Blimmin' heck

Debutante Ball - me n partner

Blooming heck, it’s cold out there. The sun is shining, so I decided to stick my toe out to get some sun…but my toe shrivelled up with alarm and so back inside I came.

I should’ve guessed it would be icy. The frost covering everything has made it white as though it’s snowed.

When I went to work on Friday evening for a short twilight shift I had to scrape the windscreen – first time this winter.

Hehe…hubby played football late yesterday afternoon for the first time in four weeks (they had a break over Christmas). When he arrived back, we sat and watched the last Sherlock. Oh my, when he stood up, the man groaned in agony. His lower body had seized up. Said it reminds him of his school days when, after a three month break, they’d start training…the agony of it. But…he is determined to keep fit and carry on. Good for him, nothing like a bit of exercise to help the body during these hard times of transmutation.

Hmm…I was going to write about something…what was it?

Ah yes…it seems lately that I don’t want to use meditation music when I meditate. I have an MP3 on which there are about 800 songs hubby downloaded for me. I have recently put it on shuffle and random songs come up. I am content to allow it to ramble as I meditate. Very strange as I’ve always had specific meditation music.

Is it a distraction? No…it puts me in a very good mood and I can feel my heart opening up…so I go with it.

On Wednesday morning last week I was pulled out of a deep sleep after a night shift to find myself an expanded version of me and at one with Mother Earth. I could feel all the rivers and streams running, the animals living on me and the ocean moving restlessly. I marvelled at the sensation. It grew stronger and stronger until the flow of love was so strong, I orgasmed. I was in love with everything.

This is true pleasure, the pure love of all with no separation. It gave me a great deal of insight into what 5D life is like. An opening of a memory to a state of BEing. It is nothing new…I’ve had this before. It is almost as though a part of me is stuttering to life, then shuts down until it coughs to life again. Almost like an engine that has lain idle for years and I’m trying to get it going again.

 I wondered this morning if I was being too distracted by the internet. My son and I were discussing how I used to bake bread and make pizzas. He wondered why I didn’t do it any more. Hmm…there is a lot I don’t do any more and it was slightly worrying so I asked.

The answer I received is the blogs I write are putting me in touch with myself and are necessary for my growth. When I asked about the distraction of other sites, the answer was the same. I discern what I need and what I don’t need. Does it matter if I don’t vacuum the house or bake bread? I do what needs doing.

It makes me focus on myself rather than on the outside world and through my connection with other sites we are exchanging energy. There is no harm in this at all. I know when to stop and when certain sites no longer hold anything for me.

Which made me wonder about LW…I’ve wanted to disconnect from there, but something keeps pulling me back. I know where there is great light, there is always an equal amount of dark. I have withdrawn quite a bit of my energy from there because I felt it wasn’t needed. I made an agreement with my HS that if I was meant to leave completely I would receive no messages. But each time I think to leave I get a message from someone.

I was slightly confused about my relationship with LW. I thought I’d outgrown it but there is something that is holding me there. When I asked this morning, I was told to stay and upload a blog on the odd occasion. Something about maintaining a presence of light…

I’ve been trying for years to get hubby to go dancing with me…I loved ballroom dancing when I was a teenager and on the odd occasion get to dance with someone who can. But he maintains he doesn’t have the rhythm and possesses two left feet. So what…it is the sheer pleasure of dancing with the flow of music that is important. Does it matter if you’re out of step?

Besides that…we would meld completely if he would get out of his head and into his body. I could whisk him around the floor without any effort…but he won’t. I used to love watching Strictly Come Dancing…but this year I found it really boring and couldn’t bring myself to watch.

Debutante Ball - being presented
to someone or another

I had a Debutante Ball when I was sixteen. My modelling teacher set this up. Hmm…actually it wasn’t wonderful. I found out from a really snarky ‘friend’ that the guy I was paired with hated dancing with me because my hands were sweaty and I was constantly shaking. Not something a shy 16 year old wants to hear.

I was talking about this with hubby one night…I remember my modelling teacher…who was a very glamorously well pampered older woman…telling my parents that it would be good for me to go and see a Burlesque show. It was held in a hotel and she sat next to me (my parents were there) and as we watched the show she talked about how the men were reacting and why. I didn’t find it odd at the time but now that I think about it…I am wondering why it was necessary. I think it was just after that that my parents moved me to another modelling school. Hubby thinks she was grooming me for ‘something’…well you can guess what that is. Maybe I should ask my mom…but I suppose it isn’t important.

Makes me wonder how different my life would have been if with all the different forks in the road that I’ve faced, I’d taken the alternate road to what I have. Another aspect of me has, but the conscious flag ship that is me in this body, hasn’t. All those experiences from all my other aspects, past present and future are here in me, each one with their own memories. At odd times I recall them, but there is only the memory with no emotion involved.

Haha…I‘ve just read what I’ve written…seem to have taken a walk all over the blooming place. Maybe I should just call this blog ‘Blimmin’ Heck’ J