Whatever I write about seems to come back to bite me on the bum

I attended a Child Protection course very early this morning…very depressing the amount of abuse out there…not only with children but vulnerable adults and animals…those that cannot protect themselves.

Anyways…the lecturer was talking about all the services being part of the puzzle and interconnecting to form an umbrella of protection for children.

It made me sit up…once again I’m being shown the puzzles and how they fit.

There was a woman next to me who kept on exclaiming ‘Jesus Christ’ every so often when something quite distressing came up on the screen. After the tenth or eleventh or possibly the six-hundredth exclamation, I turned to look at her.

Whoa…talk about a guilt overlay. This talk was really pushing her buttons. But it wasn’t because she was an abuser or the abused…there was something standing to one side of her. I couldn’t quite ‘see’ what it was but I guess it had something to do with the guilt.

It distracted me somewhat and after a while I realised she was staring at me…haha…cos I was staring at her…well not at her but next to her.

It made me wonder if there was an aspect of her that was either one of those…it had to be something in a past life that made her react as strongly as she did.

Interesting…

Over the years I’ve been aware of these different aspects or issues popping up for people to take note of…mostly I’ve ignored it because otherwise I’d be in ‘cloud cuckoo land’ or committed somewhere. I’ve learnt to shove it to one side and become unaware…sort of throwing a cloak over it or shifting my sight/focus to the ‘real’ world.

It seems that this is no longer viable. Starting in September last year, the fairies came back into my life full force and I couldn’t deny they were there. Since then I’ve started to see things despite my ability to switch off or focus on the reality as we know it.

But…I don’t want to have this as one of my ‘specialities’…I like being an all rounder…haha…kinda like a Jack of all Trade and Master of None. Because then people start expecting you to deliver every time. I’ve often regretted letting people know that I can ‘see’ – firstly because it makes some uncomfortable as though I’m gonna see something I shouldn’t and secondly because some are eager to learn something about themselves that I might know.

I’ve been there seen it done it…people living their lives according to something I’ve said…which might have been in jest…

I could have done readings or some such but I don’t want to. I have enough on my own plate without delving into someone else’s life.

I’ve been wondering why it has become so prevalent and no matter what I do, it’s there and often catches me by surprise. I don’t think it is because someone needs to know something…I think it is more a training for me, to give me greater insight and because I’ve put it to one side, it is now demanding that I pay attention.

We are moving into a world where this will become the norm and the more of us that ‘live it and do it’ the more common it will become.

So I feel I shouldn’t push it to one side…okay, I know, I know…despite trying…I can’t.

At times I can feel the front section of my brain firing…I’d like to say it’s on all cylinders but I somehow don’t think so. At the moment as I am writing this and thinking about what I’ve seen lately…it’s going crazy. It’s not uncomfortable…merely a strange tingling sensation.

Everything I’ve learnt and forgotten is coming back to me through experiences and I’m having to dig into the recesses of my memories to find what I’ve learnt. But I don’t think it is just this life… I think these are memories of all of me…or rather as many of the ‘mes’ that I’ve integrated all crammed into my little ol’ brain and it seems so full that it cannot be contained any longer.

Anyways…going on to the blog I wrote last night about always wanting to be right.

Hmm…I caught myself doing this to hubby last night. Determined that he was wrong and I was right. What is it about us lightworkers that makes us so arrogant that we believe our way is the correct way? How many of us are surrounded by so-called sleepers – you see even that is judgemental.

How many of us are married or in partnership with sleepers and we look at them in pity or feel superior because they are not in on the secret that we know or are blinkered.

Arrogant…as arrogant as anyone else in the world.

I put my hand up – I’m one of them.

*Sigh*

Old habits die hard, don’t they?

I realised years ago that in my zealousness to ‘convert’ hubby I was as bad as some religions or cults. I finally figured out that I felt guilty and I saw it as a failure on my part that I wasn’t able to convert someone so close to me.

I’ve let most of this go…but somewhere there seems to be a little bit left.