A very interesting day yesterday with regard to family - our
daughter and my mother.
Both loving kind generous strong and caring women…but…
My mother and father had a difficult marriage of 30 years.
Mom had always said from the day she got married (which she had to because she
was pregnant with me), she regretted it. Their marriage sorta deteriorated from
day one.
My dad was old fashioned and believed that my mother’s place
was in the home, and she has no business being out and about because she has to
be there at his beck and call in other words…very controlling. My mother
finally rebelled and there were a lot of violent arguments.
Neither of them have resolved their issues with each other.
My dad seems to have mellowed with his view to women…or maybe he only felt that
way with my mother.
So now our daughter is in a relationship…my mother sees
shadows where there are none. She is projecting her own experiences and keeps sending our daughter emails about how
things can turn sour, etc. and she thinks she is being helpful and caring. It has upset our daughter. I have told her to let
it go…until yesterday when my mother sent another slightly inflammatory email…and I saw
RED...the same red a mother tiger would feel when her cub is being attacked. The controlling side of myself popped up...something I once again need to look at.
A spate of emails later (with me as the mediator) we have
resolved it. Sometimes the universe nudges things to the surface that makes us
uncomfortable but it is necessary to deal with it. My mother knows about energy
work, but I am not sure whether she does it any more.
Her second marriage had so much potential to be beautiful.
She married a very loving and generous man – so opposite to my dad…and yet
maybe there are aspects of my dad in him that I don’t see. But because my mother has major issues with men in general…as you can imagine…it
slowly deteriorated. My stepdad is extremely patient with my mother and so she
had ample opportunity to work on her issues with men in general…but didn’t.
And so now she is trapped in a marriage that once again
doesn’t satisfy her, simply because her inner energy will not allow her to…and
is projecting this onto our daughter’s situation.
I dearly love my mother as she has so many good traits...but it can be so hard to see her making her life so miserable when she doesn't have to.
The circumstances we attract to ourselves, eh?
And it can at times make me feel guilty that hubby and I are
in such a good space while all around are struggling. Something I have yet to
address...once again.
P.S. I do believe that these two women represent inner aspects of myself that need resolving. There are portions of me that berate other portions of me...its a fine line between pessimism and optimism...and possibly pessimism wins hands down at times.
The vulnerability that my mother sees in our daughter, is merely an aspect of herself that she finds vulnerable and wants to protect...and the dragon that our daughter sees in my mother is her inner dragon berating her.
It's been an inner time of reflection for all three of us...three generations of women releasing that which holds us back.
The vulnerability that my mother sees in our daughter, is merely an aspect of herself that she finds vulnerable and wants to protect...and the dragon that our daughter sees in my mother is her inner dragon berating her.
It's been an inner time of reflection for all three of us...three generations of women releasing that which holds us back.
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