Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, in between the tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Interesting day with regard to family

A very interesting day yesterday with regard to family - our daughter and my mother.

Both loving kind generous strong and caring women…but…

My mother and father had a difficult marriage of 30 years. Mom had always said from the day she got married (which she had to because she was pregnant with me), she regretted it. Their marriage sorta deteriorated from day one.

My dad was old fashioned and believed that my mother’s place was in the home, and she has no business being out and about because she has to be there at his beck and call in other words…very controlling. My mother finally rebelled and there were a lot of violent arguments.

Neither of them have resolved their issues with each other. My dad seems to have mellowed with his view to women…or maybe he only felt that way with my mother.

So now our daughter is in a relationship…my mother sees shadows where there are none. She is projecting her own experiences and keeps sending our daughter emails about how things can turn sour, etc. and she thinks she is being helpful and caring. It has upset our daughter. I have told her to let it go…until yesterday when my mother sent another slightly inflammatory email…and I saw RED...the same red a mother tiger would feel when her cub is being attacked. The controlling side of myself popped up...something I once again need to look at.

A spate of emails later (with me as the mediator) we have resolved it. Sometimes the universe nudges things to the surface that makes us uncomfortable but it is necessary to deal with it. My mother knows about energy work, but I am not sure whether she does it any more.

Her second marriage had so much potential to be beautiful. She married a very loving and generous man – so opposite to my dad…and yet maybe there are aspects of my dad in him that I don’t see. But because my mother has major issues with men in general…as you can imagine…it slowly deteriorated. My stepdad is extremely patient with my mother and so she had ample opportunity to work on her issues with men in general…but didn’t.

And so now she is trapped in a marriage that once again doesn’t satisfy her, simply because her inner energy will not allow her to…and is projecting this onto our daughter’s situation.

I dearly love my mother as she has so many good traits...but it can be so hard to see her making her life so miserable when she doesn't have to.

The circumstances we attract to ourselves, eh?

And it can at times make me feel guilty that hubby and I are in such a good space while all around are struggling. Something I have yet to address...once again.

P.S. I do believe that these two women represent inner aspects of myself that need resolving. There are portions of me that berate other portions of me...its a fine line between pessimism and optimism...and possibly pessimism wins hands down at times.

The vulnerability that my mother sees in our daughter, is merely an aspect of herself that she finds vulnerable and wants to protect...and the dragon that our daughter sees in my mother is her inner dragon berating her.

It's been an inner time of reflection for all three of us...three generations of women releasing that which holds us back.

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