Years ago when my mentor first mentioned that everything is a reflection I never once believed him. I understood the concept mentally but emotionally I thought ‘pah, never’.
It took me years to finally realise that everything I dislike in my hubby is a reflection of what I dislike in myself. The penny dropped one day in 2002 when I was studying with the College of Vibrational Medicine. Our class was doing their year-end presentations and one of my classmates said something that has stuck with me ever since. She said that if ever someone irritates her, makes her angry, resentful or jealous she treats herself with the relevant flower essence remedy that she would otherwise have given to that other person.
It was one of those epiphanies that I have every so often, that are life changing. I decided to try this approach with my relationship. I used to accuse hubby of all kinds of things which in my eyes he was guilty of…one of the biggies being that he never ever worked on himself…and constantly seemed stuck in the same rut. He used to shout back that it always seemed to be ‘his fault’ and never mine. I'd get so frustrated…we were going in circles constantly never resolving the problem, neither prepared to give an inch. Me in my pig-headedness believed I was right…and weyho…he was reflecting that pig-headedness back at me.
I took note of his comment after this epiphany and realised that the universe trying to tell me that it was all my own stuff…he was merely reacting to my energy. Instead of blaming him I had to accept responsibility and claim the fault as my own.
It took a long time but those years of effort have certainly paid off. Treating myself and processing the negative emotion that comes up whenever someone does something to me, gave me the control and power over my own life that I was craving. Instead of being dependent upon another to change, I was taking the bull by the horns and doing it for myself.
Has this made hubby work on himself? No not at all. Nothing has changed in that department. What has changed is me and therefore my reality.
I have celebrated this regularly as it becomes more and more a concrete reality that this perspective is paying off. I am so grateful to my fellow graduate for this insight that has made a huge difference in my life.
Last night it was once again illustrated to me when I was discussing my dream with hubby. I said to him that I did not want to dream too powerfully what I wanted because then it would be negating his dream. It is me, him and our relationship which is a triad. He stopped me saying I should not to worry about him. If he didn’t like whatever I was doing he would say so. He is quite happy to be pulled along in the slipstream of my dreams.
I asked him what he thought about the sacred union travelling. He shrugged and said if it was meant to be, so be it, he has no argument with it.
Now I find this fascinating. I analyse and question and pick everything apart. Hubby doesn’t, he simply goes with it and if he doesn’t like it he stops it and does something different.
As I’ve ironed out the blatant boxing ring differences I saw between us, we have become similar and yet still remain opposites. Separately we are unique and powerful individuals but as one merged entity we are more than that. It makes me tearful when I think about it. But they are tears of happiness, it’s a dream I never thought would come true.
In my accepting him as he is, my reward is his acceptance of me. Again it was very, very strongly illustrated last night when I discussed moving to this place of purity that I keep seeing and making my essences. I asked if he would be happy to live there. He said of course he would because he’d be with me…and it would be in the great outdoors, which he misses. I mentioned that I was trying to make the leap and lift my vibration so that I could be on the same vibratory level as the 5D world we will be moving to, but was finding it difficult. He said we’d been worrying about our son and now that he was settled in a job, we could concentrate on our little world. I shouldn’t worry as it will all fall into place when the time is right.
I said I didn’t want to start making the essences until we were living in the ‘new place’. He said why not create a circle around myself and invite that pure energy of the future into the circle and create the essences then, instead of waiting.
Wow…who’da guessed he would say that. I hear myself in his words...it sounds suspiciously like me. Is this me talking to me?