I’ve been in a quietly contemplative mood these last few
days.
I almost feel as though I have slowed down and can feel each
heart beat. I know it is merely a feeling as working yesterday I still managed
to do everything I normally do…and then some. I am functioning and interacting as I should
but…
It is this feeling once again of being fully embodied in two
places as once. Not quite a split but more an awareness.
I’d created an intention earlier in the week that more of
the feminine energy will be downloaded and tapped for it, meditated, visualised
it and surrendered to it. I must admit it sorta stumped me what a true fully
embodied feminine energy would be like, but I did the best I could. Just like
most of us have no idea what a fully embodied masculine energy is.
So it has been gestating within me and has had me focused
inward.
I can feel something building, growing within and gently
filling me up, but can’t quite put a finger on it or describe it. My darling
hubby offered me a massage last night…but I was not in the space to accept it.
Sorry, baby.
So I climbed into bed and read my book…yeah I am reading
again. Strangely enough – The Quest
by Wilbur Smith…very esoteric :-)
Funnily enough my blog sent me a copy of my post called
Giving Birth that I did on 7 April. Said I’d uploaded it yesterday. Eh? That
was when I knew something was up.
This morning I am still inwardly focused and withdrawn. I
meditated once again and was shown my digestive system…once again with this. It
seems it is a carry over from Australia.
Today I will be fasting. I could see that only water would
pass my lips and maybe tonight have some fruit. Mango has been my fruit of
choice for ages now. It soothes my body and makes me feel good and it is such a
happy fruit. I could see that as I fasted today my digestive tract started to
glow and everything that is stuck within it, will be dislodged and released.
Erk…I can imagine what that means!! My own colonic irrigation supplied by my
body :-)
This is a strange thing for me. I love my food and never
fast, unless I am ill and don’t feel like eating, or simply am not hungry. But I
have never consciously done a fast…hence the question of whether I can actually
have something tonight – fruit is the answer. That is simply one of my own
fears coming up.
And so through the clearing and cleansing I will be able to
embody more of the energy. I could see my kidneys. They were glowing too, but
when I focused on my liver it didn’t look so good at all. They assure me that
this is okay as my liver is working to clear the toxins and will eventually
receive the benefit. Strange, I’d have thought my kidneys would also be
slightly overwhelmed by the cleanse.
And…I was told no yoga tonight. What? I was so looking
forward to it. But no, they are adamant. It seems that my body will not be able
to cope with the fasting, the influx of the energy and yoga. I’d have thought
it would support it but then again on reflection the yoga can be quite
ferocious, especially the fire breath!!
Haha… and I had happened upon Life Heart and Soul's blog Spiritual Eating-What Food Is For You. Ookay…here we go with the synchronicity again.
So here I am sitting, so at peace and something is stirring (and no...it is not my intestines...hehe).
It feels wonderful and very…transformative is all I can think of. It is making
me slightly tearful as I focus on it. It is like greeting an old friend I never
knew was missing. The joyful reunion and acknowledgement of that part of
myself that’s been missing for so long.
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