Don’t get me wrong - as a Goddess myself I am very happy that we are a-changing. I’ve been through the hell of feeling helpless and being angry with the masculine – been there, seen it, done it, have cleared it and moved on.

I cannot help sparing a compassionate thought for the masculine? He stood alone without his feminine counterpart to balance him. The two missed each other deeply. The pain caused by their separation created our world as it is today.

I’m probably going to be shot down by the purists but I do feel very strongly about this. I apologise in advance if I get up your nose with this blog. It is not meant to be confrontational, merely thought provoking...which to some could be confrontational.

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

What are plants telling us?

The last two days in the UK have been sunny, cold but sunny. Yesterday was a bit of a washout as I’d worked the night before and by the time I got to sit in the sun it was mostly hidden behind buildings. Today, however was a different story. Wrapped up in a jacket but with my head and hands exposed I could feel my body eagerly drawing in the gentle rays of the sun.

While I was enjoying this experience I looked around my garden. It has been showing signs of waking up after the long cold winter. Each year I’m never sure what will return and grow in the summer sun. As a flower essence practitioner I’ve always had a great deal of interest in the plant life around me. I know that whatever decides to grow in my garden is needed by me and my family.

Approximately 6 years ago Celandine suddenly made an appearance. It grows wild here but I’d never had it in the garden. Celandine’s energy assists with tantra work and it was at this time that hubby and I seriously started working with tantric energy. It was at this time that I received a couple of hydrangea plants from a friend. I never had much luck growing them – I’ve tried over the years but they never took. Therefore I was surprised to discover they flourished and I now have six huge bushes. Hydrangea creates clarity of mind and an ability to focus.

The most prolific bush growing in the UK is gorse. It has wonderfully cheerful yellow flowers but the leaves of the bush are a dull green. Since we arrived to live in the UK 12 years ago, I’d noticed an air of hopelessness and despair. Guess what gorse does? Yep. To help those living here to clear the feeling of hopeless and despair from their energy gorse grows profusely.

Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Cycling Energy (Part Two) - channel by Lighted Loving

I am Jem, Pleasurex of the First Order of Lighted Loving. I greet you in love and pleasure.

We understand that the previous lesson is slightly confusing. We are addressing you as a whole, in other words, male and female aspects together in one body. As you integrate your past lives you will find this necessary. The body you currently live in is the ‘flagship’ into which all your other lives will flow for integration.

What we are teaching you is very different from what many of you might have learnt, even those of you who have had tantric training. We have been working through various lessons with our channel as she has requested this. Being fully conscious of her role, she is unable to allow any teachings to be broadcast until she herself has tried them. Hence the reason for the length of time between lessons.

Turning to concentrate on cycling the energy. You and your partner continue to mirror each other as the energy runs up your spine and splits at the heart before moving up and out the crown into your partner’s crown. Sit for a few moments and feel this energy moving through your body, all the while breathing rhythmically and gently.

Sunday, 6 March 2011

Higher heart

A flower with hundreds of petals has been a mandala that has become very prominent in my every day life. I’m always aware of it in my mind, my vision and, strangely enough, in my body. It is varying shades of pink. ‘Higher heart’ was all I kept getting. It did not matter what emotional state I was in, it was there. The higher heart is the thymus area. The thymus is large and working when we are little but as we grow it shrivels from lack of use.

Friday, 4 March 2011

Pregnancy and my awakening

Seeing this gorgeous picture on the internet made me remember the awe and pleasure, the erotic feel of creating and growing life within me. I knew the minute I fell pregnant with both my children despite not being aware at the time. I’d shut down my abilities at a young age as I found the world very harsh and unsympathetic. I come from a long line of mediums but my grandmother was terrified of her ability and refused to talk about it.

Wednesday, 2 March 2011

Super duper energy

Following on from the Merkaba...

Hubby and I have gone up to a new level as far as love making is concerned.

The energy is so powerful that he’s finding it difficult to be in control (and his control is phenomenal). He feels like a 16 year old boy, eager as a beaver. I’m trying very hard to be aware of what I’m doing and slow down, while he is galloping off down the road at a hectic pace. We both have to get used to this potent energy which will make for some interesting encounters.