Well, didn’t June start with a whopper?
Shaken, buffeted, bounced around and unceremoniously dumped…that is how I feel at the moment. I lift a shaking hand to smooth down my bird-nest hair and notice that I am full of bruises and cuts…etherically.
Last night hubby and I had a major argument. We’ve not argued too much lately…little disagreements that are sorted quickly. But this…really rattled me…but even so I slept like the dead last night. I woke this morning thinking, ‘I can’t any more. I am so tired’.
It seems we are being stripped (once again) and encouraged to let go of that which we call familiar.
It has been demanding that hubby and I change our way of relating to each other and this includes our lovemaking. Sheesh…there is nothing subtle about this required change.
As you know our bodies are like the universe, full of stargates, portals and wormholes. There are certain ‘old’ portals that our bodies used to contain that are now closed…slammed shut with a deafening crash. So as a result we’ve been thrashing around in the resultant aftermath trying to figure out where we are going and how to adapt to these changes.
Everything that used to suit us has now become a definite ‘no-no’. If I ignore this, there is a whiplash of energy that has me reeling. I feel lost…and irritable…and stressed. I am so out of my comfort zone these days. Just when I thought we had it all sorted, this ‘new’ demand comes along. I know what I need to do but it is in the recesses of my mind and body and has been hidden away for eons. I have yet to find which cupboard it is in, then find the key and finally unlock it.
Which means…change…yeah…change - again.
Sometimes I’d like to run away and hide, the pressure seems too much…but I suppose if I wasn't up to the job, I wouldn’t have this remit. I have certainly given myself something that stretches me…