I am the creator

 
I sat down to meditate this morning. Lately I find it very pleasant and easy to sit in the lotus position. It’s not something I’ve ever done before as I couldn’t maintain the position for very long and I’d always preferred to either lie down or sit up straight with my legs stretched before me. 

Over the last few days since hubby’s gone, I’ve been really tired, happy but tired and so I’ve been sleeping all the time. I’d wake for a few hours to do a few things and then need to sleep and each sleep has been very deep…until I’d wake drenched in sweat. Nice thing about having a double bed is you can move to the other side to get away from the wet sheets  :-)

Whenever this happens to me, together with the fact that I am feeling rather insular, I know that I am in the process of both downloading and integrating. I’ve tried to tune in and meditate over what was happening, but couldn’t get anything. I simply got ‘white noise’, almost as though I’d not quite tuned into where I need to be.

Last night in the bath I tried again, but all I got was static and the shadow to my right and slightly behind me that has been with me over the last week. Not sure what it is…but I dare say I’ll eventually find out.

This morning I decided to try again. I found myself in the lotus position, the skirt of energy around me and the cone-shaped hat of energy on my head. I had a long tap root from my perineum area straight down into the earth and I could feel the interaction of energy that I was having with Mother Earth. I was in my favourite place surrounded by trees and at one with her.

It felt sexual and creative at the same time and I felt like I could do anything. I heard the words ‘I give into the rhythm and my feet follow the beat of my heart’. It was the words from one of the songs on my MP3 and made me smile because it reminded me of the slow and deliberate dance I’d been doing lately beneath the skirt of energy. I’d been creating some kind of signature and yes…I’d been following the beat of my heart.

And now here I was exchanging sexual energy with Mother Earth and we were in the process of creating…I wasn’t sure what.

Now remember - I was in a different space and as I am sitting here writing this up, I can’t quite get the sequence of events but I will do my best.

I noticed my sacral and throat burst open and out came a flood of energy. I realised that I was singing something into existence. I could see the notes and strangely enough numbers pouring out of my throat…aha…I just realised it was a binary sequence…WOW. Almost as though I was creating a computer program.

Then all the chakras came on board, sending out energy and it created a circle around me in the form of a tube torus. My crown was connected to the Sun and my root to the Earth.

My hands were weaving in a dance of their own. On one occasion the energy seemed to turn to water and I could see bubbles. At one stage I remember playing a flute.

A bird shot out of the bubble of energy and then another and another. Then came a few other flying things…might have been insects or something. I realised that I was creating a world. Was this how the creator gods created? Was I being shown how it’s done so that I could create my own world?

A brief flash of ‘where is the masculine in this creation’ ran through my mind and I could see above me that both my masculine and feminine aspects were entwined. This made me wonder about Mother Earth. We see her as a female entity, but surely if all of us are both aspects and bringing them back into balance, Mother Earth must have a Father Earth?

We humans have tended to genderise (is that a word?) everything and possibly because of this we might have missed something. In fact I’m sure we have.

As I continued to sing and weave my hands, I noticed that I was creating more and more animals, plants, streams, etc. I was struck by a single thought ‘I am everything in my world’. Wow…that means every single thing on planet earth is me. That is a single thought of unity.

In other words, my cat and I are one. Every snake or spider that we are terrified of…is an aspect of us. Why do they come into our space and what do we do when we see them? 

It then made me wonder about the creator gods. If each one of them spent time creating all these millions and millions of aspects of themselves then where are they? Are they completely depleted being split into so many different atoms? I suppose with everything happening at the same time, that those of us who have tapped into our higher selves are tapping into the whole aspect (or maybe the partially whole aspect) before they split up.

 

Maybe not, because as I created I did not feel depleted…more the opposite – completely energised.

And again brought to mind what Athena told me on the night we integrated – that I am but one of a many small sparks of herself. Does that mean that each one of us 65 billion humans living on earth are formed from a few creator gods…and if so…again I realised my cats and I are made from the same entity.

 

I’ve known this on a mental level…but this is a knowing at the cellular level…as the memories open and I remember…a remembering that resonates through my body

How mind boggling is that?

After this in-depth monologue with myself, I found that the tap root had grown into a stalk and I was being pushed high up into the air and was throwing a lasso of energy over the Earth and from this energy more fauna and flora was created.

I became a massive undulating and moving ball of energy and then my vision split. I could see myself from a distance as well as being inside my body. I became a bird, butterfly, etc. Everything I’d created…I became and experienced what it was like to be in their body.

When I came back to my body, I found that I was jumping somersaults on the stalk…again creating some kind of energy but I wasn’t sure what. Eventually I lay flat and simply sank into being and not creating. I suppose it was showing me the different experiences of BEing and DOing.

The expansiveness of who I am/was in the meditation really brought home the fact that I am everything…everything without exception.

This has helped me to understand that as I make the changes within, I am having a knock-on effect on everything else.

All this time the MP3 players was playing songs and each time something happened, I’d hear certain words from a song pop out for me to take notice.

Altogether a very enjoyable experience and as I sit here I am in total awe at the scope and expanse of who/what we are and how beautifully we have orchestrated this experience.

Kudos to us all and I salute you and myself.