Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, in between the tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Competition laid bare

As I read this piece it opened the floodgates of something that has been buzzing around - competition:

'I often try to imagine a world where we are not in competition with our fellow humans, but where we truly, madly, deeply celebrate when they actualize some part of their sacred purpose. 

Imagine that. A world where we get excited for each other when we achieve, where we do not see anothers' accomplishments as a reminder of things we have not yet actualized, but as living proof that it is possible for all of us. 

I love it when people accomplish something they have set out to do, when the phoenix rises from the ashes with actualization on its wings. Let’s invite each other higher, lets encourage each other to believe in our shared magnificence!'  - Jeff Brown 

Tuesday, 29 January 2013

The amazing and insightful energy of Fear

Over the last week I have developed a deep and resonant appreciation for the emotion of Fear.

It seems that the further we move into 2013, more and more layers are revealed. As each one is exposed, I find myself admiring the incredible alchemy of each emotion that is housed within me and my energy field.

I don’t expect everyone to understand what I mean…that is okay…it is simply an observation I can make today as I contemplate what has happened during these last 7 days.

Since the kundalini activation, fear has made itself known very strongly in my world. Initially I assumed it was hubby’s stuff, but that came back to bite me on the ass, didn’t it? How can I be quite so arrogant as to believe he is separate from me and therefore whatever happens to him has nothing to do with me? It has taken me this long week to understand.

Tuesday, 22 January 2013

To be or not to be

To be or not to be…that is the question!


A few things that cropped up during my recent meditations, creating a frisson of recognition within me, was to do with why I am here. I’d always wondered what it was that I am supposed to do.

I’ve taught, counselled and helped many others on their way and yet over the last 4 years or so I’ve lost the need for this. I keep attempting half heartedly to resurrect it, but nada, nothing…which has puzzled me as the vooma has disappeared.

Kundalini and the Mother energy

Towards the end of last week I dreamt about my mother. I cannot remember the dream in detail but I recall the feelings of being so loved in every way. When I awoke the song ‘we’ll meet again’ was playing in my head. I didn’t think too much about it, wondering if I’d get to see my mom again as I’ve not seen her for about 4 years now, as they don’t travel much these days.

Huh…it was actually an introduction to a different Mother energy as I discovered on Saturday…

Kundalini energy – not something I’ve delved into in a deep way, I simply call it the creative energy. I am aware of it and that every so often when it is triggered I can really feel it. For the most part it has been an active surging energy for a moment or two before it descends back to the base.

Saturday, 19 January 2013

Tiger tail/tale

Going for a walk just after New Year was a very strange event.

As hubby and I were walking cars were driving by hooting and waving, smiles on their faces. Hubby kept asking me if I knew the people. Can’t say I did. Anyways, after a while it became a bit of a puzzle and had me wondering whether I had grown horns or a tail.

As we strolled back home the path narrowed so we were walking single file – hubby behind me.

I heard him exclaim and then start laughing so uncontrollably that tears were pouring down his face. He couldn’t talk but kept pointing at my backside.

The amazing alchemy that is life

The deeper we move into this month, the more I realise the energies with-in me have changed in a tangible way making everything so much easier.

For years, the clearing of negative emotional debris has been my focus. I’ve always wondered when it would end because it seemed to go on forever. It is still an on-going quest, but is, as I said, much easier and much quicker.

As time has gone by, I noted the changes with-in manifesting in my reality with-out. But it was so subtle that it was in looking back that I recognised how much I’d transformed.

Friday, 18 January 2013

Mac n Cheese...and a little compassion

Just finished preparing Macaroni Cheese for tonight’s dinner as I’m doing a split shift this afternoon/evening reviewing patients, so when I get home after the first half I can shove it in the oven to warm up and eat before getting back to work for the second half. 

How cool is this - the NHS pays me to make difference, but I don’t do it only in the way they expect me to. It is a mixture of physical, emotional as well as energetic.  

Thursday, 17 January 2013

An intimate meditation of love

I have been feeling tightly wound tension in my body very acutely since Monday. I've not been tired much. In fact I have been full of energy and buzzing, which made me wonder last night, as I tried to fall asleep, what the heck was going on.

Re-calibrating, re-generating, integrating and re-membering…again. Diving even deeper with-in.

Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Good to stretch those muscles

I started Pilates/yoga class again on Monday after a six week break. This time instead of one on one, I am in a group mostly made up of women (with one lone man). 

My body was almost panting to get back. I kept on thinking and dreaming about the different poses in the week running up to Monday. It was great to stretch those muscles and body parts and although I was rather stiff from lack of use, I could feel my body going, ‘yeah, I love and missed this!’ Sorta surprised me.

Saturday, 12 January 2013

Exposed and to a degree...vulnerable

Today is a day I keep thinking, ‘What’s the point?’ and want to throw my hands up in the air.

When I have a day like this I know it is not the actual question that is relevant. It has taken me years to figure out why I have them. I used to think it meant that I’d lost faith. It doesn’t.

It simply means I have reached a zero point or time out. To stand still and BE in this time between – a no-breath time. No plans, no figuring things out..there is no point as this is a time of no-thing and all that will happen is that I will become frustrated. And so I've learnt to accept it and simply BE.

Thursday, 10 January 2013

Solar flares and other stuff

I guess there must have been a whopper of a solar flare last night as all three of us were awake  and incredibly restless through most of the night. As usual when this happens I feel like I have a low level fever and my skin cannot take anything touching it.

Thursday, 3 January 2013

Welcoming the New Year with love, forgiveness and laughter

We welcomed New Year’s Eve with a mixture of forgiveness, love and laughter. 

This year we decided to spend it alone. Over the years this celebration has palled. There are only so many street parties, fireworks displays, dinner parties, etc. that a person can get fired up about. It all seems to ‘same old, same old’.

The welcoming of 2013 seemed an appropriate time (although we did not know it at the time) to release old baggage, express apologies and create a space of forgiveness, love and laughter. It all happened rather spontaneously…looking back I can see how beautifully it was orchestrated by our hearts and souls.

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Three days of darkness and the expansion of self

I have been rather pleasantly surprised by the ease with which I am able to expand myself, to really feel myself as part of everything in my house. I know it sounds strange, but everything including the furniture is part of me, as it is in my reality.

I’ve not quite hit the stage where I can do so with people. I suppose it is necessary to practice within my own safe space before I attempt it further.

This is a state I imagine babies are in when they first incarnate. To them we are all one. They get to realise later that we are separate and it creates a bit of anxiety.