Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, in between the tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Saturday, 30 July 2011

A smorgasbord of nationalities

This blog has been running around in my head for months, but I have never written it up, cos I thought it was irrelevant to anyone else. I now understand that it is possibly relevant to many.

Bear with me as I waffle on about hubby and I…there is a point to this :)

Hubby and I, two years ago decided to join the Ancestry website so we could trace our ancestry. My mom and his aunt had done a bit already but something was not quite right. His aunt maintained that the Cottle family were from Wales and yet when we went on holiday to Cornwall in 2008 we stumbled onto the place she was talking about. This confused us ‘cos we were wondering if there were two of them in the UK. She also skimmed over the ‘other’ nationalities that made themselves known as we dug deeper.

Friday, 29 July 2011

Shooting from the hip

The more I get into this 5D thing the more I am getting the hang of BEing.

Hubby and I discussed this last night. Well…I initiated the discussion – it’s not something he would think about. He maintains I analyse too much.

Maybe I do think too much but I like to look at things from many different perspectives before I am satisfied with what I have discovered. I like to look at it from a logical point of view and then from an esoteric point of view and find the balance between the two.

Thursday, 28 July 2011

And so it starts...

I’ve been pondering on the idea of having a sanctuary in 5D and moving out into the 3D world to carry out ‘humanitarian’ work. This idea has been in my head for a long time. I suppose I’m pretty much doing it now – haha…I get paid to do my humanitarian work by the NHS and they don’t even know it. As Roseheart said in her blog – we are going to be the new Ascended Masters.

Them up there are upping the ante very soon. I get this feeling in my waters that we are heading for a massive change in our living. Not a bad thing. There will be those who will remain in 5D to keep the ‘home fires’ burning and those who will return to 3D to carry on working with those who are waking.

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Are we supposed to be having fun?

Are we supposed to be having fun, ‘cos I ain’t feeling it. I have become so very serious I decided last night to do something different.

I wore one psychedelic pink and one psychedelic orange sock to work (which you can see through my crocs), together with a bright yellow t-shirt under my white uniform. I scraped my hair back into a ponytail on top of my head so it bobbed around my face and did an impromptu lecture to all the patients en masse in the reception area this morning, instead of individually in their rooms when I wake them.

Monday, 25 July 2011

The Silent Sentinels


I’ve been meaning to write this for ages but keep putting it off. This is mainly because I’m not fully aware of exactly what these beings are. What I am about to write now is by no means complete.

There are many different posts in the lightworker army. One of them that hasn’t been talked about are the ‘silent sentinels’.

Saturday, 23 July 2011

Gregg Braden - The 7 Essene Mirrors

Very good powerful workshop about all kinds of relationships according to the Essenes.
Well worth the time to watch - it is over 2 hours long.

Thursday, 21 July 2011


I had the weirdest reaction a few minutes ago. I’ve been constantly disturbed today whilst trying to catch up on my sleep. I worked last night…I’ll talk about this later.

Firstly, I forgot to disconnect the phone in the bedroom and it rang about two hours into my sleep. I tried to settle down after that but then the postman knocked on the door with a parcel too large to fit through the letter box. Then one of my son’s friends knocked on the door loudly, half an hour later another one knocked. Then the next door neighbour decided to drill something.

Repatterning our Sexuality: Preparation for Living on the New Earth

The Hathors through Celia Fenn

Dearest Family, and we call you this because as you move into your ascension you come closer and closer to us. Only once before have we been this close to you, and that was when we worked with you in Egypt. Then, as now, our teachings were about beauty, love and power. We are the singers and dancers of the Cosmos, and we come to teach you how to channel and to use your sexual energies in ways that are beautiful and creative and more appropriate for you at this time in your evolution.

Why we feel so tired so often

by Celia Fenn

Many people who are going through the Indigo to Crystal shift find that intense fatigue and tiredness are two of the predominant symptoms of their shift. They feel exhausted all the time, and just want to sleep. And when they do sleep, they sleep deeply and do not want to get up.

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

The strangest 24 hours - Crystal Caves

This has been the oddest initiation, or whatever it is, I’ve ever had the privilege of being part of.

At about 5 o’clock last night I was aware of 95% of me being placed in a ‘holding cell’. It seemed to be shaped like a rectangular chamber with rounded edges. I lay in the pod or cocoon which was made of a clear substance – like a clear quartz crystal but I don’t think it was. I drifted in and out of being aware of me there and here on earth. It made me feel quite nauseous and I kept on wanting to throw up. Horrible.

Tuesday, 19 July 2011


As I got ready for the ritual tonight, I asked Athena what this was all about.

For years I’ve had a vision of me standing in the middle of a vast crowd of people. We all simply held the energy. I don’t really know what it means and I’m not going to hazard a guess, ‘cos I never get it right.

I asked why I cannot remain doing what I am doing now. I’m comfortable with it.

Crystal caves

It’s time to move on and take up my new post. I have no idea what it is but I do know that I no longer need to anchor balance any more and it is being handed over to someone else to maintain it.

Things are speeding up. Gone are the days when I’d hold a position for a decade or so and then move up. This last position has been a mere six months.

Again today, I transmuted energies – it’s become a habit that I’ve been doing it for so long it’s automatic. I am no longer needed as there are so many embracing this. I’m sad. Not only about Africa but that I am no longer going to do this very beautiful job of transmuting.


MacIntyre’s Toughest Towns in the World was on the TV last night. Hubby called me to watch it. It was about his (and therefore mine) home town, Cape Town.

Horrifying…there is a product that is smoked there called ‘tik’. It is made up of household products such as bleach and other cleaning stuff (which they refused to name) as well as rat poison. Blooming heck - a seriously slow addictive death.

Sunday, 17 July 2011

Jeepers - the links are just pouring in

Namibian crystals

It’s amazing how much information a person can gather when ‘sharing’.

My question ‘Where do I come’ from has certainly opened new doors for me to focus on and get, if not the whole answer, certainly parts of it. I’d been given a link to Amorah Quan Yin’s website where she spoke about Pallas Athena and the Trinity of Goddesses. In perusing her site, my eye was drawn to a section where she talks about Namibian crystals.

Saturday, 16 July 2011

Whatta Man


Where do I come from?

A question I’ve asked myself on the odd occasion over the last 16 years of my conscious spiritual journey has never been answered. I’ve asked it and then been distracted by other more important developments in my growth.

Who am I? Part of it was answered with the revelation that Pallas Athena is my higher self. It also answered the question why she seemed to hang around (is ‘hang around’ the right words for a goddess?) without ever interacting with me. I simply thought she was an interested entity.

Friday, 15 July 2011

Thank you

Do any of you have any idea how much you help me to grow?

Whether your reactions are good, bad, indifferent or no response at all, everything has contributed.

You are like signposts along this path for me and for this I thank you with much gratitude.

From my heart to yours

Wednesday, 13 July 2011


I’m starting to understand and question more as I remember…hmm…not so much remembering as becoming.

Let me start at the beginning.

As a child I used to ‘know’ things. I never thought it was strange until I hit my twenties. That was when I started to wonder how I knew what I knew. I asked my mom, but she didn’t have an answer. She said it could just simply be common sense.

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

LOVE takes the Lead: the return of feminine power

(Not sure that I'd tell entities to 'piss off' but...we all deal with those in the way we feel comfortable)

Lauren's blog:
July really came in with a bang…pun intended. Speaking of fireworks... a heartfelt thank you for all the birthday wishes from each and every one of you and from all over the world. Every single email was a precious gift, and I lit up like birthday cake for each one. There is so much love in this community that its hard to take it all in, in one sitting, so I read these letters for days on end...which made my special day feel like a special week. (Tho, with the compression of time, the 4th really felt like an eighth, so I s e r i o u s l y had to milk it.) Anyway, thank you all for being beautiful.


As my senses heighten each day, I become more aware of those visiting me astrally.

Over the years I’ve ‘seen’ only when I’ve wanted to, whereas now I’m aware of someone visiting before they arrive.


I would like to salute all those souls out there who take on the negative entities by embracing and thus swallowing the energy in order to keep us safe.

This leaves you feeling weak and downtrodden, but within you is a hidden strength. As you transmute these huge amounts of negative energy you come back into the light only to be faced with another and so the whole process starts all over again. From the outside you seem to be of the dark side, but within you is a light that never goes out. I see you for who you are.

You keep us safe, you are the silent sentinels who’ve taken on this role without thought to yourselves. This is indeed service without thanks.

So, to you my friends, I bow in honour, and offer my thanks for without you we would be far worse off than we are. Salute.

The Lightworkers

Monday, 11 July 2011

Mirror mirror on the wall

Mirror mirror on the wall, reflecting back at us all.

Yesterday I was a flat battery. Saturday we were going out hiking but landed up at Dover Castle doing some sightseeing. We drive through Dover every year, catching a ferry to France to drive to wherever our holiday destination is. It is always in the middle of the night and we never stop to look around Dover.

There for the grace of God go I

I’m never quite sure why criticism is always badly received. Is it low self esteem? What is it that causes us to go into meltdown when someone is perceived to even slightly criticise us? Or what about thinking it's okay to criticise others but not receive it back?

Many years ago I wrote to Kryon after there was a channel stating that healing modalities are slowly becoming outdated and we’d start seeing new modalities coming through or the old ones adapting. Can’t remember when this was…must have been early part of the century ‘cos I was still working in London at the law firm.

Saturday, 9 July 2011

Moving some energy

After my revelation about the Violet Flame I decided last night it was time to accept it as part of me.

Yeah…I know…sometimes I do stupid things…

All night I hovered between baking hot and freezing cold. Restless and dream filled night. I woke at 6am feeling so thirsty I could have drunk a whole dam of water. My nose was sore and blocked. And my hips…didn’t matter which way I turned they were aching. Frazzled is a word I’d use. That Violet Flame sure burned something outa me!

Friday, 8 July 2011

Violet Flame of Transmutation

Violet Flame of Transmutation…that’s what it is. This is the main energy that is coming through.

How on earth…I thought it was simply an energy we could call upon wielded by the Angels of Transmutation.

I had a discussion with St Germain this morning about the purple hands and arms. I had to ask him, as the idea had popped into my head yesterday when I was at work.

Entering The Second-Half Of The Ninth Wave

Denise LeFay, Transitions, July 6, 2011

This is a short note about some of the big changes I’ve sensed and clairvoyantly seen since July 5, 2011. I figure we all need some good news no matter how small after what we’ve been through in June 2011! Actually, I was rather surprised at how dramatically the energies changed from the repulsive fourth of July mentality and first-half of the Ninth Wave, to the very next day—July 5th—everything feeling like the adults were back and the lower silliness was gone for good.


I am sitting here listening to Santana’s ‘Inner Secrets’ – reminds me of my teenage years.

I learnt to drive to this album, the music turned up loud. My boyfriend at the time was in the army and it was in his car that I had quite a few lessons…until the last time when I was so confident and travelling at such a speed that as I cornered, I almost flipped his car into a ditch or a ‘donga’ as they are called in Africa. His eyes were so large as he clung to the side of the seat, when I turned to look at him exhilarated that I’d managed to control the car in its slide across the dirt track. Needless to say that was the last time he offered to let me drive :)

Thursday, 7 July 2011

Fear of us

Upon reading QuietWord’s blog about ‘killing the sacred cow’ I got to reflecting on how perfectly we have created a world of fear.

Placing something on a pedestal and worshipping it takes the focus away from ourselves. In doing so, we have created the greatest mystery of all…who am I?

We seem to be more frightened of looking at ourselves than we are of the humungous white elephant in the room. Take away all the controversy in the world and we are left with…us

The purple people eater

Purple hands and arms.

That’s me.

My new skin colour.

This morning at our yearly refresher for first aid, defib and resus, the paramedic who leads the course asked me to hold my arm out for a demonstration.

My arm and hand were purple. As this registered in his brain, the picture painted on his face was priceless. He hesitated before asking to see my left arm and hand. Again purple. Boy, did he look puzzled. He felt my hands and commented how warm I was.

For my beloved hubby -

This song is dedicated to you, my beloved hubby.  You love me despite all my flaws, always step up to the plate, keep me safe, make me laugh, irritate the hell out of me, make me dance or screaming mad.

I love you, babe - you're everything I could have ever asked for...and more.


Tuesday, 5 July 2011

My job in 5D (a lighter perspective)

Hah! I thought I’d done my blog for the day. But no, it isn’t to be.

Nag nag nag…okay…

I have to give a rundown of my job in 5D *eye roll*

The question I need to ask is this:

If every single one of the lightworkers had to withdraw from 3D working, where would that leave the world?

My job in 3D

I woke this morning with a distinct feeling of excitement in the pit of my stomach. I had an excellent night of sleep last night, after asking to be left alone to recuperate. They are very good that way and will do what you ask.

I have been reflecting quite a bit lately on my job in 3D. Some of you might or might not know that I work in the NHS at a sleep centre as a sleep technician. I sort of landed in the job 7 years ago after leaving the world of law. I was blown away by the compassion I saw compared to the cut throat world of law. I started off there as a co-ordinator/secretary (part time) managing the centre with another part time co-ordinator. At the time there were 3 sleep technicians (two were on maternity leave), one consultant and a manager. I started my training – one night a week while juggling the co-ordinator role, thus learning the ropes from both ends.

Monday, 4 July 2011


We had a pretty hectic weekend filled with laughter and fun. And even though I’ve been introspective I really enjoyed it. Maybe it was the youthful energy of our son and his friends and my nephew and his fiancĂ© filling our little cottage to the rafters. We were bulging at the seams.

Once everyone had gone I was restless and yet very peaceful. It was a strange feeling of not quite being here or there.


Bliss. The one feeling that seems to elude us as humans in 3D.

I touched heaven this afternoon and have no words to express how it felt. I have been floating for hours, totally in another world, as has hubby. He’s gone off to play football to ground himself with some tough, sweaty exercise.

BEing…my body finally understands what this means and because of this it will now be easier to BE and not feel the need to DO all the time.

Thank you, Athena and hubby’s HS - when you said you’d show us your ‘version’ I had no idea :)

Saturday, 2 July 2011


I don’t have much to say at the moment. I’m in deep inner contemplation, assimilating and as yet unable to externalise it.

I only have one question.

Does anybody know what the significance of a teardrop is?

Every time I ask a question, a large very still teardrop appears before me. I focus on it, the world fades and then I don’t remember much.