Hubby told me last night, very gently, that I was telling him what to do. If it wasn’t my way, then it was wrong.
I could feel myself going into defensive mode, ‘Me? Since when? I stopped doing that years ago.’
Shock set in, then disbelief, and finally wallowing pity.
‘Don’t take it personally,’ he said, ‘but you did ask the question and so I am telling you the truth.’
Finally he added, ‘It doesn’t bother me, I simply let it go.’
Yikes…the truth can hurt sometimes…but it needed to be said. Sorta like skipping along happily and totally oblivious to all else except yourself, only to fall into a dark hole you never noticed and hitting your head really hard.
This morning I can see what he is talking about.
Initially, I was wary about this new entity in hubby’s body – not sure about it. Then I became comfortable with the idea and then finally WOOHOO set in – cos now we can DO things together.
Of course I completely forgot about the fact that there has only been a few short months (and a few short visits over the previous 8 months) for the entity and body to get used to each other, whereas I’ve had 50 years to drive my body insane. In my enthusiasm I was telling him what to do.
AND…even though we are twins, he still has his own path to walk…we are not joined at the hip or anywhere else for that matter. We are individuals in our own right and are of course here to experience as individuals. So instead of stepping back to give him space…I move up close and take control.
Bless you, hubby, for your understanding…and being brave enough to tell me.
The difficulty is not acknowledging that he is right or saying sorry, but in forgiving myself.