Many times the question is asked…how do I create a relationship of love and harmony, especially when it seems that there is no possibility of this even occurring?
I know from my own experience that it is possible.
My hubby has, all our married life – until recently, been closed minded to what I did. He supported me in my adventures as long as I did not involve him. He was what I’d call totally unenlightened.
I finally figured it out…I had to accept him as he is and not place expectations upon him of what I wanted…rather I had to let him find his own path. Hubby is a very strong person so there was no way I could manhandle him into what I wanted him to do…it descended into arguments and sulks for days, sometimes weeks.
I decided to come at it from a different angle. I accepted that he was the way he was, so I approached him from the ‘sex’ angle. All men love sex… :-)
Let’s face it…normal sex can be boring after years with the same partner and to spice it up people try all kinds of things…none of it fulfilling. It gives you a brief high until the next time when you need another orgasmic high to make you feel better.
In our 3D world there is a general attitude in men believing that they have to have sex all the time otherwise they get what is called ‘lovers balls’. Leering at women and their bodies is all part and parcel of it. It is something that is passed down from generation to generation. And women have bought into it.
This old sexual matrix is falling apart and in its place a new matrix is being created.
Old standard sex is no longer hold an appeal. Well, put it this way…for the majority it might…but for some of us it is quite stale which is where tantra or tao or karezza come in.
And again these no longer holds the same relevance for us as it used to. We are moving past this…the new energy and new world is demanding this. It is pulsing us to move deeper and deeper within to find the sacred loving that we know exists but have yet to experience. BEing in the moment and intuitively moving with the flow.
The sexual energy is the energy of creation. We use this energy to create what we want and it doesn’t necessarily have to be through sex. It is the same energy that runs through all of us and gives us life. We have used this energy to create the 3D world that we live in these days. Understanding that it is all energy helped me a great deal…even when I was miffed because something had happened that I didn’t like…and I blamed hubby. Accepting responsibility for my energy went a long way towards the creation of love and harmony that I currently live in.
Hold on to the dream, but be practical as well. Find the balance between your male and female aspects within. You need both of them to negotiate the new world. When you are making love with an unawakened human…imagine that your energy is filling them with love.
Don’t manipulate or force it upon them. Allow it to flow through you and into them without any expectations. Placing conditions upon your loving energy will cause a reaction within both of you that might not be a good one.
It takes patience and love. Slowly but surely I saw the difference and grew in confidence. There were times when I was over-confident and it came back to bite me on the bum. The two of us would be flung to far sides of the room (figuratively) and would not want to be in each other’s company, let alone make love.
So what if you fall back into the standard sex, it doesn’t matter…and don’t beat yourself up about it. It is all a learning curve, mistakes happen. You are allowed to make mistakes…but don’t simply give up and lose interest.
If you and your partner are not quite harmonious in each other’s company, take it slowly and don’t expect instant changes. Whenever there is a negative reaction, take a look at your energy. If you start with your own energy and work on that everything else will fall into place.
For example, if your partner will not even consider anything other than normal sex…or if they don’t want sex at all…look at how you feel about sex. Do you have hidden doubts or fear? Address that and see what happens next time. Don’t feel disappointed at the rejection you might receive or blame them…it is simply your energy telling you what you need to look at.
This goes for those that don’t have a partner. If you are having a sexual encounter with someone that you are not in a relationship with…it is possible to have a good sexual encounter, especially when you believe in yourself and are totally in control of your energy. You could blow his/her mind and open them up to something they’d never have considered before :-)
If you are in a relationship you will eventually find that once you get it right and all is good, you will move up in frequency - there is no place for ‘old standard sex’…you know those fabulous quickies in the heat of the moment.
Hubby and I have had many years of experimentation and now in the last few months, we find that if we fall back into the standard sex curve…it burns us – literally. We find it uncomfortable and we have to stop. That is simply because where we are there is no leeway, we have to move on, not fall back into an old comfortable and very unfulfilling way of lovemaking.
It is an old mind-set that is still lurking within both of us that needs to be re-set but it is not something that we have paid too much attention to…until this morning. Yikes man, this was not slight burn like in the past…this was more like a flame thrower…
Talk about a definite ‘no no’.
Which brings me to the blog that I wrote with the help of Ba’shiba during May about ejaculation in Trumpeting and other things.
When a man ejaculates during orgasm, he is losing his life force of millions of sperm in one go, which represents weeks of work by the body to create. From a scientific point of view the semen contains 90% fluid and 10% solids much of which is calcium and phosphorus. These and other substances are the same content in the brain. So losing it represents a great deal of hard work from the body once again to create more. And honestly, unless you are trying to make a baby, it is a waste because it goes nowhere…thus the man loses a lot of energy for no reason at all.
What could be happening instead is that the spermatozoa are re-absorbed into the man’s system thus giving him back his life force.
There is a belief that because there is an exchange of energy between the couple, a woman gets more active like a man and a man wants to sleep and be quite like a woman after sex. Hmm…both should be energized…that is the point of having sex. It is health-giving rather than health-taking.
But…I am jumping ahead of myself. Let us simply concentrate on the fact that we are in the process of creating a different world by laying a new sexual loving matrix…and we can all be part of this process.