I’ve spent an hour in the beautiful sunshine, feeling myself as the whole world. It has been fabulous weather here over the last four days…such a pleasure to feel the sunshine.
I think the head of the new ‘me’ has engaged, almost ready for its journey into the world. My cervix is tingling and I feel like I need to go to the toilet quite a bit as though the head is pressing on my bladder.
I closed my eyes for a while and slipped into meditation with the lovely sun warming me.
I found myself still lying flat on the ground with my sacral wide open and a spinning vortex…almost like a tornado but wider at the top…not long and narrow.
I wondered where hubby was in all of this. My connection to him has been strong although he is far away and experiencing a different reality. I was so happy to hear his voice on Friday night when he phoned…it brought him even closer.
The instant I thought about him I saw him above me in a similar position but he was hovering above facing me. The two vortices had joined to form a diamond shape with us two lying flat on either end.
What are we creating and dreaming?
Oh woah…this is special…I can feel the vortex running through each cell in my body…as with-out so with-in…as above so below.
My heart wooshed open and connect with his as we gazed into each other’s eyes. His eyes had changed colour…when he is happy and in love they become a sort of pale greenish/caramel…almost see-through.
All around us the wind was howling and again, as in a previous meditation during the integration with Azra, there were sparks of lightning firing off us and the vortices, but it didn’t bother us.
The buzz of energy was highly charged but extremely pleasurable. My throat opened and I started singing with happiness. He smiled and joined me. I’ve never heard hubby sing with heart and soul like he was. Again I saw the notes and numbers…and we seemed to be creating a large tube torus around us as though we were one entity.
Underneath this I could see my two aspects, male and female inside me and hubby’s two aspects, male and female held inside hubby. We were both triangles of energy.
Joined together were hubby, I and our relationship – once again a triangle. I saw our relationship as an entity that started to spin between us.
A bubble of laughter started forming in my chest and seemed to explode out of me and sent stars scattering out into the world around us. The excitement was tangible as we moved our hands together, the sizzle of lightning energy creating a ripple of light around us. As we came together, the vortex of energy sank into both us, and as it did so, my whole body lit up, as did his. It sent ripples of orgasmic energy throughout my body and felt like we were spinning into the universe.
That was when I slipped out of the meditation. My head felt like it was on fire. It’s calmed down now although still hurts a little.
Not quite sure what happened there…so I decided to take a walk…and as I was walking I started to see the pattern forming.
Hubby and I have not been connecting very much lately in the way that we have in the past. So when we make love that deep love making from the soul has not seemed enough. It was starting to bother me a bit and I asked for help to bring about a change.
Last weekend hubby said something along the lines of ‘As much as I enjoy making love with you, there seems to something not quite right.’
Hallelujah…no pushing on my part for him to have the epiphany.
I should have taken more note of it than I did...but maybe it’s good that I didn’t cos I would’ve tried to pre-empt in some way and ‘screwed’ it up. I knew something was going to happen to catapult us forward, because both of us were in agreement.
So we start with the swollen finger episode of hubby having to cut off his ring as it was stopping the flow of blood…very symbolic when we think of how sex has been viewed and experienced in our ‘old’ world. Even though hubby and I have moved forward and made the deep connection during lovemaking it wasn’t enough to take us to the next level. There was a block of some kind needing to be cleared before we could.
Then we have the water throwing episode from me…which was the catalyst for both of us to release the old way of thinking and being. It has released something very deep within both of us and catapulted us forward. The dismantling of one more thing from the old matrix.
Now I know many people view anger with a jaundiced eye…it is not a lightworker ‘thing’ to be angry and we should steer clear of it. Anger, or passion as I like to call it, does have a place in our world if used correctly/constructively because it gets the stagnant energy moving. But…if we are consistently angry and lose our temper or our cool regularly…it is merely a pattern of destruction.
From what I am experiencing over the last two days, it seems that hubby and I have moved past the barrier that was holding us back.
Woohoo…a reunion of epic proportions later today when he arrives back :-)