So, where to start with creating love

So where to start with creating love?

I am going to write as though you have a partner.

Foreplay for sex is not merely that which happens in bed before penetration. Foreplay and love happens throughout your day. Living in love and happiness.

From hubby’s perspective: Love your wife as though she is your greatest gift. Do little things to make her happy. Write a cheeky or loving note and put it in her purse, so when she is in the supermarket she finds this unexpected gift that will make her think of you. Buy her flowers for no reason at all except to show that you love her. Or simply hug her. Talk to your wife with respect and treat her like a lady.

From my perspective: Any reaction from your wife that is unfavourable means there is something within you that she has reacted to. 

To women – thank your partner and appreciate him for doing something…even if you think he has done a terrible job. There is no greater uplifter than gratitude from your partner for something that you have attempted.

From both of us: Do things together and have fun while doing it. Even housework can be fun…play and be like children. Giggle and do silly things…as though you are teenagers again. 

And if your partner initially looks at you as though you are mad…look at it this way. If you partner suddenly suggested something completely out of your sphere of comfort…what would you do?

Creating an intention is the best way to approach this. Create the intention that you will get an opening needed, then let it go and wait for that opening that will give you a chance to do what you want to do.

All of these things will get the energy between you flowing rather than stagnating. They are simple and yet so effective. Feeling gratitude toward one another, no matter how small, also contributes toward the flow.

If you have children work your way around it…but do so with love and humour. Getting angry simply spirals you back down.

Not all couples are on the same page when it comes to raising children. One parent might not be quite as strict as another. It doesn’t matter. Simply by creating an intention that balance will be achieved, whether your partner is on board with this or not, it will be achieved. If not, have a look once again at your energy.

What is blocking the creation of this intention in your energy?

If your wife/husband always has the children around as an excuse to avoid intimacy with you, what is the energy within you telling you?

A very effective technique to use is EFT Emotional Freedom Technique. If you don’t know it, have a look on YouTube, there are plenty of videos about it. You can use it anywhere any time. But you have to be totally and brutally honest with yourself. None of what is happening is outside of you…it is all a reflection of what is inside. The universe has no judgement either way. If your energy asks for something, it will deliver exactly what you are putting out.

If you feel that it is not yours, take a look and see if you are tapping into the collective. If so have a look at my page about Empathic Transmuters about how to work with this.

Basically you have to get the energy flowing between you and your partner.

There is no possibility of creating love if the two of you fall into bed at the end of an exhausting day, not having spent any time together or acknowledged each other in any way. What kind of sex are you having? Wham bam thank you ma’am and the two of you turn over and go to sleep.

If your partner constantly takes from you, again it is your energy that is causing this reaction.

Yes, life is hectic and you probably have two million things to do in the day…but this is something you have created. Time to change it if you feel you want, but don’t expect it to happen instantly. Take baby steps and don’t give up.

You are not expected to spend hours and hours doing tantric sex. That is not being asked of you at all. What is being asked of you is to honour, respect and love your partner to the best of your abilities and once you do this the love will grow. Ignoring it and pushing it to one side will create more of this, until eventually you are two ships passing in the night.

Believe me, I’ve been there, seen it and done it. I had a very difficult time looking at myself and seeing what I was projecting out into my relationship. It depressed me totally, but eventually I picked myself up and started to create the change I wanted, which took a concerted effort on my part. But I managed to change the energy hubby and I were wallowing in and as this changed, he became more receptive and started doing little things for me as I did little things for him.

We have now reached the stage where it is a pleasure for us to give and receive from each other, thereby keeping the flow of loving energy going.

From an energetic point of view…can you imagine two porcupines of energy living in a house? These two people are constantly prickly about what the other is doing to them, without realising that their energy is interacting with each other and their children. Actions speak louder than words…and so does energy. So you are not only interacting with each other…but passing on these lessons to your children.

You keep shooting spikes or arrows of energy at your partner because you are angry, resentful or jealous (or insert whatever energy you feel is appropriate here). That arrow pierces your partner and enters his/her energy field. What does it do? It creates a link between the two of you that is angry, resentful or jealous. And so the two of you keep this link open by constantly having the same energy moving between you, until it becomes a highway. This is then reflected in the synapsis of the brain where the same highway is created. What happens within the energy field, happens within the body.

Instead send your partner love. Initially it might be a small drop that you feel because by now you probably dislike them with a vengeance :-)…but it is a start. You will be rewarded if you keep at it.

That small drop turns into many drops until it is a trickle, then a stream until finally it is a river. You are bathing your partner in love...and the rewards you reap from this...hehe...