For about half an hour this morning I could see and feel the beauty of the 5D world everywhere around me. I seemed to have lost contact with it lately and it made me pretty sad and...if I am honest…anxious. I was worried I’d done something wrong to find myself bouncing between the dense 3D and the disharmonious 4D. I kept on thinking 'when the time is right I’ll find my way back'…but in the back of my mind was the doubt that has niggled at me most of my life.
There is nothing like doubt to throw you off your game.
It was a relief to know the 5D world was still there. Still there in my heart and around me, I’d simply lost sight of it amongst all the debris surrounding me.
Basically it was a feeling that no matter what, how much doubt or any other negative emotion that is being thrown at me, this world is there waiting patiently. It hasn’t disintegrated or disappeared out of reach. I can tap into it whenever I feel I need to – almost like a quick shot of oxygen to help me on my way.
There is quite a bit I don’t understand, for example, why am I in the middle of this chaos again? I figure there is a reason and this is merely a perception…maybe the chaos is not really chaos but simply a different perspective. I walk true and straight, never losing sight of the fact that I am on the right road - although at times it can seem like I’ve taken a diversion. I must also never lose sight of the fact that there is always a good reason for the diversion.
I know I sound contradictory but yeah…that’s what is happening. A knowingness overlaid by doubt - a tug o’ war between the two. Once again it’s a pattern that needs balancing.
The restless feeling has never left. Sometimes it can be overwhelming and other times a gentle pulse. This makes me wonder if at times I am screaming at the closed door in front of me in frustration, with the open door behind me! It wouldn’t be the first time J
Blah! I’m just gonna stick my tongue out, pull a face and try n kick my own arse.