Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, in between the tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Tuesday, 28 June 2011

A warrior of the army of light

You’re gonna laugh…last night I found myself dressed like Xena, warrior princess.

Hehe…if ever there was a fantasy…hubby will be happy :) Actually…I’d love to see him dressed as a Roman soldier…must be the God of War ‘thingie’. Sends shivers down my spine. Give me a tough, rough diamond any day. Yum.

Right or wrong?

Something very interesting has been buzzing around me lately, actually for months now…and I’ve ignored it (as I am wont to do).

On one of the other ning websites that I belong to one of the bloggers was very mentally oriented in that he believed things were learnt in a specific way and, if you saw auras, they were exactly this way. In other words, it was a very rigid way of seeing things. Many were upset by his analogy and shot him down in flames. It wasn't what he believed in so much as the way he said it. I think this irritated most, including me. Live and let live.

We've had to learn in this very rigid way to keep the light alive as we moved through the cycle of negativity. But that time is past and old paradigm. Even so, is he wrong? I don’t think so, he has his own path to walk and this way of being and thinking suited him. Was he right or wrong trying to shove his way down others' throats, believing his way was the only way?  Difficult question and here we could start philosophising. Maybe his rigid way of thinking might have helped someone who decided that this was the way forward for them. We’ll never know.

What I do know is my first mentor taught me that everyone has a valid point of view and that nothing is right or wrong. It simply is. Each one of us has a different perspective. Never once did I hear him negate anything that his student told him. He would simply nod and ask a few questions.


I received this from a friend today. I thought it so relevant for us as we clear as much as possible. We all have someone that we have failed to forgive, some hurt that we hang on to and nurse, making us feel far superior to that being who hurt us.

This is the time to let go and let live.

Monday, 27 June 2011

An interesting night

I certainly had an interesting night last night.

I’ve been wondering lately why I’ve not actually felt Athena like I have been over the last three/four months. Since the super moon in March she’s always been a presence that I am aware of and yet now I don’t actually ‘feel’ her.

I’ve not worried too much about it as I know I’ll get an answer when I’m ready.

Sunday, 26 June 2011


I find myself wondering about the question of activism. There are accusations that fly around every so often that no-one is pulling their weight as far as being active in voicing our opinions to depose this and that regime or corporation.

From my humble perspective I view it this way.

Saturday, 25 June 2011

One eclipse left...and counting


So, in the last update I said that "I hope you took a deep breath whilst yer head was still above water because we are definitely going under again…deep see-diving into the depth of our core-self to make some final welds needed to fuse our two (polar) halves."

How are you faring?

Friday, 24 June 2011

Today is one of those blah days

Today is one of those blah days, as was yesterday. No energy and simply feel like I couldn’t be bothered.

I’ve put some upbeat music on to cheer myself up. I’ve spent a couple of hours in the garden watching the birds and the bumble bees, feeling very sorry for myself. One look at myself in the mirror this morning confirmed that I look exactly how I feel. All this clearing is really taking its toll.

Thursday, 23 June 2011


I woke this afternoon with the words ‘what you resist persists’ ringing in my ears. I knew I’d been dreaming, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember what. It’s not often that I dream during the day after a night shift.

It got me pondering why I was hearing these words. Has there been something I’ve been resisting? Stupid question…there is much…but which one exactly is this directed at?

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Summer solstice starts with some vooma

Yesterday evening I decided I’d had enough of transmuting – there’s only so much a body can take. I needed time out.

As we don’t have children to worry about any more, we decided to have a romantic dinner together and then go for a walk. We scrapped the walk, ‘cos it was raining but ended up having a bath together.


I’ve often wondered whether channeling is good or bad. I personally don’t have an opinion either way but to be truthful I’ve never been very comfortable with the idea of channeling myself.

I tried to channel with the help of my first mentor, but because it didn’t sit right with me I finally gave up.

In 2008 a friend started to push me to channel. For six months she would sit with me while I practised channeling. Again I gave up because it didn’t sit well with me.

Monday, 20 June 2011


I am feeling very humbled this morning. The outpourings of love and support I receive daily whether from spirit or earthly have moved me to tears.

I seem to be crying a lot lately…possibly more than my whole life put together…and that is saying something.

How to deal with Perpetrators of Darkness - a Call to Action

I read this blog today and it reminded me something I was taught years ago when my children were little. The woman that looked after them told me that when children had tantrums or reacted badly to something it meant they felt unsafe and fearful. She would then hold them lovingly in her arms until they stopped struggling. They would finally calm down once they realised they were safe and loved. I saw her in action many a time and it made a huge impression on me and I used this with my own children.

This is what I do all the time with people - I hold them energetically in a cocoon of love as though they were in my arms.

Sunday, 19 June 2011

Transmutation and my life

So here I sit wondering what next. I still feel a slight twinge from my right kidney every so often. They’re making sure I don’t forget about them. As if…

I want to thank everyone who replied to my blog about Darker Aspects of Myself and sent support, love and caring whether posted as a comment or a private message. I really appreciate it. A friend offered to send me distance healing for which I am grateful. She mentioned later that she’d had to go through a bevy of ‘doormen’ to get to me and it was quite intense. Haha…I know I’m well protected but didn’t realise how much. I suppose Athena has to make sure that I am, both physically and spiritually, otherwise all the time and effort spent on me is wasted if I expire before I should :)

The Divine Gift of Eclipse and Solstice- the stillness asks can you hold both?

After reading my blog this afternoon about integrating darker aspects I was pointed to this piece which I found answered a lot of questions I have about why this was happening now.
Enjoy reading it -

Saturday, 18 June 2011

Darker aspects of myself

After I wrote the blog this morning about the kidney pain, I decided to get up and have a shower and cleanse myself in preparation for the inner work.

I found that the pain had subsided considerably. Simply acknowledging that there was a problem had created an opening to release some of the fear stored in my kidneys.

I washed my hair and came back to bed to sit quietly with myself.

Shooting myself energetically

How often do we energetically shoot ourselves in the foot (or anywhere else for that matter)?

Yesterday I started to develop a slight ache in my back where the kidneys are. It started to grow in the night and this morning it is very painful.

Kidneys are the water balance in the body. Any problems represent fear. My feet are aching and my blood pressure has been quite low in the last few days since the lunar eclipse.

Mars, God of War

Did you know that I’m married to Mars, the God of War? Hotheaded, irreverent, doesn’t suffer fools gladly, the first to stand and defend those he feels needs his protection. Haha…only kidding…but it sure feels like it.

Hubby is a Piscean born in March under the sign of the God of War. As the Piscean Age draws to a close, I see him struggling with his natural inclination to knee jerk and go for the jugular.

Friday, 17 June 2011

Age of Aquarius

Age of Aquarius

Phare reminded me of this song when she uploaded songs from the musical 'Hair' in her blog.

I used to love this song as a child. When I was living in South Africa I went to one of the top astrologers there to get my natal chart done. He said he'd never seen such an Aquarian Aquarian before. No wonder I loved the song.

Thursday, 16 June 2011

A perfect moment of stillness and connection


I was waiting for the kettle to boil so I could make a cup of tea after my sleep this morning. I stood in the kitchen back door staring out at the garden marvelling at the lushness and the beauty of the flower blossoms this time of year.

Wednesday, 15 June 2011


You know, in the lead up to the lunar eclipse I decided it was time to release that which no longer serves me. I have done this before but this time I figured this month being so intense it would go deeper. Little did I know…


Shadow of the earth, the ides of June…full moon lunar eclipse June 15th 2011

Emotional eclipse time! Like a total eclipse of the heart, the shadow of the earth, will fully cross the lunar surface, this ides of June. This leads us into the solstice, a week later. It is a powerful time of year anyhow, when we review, how our year is taking shape and also amend, what needs to be shifted, in order to resemble what we envision, for the rest of our year. The total lunar eclipse leaves the Moon naked and vulnerable. She is willing us now, to find out what’s deep in our hearts and for us to, also bravely show the world, our vulnerability and naked selves. She is conjunct the north node of our destiny and, in joining forces on this point she is showing us truly, where we want to go.

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Moving on

I’m a bit melancholic today.

I seem to have cocked up big time in a friendship I thought was going so well…again. Yesterday I kept going back and forth wondering how it could have ended up this way and what could I have done differently.

Athena enveloped me in a warm embrace last night and we had a long chat. She said that each of us is a reflection of the other and there is nothing that could have been done to change what happened. We are assisting each other to clear out the sludge still remaining so that we will vibrate higher and higher.

Monday, 13 June 2011

Friendships - a channel from Athena

I am Athena, Goddess of War, Wisdom and Truth and I greet you in love and pleasure.

I come forward today to discuss friendships.

Each friendship that you create is assisting you on your journey. The friendship reflects that which you need to work on and also reflects how far you have come. The nature of your journey these days means that you are constantly moving on, finding new friendships and then moving again. It can be very disorientating and distressing, especially if you believe that you should be friends with a specific person forever, no matter what.

The real heroes - channel from Athena

I am Athena, Goddess of War, Wisdom and Truth and I greet you in love and pleasure.

I come forward today to talk about dissension in the ranks.

The negative side uses dissension amongst all of you to create division. Through division they help you focus on minor problems rather than see the larger picture. They divide you and through this division cause you to fight amongst each other, thereby conquering you without lifting a finger. They’ve been using this strategy for millennia. None of you can see this and so you fight on, each one believing they have the right way and everyone else is wrong.

Sunday, 12 June 2011

A warm encompassing smell and wonderful surprise

All day Friday and yesterday I could smell that warm encompassing homely smell my grandparents’ house used to have. Wherever I walked in my house I would get a whiff of it. This happens quite regularly – I will smell something I associate with a person that has passed over. When it first happened I asked what the reason was and was told that sometimes all we need is that comforting smell associated with that person to help us through difficulties. So we don’t necessarily need to ‘see’ them or ‘feel’ them to get the support that we need. Simply know that they are there.

Friday, 10 June 2011


This morning I woke up feeling so very tired and disorientated, having been pulled from a very vivid dream in which I was hiding from ominous beings who were human in form. All of them seemed to wear blue and yellow jackets. It reminded me a little of the mini series in the 80s called ‘’V”. I was fascinated with this series when I first watched it.

Thursday, 9 June 2011

Crazy woman

Moan, bitch, moan, bitch…groan.

My ego is taking her objections to the extreme.

She’s been slowly coming to the realisation that she’s not going to be in charge for much longer. That simply makes her mad and she has turned into a maniacal madman/woman.

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Implants, the New Moon and Your Manifestation Potential

This post resonated deeply within me, so much so I removed the implant (I've had a few of these removed in the past and didn't realise I still had another left). I felt a strange sensation above my nose and a brief flash of pain. My nose now has that strange sensation you get just before you develop a cold. Hehe...loads of water drinking for me today - I'm gonna be drowning.

The implant turned into a bluebird and flew away.

Cycling the Energy Part 2 - transcript

Please remember: you would need to do Part 1 as this is a follow on from that meditation:

We call upon the angels, the archangels, the ascended masters, our guides, gatekeepers and higher self. We ask that they assist us in keeping us in a safe space and that whatever happens will be for our own highest divine good. 

We call upon Archangel Michael and ask that he assists us as we throw our blue cloak of protection over us.

We call upon the Angels of Balance and ask that they assist us to remain balanced and centred.


As you might or might not know, war has been a part of my life for a while. Living in South Africa and Namibia as a youngster, we were in a ‘state of war’, surrounded by soldiers. This perception was fed by the propaganda of the South African government.  All young men were conscripted as soon as they left school at the tender age of 17 (or given dispensation to study for a degree and then conscripted once they’d finished). So every South African male was a warrior, whether in the army, navy or air force.

A call to arms - channel from Athena

I am Athena, Goddess of War, Wisdom and Truth and I greet you in love and pleasure.

I come forward today to make a call to arms.

Many lightworkers are moving between 5D and 3D, unsure what their call to service is as the layers are peeled away. Each one of you is connected with your higher self, who will lead you forward into battle. But this is a battle with a difference. In years past, battle meant death and destruction. These times are over, except for those 3D scenes still playing out.

Monday, 6 June 2011

An Intense Time

An intense time to be sure, as each of us is being umasked to reveal who we truly are. This leaves us feeling slightly disorientated and unsure.  And…it’s really triggering us in ways we never expected to be triggered. Phew…a maelstrom of emotions whirling around and touching each and every one of us, causing mayhem.

Years ago, I had a past life regression with a hypnotherapist friend of mine who does Life between Lives and takes you back to what happens between each incarnation. As she took me back through various lifetimes it needed to be done over a period of time.

Saturday, 4 June 2011

Processing Emotions

Processing is one of the very first tools I was taught when I started on this journey. It has been the most valuable tool I have in my arsenal. I highly recommend it. You can use it with any form of healing such as flower essences, reiki, massage, reflexology, EFT, etc. It does not have to be a stand alone tool, but over the years it has been the sole tool that I have used time and time again. I've then had body work done afterwards to reinforce the changes I have processed and to assist my body with the changes.

Friday, 3 June 2011

Blackbird and a new reality

Whilst sitting in the garden to get my daily fix of sun, a blackbird landed next to my lounger and started foraging for snails. She pulled them out of their shells and ate them. I’ve never seen this close up before – never knew they ate snails.

Anger - why it is important to process it

I was reading through Inelia Benz's website and came across this piece which so resonated with me.
Processing is a tool I have been using for years. It simply means getting in touch with the emotion, feeling (and allowing the tears or whatever is needed for release) and release it lovingly. The most important is to create a safe space around yourself when you do this so that whoever else is involved i.e. that to whom your anger is directed, is not harmed in any way. For ideas on how to create a safe space to go my website.

Thursday, 2 June 2011

First Assignment

Erk…rough night.

I felt good yesterday despite having worked the night before and feeling tired.

Went to bed at 8pm, I woke just before 3am to an excruciatingly painful head. It was so sore I felt nauseous. To top it all I was in a cold fever, shivers of energy running up and down my body.