Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, in between the tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Blimmin' heck

Debutante Ball - me n partner
Blooming heck, it’s cold out there. The sun is shining, so I decided to stick my toe out to get some sun…but my toe shrivelled up with alarm and so back inside I came.

I should’ve guessed it would be icy. The frost covering everything has made it white as though it’s snowed.

When I went to work on Friday evening for a short twilight shift I had to scrape the windscreen – first time this winter.

Hehe…hubby played football late yesterday afternoon for the first time in four weeks (they had a break over Christmas). When he arrived back, we sat and watched the last Sherlock. Oh my, when he stood up, the man groaned in agony. His lower body had seized up. Said it reminds him of his school days when, after a three month break, they’d start training…the agony of it. But…he is determined to keep fit and carry on. Good for him, nothing like a bit of exercise to help the body during these hard times of transmutation.

Hmm…I was going to write about something…what was it?

Ah yes…it seems lately that I don’t want to use meditation music when I meditate. I have an MP3 on which there are about 800 songs hubby downloaded for me. I have recently put it on shuffle and random songs come up. I am content to allow it to ramble as I meditate. Very strange as I’ve always had specific meditation music.

Is it a distraction? No…it puts me in a very good mood and I can feel my heart opening up…so I go with it.

On Wednesday morning last week I was pulled out of a deep sleep after a night shift to find myself an expanded version of me and at one with Mother Earth. I could feel all the rivers and streams running, the animals living on me and the ocean moving restlessly. I marvelled at the sensation. It grew stronger and stronger until the flow of love was so strong, I orgasmed. I was in love with everything.

This is true pleasure, the pure love of all with no separation. It gave me a great deal of insight into what 5D life is like. An opening of a memory to a state of BEing. It is nothing new…I’ve had this before. It is almost as though a part of me is stuttering to life, then shuts down until it coughs to life again. Almost like an engine that has lain idle for years and I’m trying to get it going again.

 I wondered this morning if I was being too distracted by the internet. My son and I were discussing how I used to bake bread and make pizzas. He wondered why I didn’t do it any more. Hmm…there is a lot I don’t do any more and it was slightly worrying so I asked.

The answer I received is the blogs I write are putting me in touch with myself and are necessary for my growth. When I asked about the distraction of other sites, the answer was the same. I discern what I need and what I don’t need. Does it matter if I don’t vacuum the house or bake bread? I do what needs doing.

It makes me focus on myself rather than on the outside world and through my connection with other sites we are exchanging energy. There is no harm in this at all. I know when to stop and when certain sites no longer hold anything for me.

Which made me wonder about LW…I’ve wanted to disconnect from there, but something keeps pulling me back. I know where there is great light, there is always an equal amount of dark. I have withdrawn quite a bit of my energy from there because I felt it wasn’t needed. I made an agreement with my HS that if I was meant to leave completely I would receive no messages. But each time I think to leave I get a message from someone.

I was slightly confused about my relationship with LW. I thought I’d outgrown it but there is something that is holding me there. When I asked this morning, I was told to stay and upload a blog on the odd occasion. Something about maintaining a presence of light…

I’ve been trying for years to get hubby to go dancing with me…I loved ballroom dancing when I was a teenager and on the odd occasion get to dance with someone who can. But he maintains he doesn’t have the rhythm and possesses two left feet. So what…it is the sheer pleasure of dancing with the flow of music that is important. Does it matter if you’re out of step?

Besides that…we would meld completely if he would get out of his head and into his body. I could whisk him around the floor without any effort…but he won’t. I used to love watching Strictly Come Dancing…but this year I found it really boring and couldn’t bring myself to watch.
Debutante Ball - being presented
to someone or another
I had a Debutante Ball when I was sixteen. My modelling teacher set this up. Hmm…actually it wasn’t wonderful. I found out from a really snarky ‘friend’ that the guy I was paired with hated dancing with me because my hands were sweaty and I was constantly shaking. Not something a shy 16 year old wants to hear.

I was talking about this with hubby one night…I remember my modelling teacher…who was a very glamorously well pampered older woman…telling my parents that it would be good for me to go and see a Burlesque show. It was held in a hotel and she sat next to me (my parents were there) and as we watched the show she talked about how the men were reacting and why. I didn’t find it odd at the time but now that I think about it…I am wondering why it was necessary. I think it was just after that that my parents moved me to another modelling school. Hubby thinks she was grooming me for ‘something’…well you can guess what that is. Maybe I should ask my mom…but I suppose it isn’t important.

Makes me wonder how different my life would have been if with all the different forks in the road that I’ve faced, I’d taken the alternate road to what I have. Another aspect of me has, but the conscious flag ship that is me in this body, hasn’t. All those experiences from all my other aspects, past present and future are here in me, each one with their own memories. At odd times I recall them, but there is only the memory with no emotion involved.

Haha…I‘ve just read what I’ve written…seem to have taken a walk all over the blooming place. Maybe I should just call this blog ‘Blimmin’ Heck’ J


Anonymous said...

You say `Blimmin heck' and I say `Crikey' ... you look so gorgeous in those photos ... you still are now of course ... however in your younger days you had a look of the Jacqueline about you... so glamorous!
I also know what you mean about sites ... I am enjoying playing in my sandpit these days and having playdates over at yours sometimes too.I feel that we share a cuppa and a slice of cake sometimes ... at others there is more the mood of a martini ..hahaha!
Hugs to you .. yes.. it is a tad freezy today isn't it .... stunningly beautiful though .. a bit like an ice maiden.
Speaking of ice maidens ... I have maintained my anonymity ... possibly :-)

Dorothy said...

You have done what I like to call a stream of consciousness post....it wandered wherever your thoughts took you...I like those kinds of rambling posts!
I have had the same questions about the time I spend on here instead of doing what I no longer or rarely do around the house. My inner answer was the same.
This has been the time I needed to be with me, do for me, expand me. Occasionally I get thoughts of hmmm, I don't pay any attention to all the stuff (baking, cooking, sewing, painting) that used to keep me so busy, maybe I should go do ..... Then, I go, Nah! I don't want to!
As I do my trolling on the internet, I visit sites that have something to offer towards that exploration of self. Recently I find myself deleting places that no longer do that for me, when I used to be so excited to visit them and see what was new!
I used to read all the messages on LW and loved and learned a lot from them (if it's the same place we are talking about), but I just don't feel drawn there now and gave up going last month. I got what I needed while I was there but guess I'm done. And some of the messages just give me big "NO!" feelings. I have searched out the messengers who post(ed) there that resonate with me and just go directly to their sites instead (like you).
Or, like anon. says, I stay and play in my own sandbox :D. Which I love!
Ahh dancing, in my heart I am an elegant and graceful dancer, but get no chance to practice that in the physical unless I dance around my living room by myself lol.
Love your younger photos, how poised and lovely you look!
The cold and snow has finally hit us too in the northeastern US, too. Brrr. Tis definitely winter, finally.


Karen-Pallas said...

Hehe...you are beautiful in your ice maidenly anonymity...dark glasses and all. We'll keep 'em guessing, eh?

It was a bit of glam that I was very uncomfortable with - a gangly clumsy teenager - sweaty palms and all :) I'd rather be horseriding and mucking out stables. Although I'm grateful for the skills I learnt in those days.

Jackie O - it reminds me of several remarks I received in those days that I looked like Jackie O - horrified the teenage me cos she was an old lady. Hehe...oh the frippery of youth.

I love the playdates idea...your sandpit is groovy man groovy.

Anyone for a martini?

Karen-Pallas said...

Yeah...I know what you mean about the 'moving on' - so for the time being I'm simply leaving the light on at LW.

I thoroughly enjoy and am more content these days to read the journey of others...it makes it more real that way. I think for me it is more a connection with another soul on their journey which is more important and how certain things affect that person.

One thing I've realised is that one little word or sentence in a blog can give so much insight...a light bulb moment.

I was getting caught up reading one blog and thinking of uploading it onto mine and then following to another and another and finally remembering that I had to upload the first one and trying to find my way back. My little notebook gets kinda grumpy with overwork so I land up going away to do something else to give her time to calm down and then forgetting what I was going to do.

I put it down to flipping in and out of different realities...figure the men in white coats might call it something else...hehe...

I'll join you in spirit dancing around the living room :)