Well, didn’t June start with a whopper?
Shaken, buffeted, bounced around and unceremoniously dumped…that
is how I feel at the moment. I lift a shaking hand to smooth down my bird-nest
hair and notice that I am full of bruises and cuts…etherically.
Last night hubby and I had a major argument. We’ve not
argued too much lately…little disagreements that are sorted quickly. But this…really
rattled me…but even so I slept like the dead last night. I woke this morning
thinking, ‘I can’t any more. I am so tired’.
It seems we are being stripped (once again) and encouraged
to let go of that which we call familiar.
It has been demanding that hubby and I change our way of
relating to each other and this includes our lovemaking. Sheesh…there is
nothing subtle about this required change.
As you know our bodies are like the universe, full of
stargates, portals and wormholes. There are certain ‘old’ portals that our
bodies used to contain that are now closed…slammed shut with a deafening crash.
So as a result we’ve been thrashing around in the resultant aftermath trying to
figure out where we are going and how to adapt to these changes.
Everything that used to suit us has now become a definite ‘no-no’.
If I ignore this, there is a whiplash of energy that has me reeling. I feel
lost…and irritable…and stressed. I am so out of my comfort zone these days.
Just when I thought we had it all sorted, this ‘new’ demand comes along. I know
what I need to do but it is in the
recesses of my mind and body and has been hidden away for eons. I have yet to
find which cupboard it is in, then find the key and finally unlock it.
Which means…change…yeah…change - again.
Sigh
Sometimes I’d like to run away and hide, the pressure seems
too much…but I suppose if I wasn't up to the job, I wouldn’t have this remit. I
have certainly given myself something that stretches me…
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