Athena has asked me to write this…so I think that this is meant for me as much as anyone else :-)
We are what we believe. What we believe is our truth…and therefore with these beliefs have created our world.
There is no getting away from it.
If you believe the world is harsh…then harsh it is.
If you believe that relationships don’t work…then they don’t work.
If you believe in conspiracies…then everywhere will be conspiracies.
How much of our energy do we give away with these beliefs that we claim are true?
We all bemoan the fact that change is difficult – and so it is - because we believe it.
Think about the beliefs you held one, two or ten years ago. How differently do you feel these days?
This is as it should be…there is no right or wrong.
But the time is here when we manifest what we believe instantly…no time lapse. This in itself is a good thing. It will show us what old outdated beliefs we are harbouring.
Now to the change of the beliefs held within.
It is a process of changing a habit. How many of us have tried to change a habit only to give up saying it is too hard. Is it?
If, for example, there is a problem between you and another person, ask yourself whose energy is creating this antagonism? If your energy is involved in this…you are as responsible as the other person. Once your energy field is clear, there is nothing for the antagonism to attach to.
Have you ever noticed that someone who is quite feisty and overboard, has been different in the company of someone else? The reason is that the other person has no issues which rise to the surface to create the ruckus between them…and yet with you there is always a ruckus.
Our beliefs lead us to believe that it takes a while to make the changes. It takes a great deal of courage to make these changes.
A very fine example is hubby and I.
For years we were on the opposite side of the boxing ring. Amongst our many issues one of them was we couldn’t agree how to raise our children. I was all for alternative education and he didn’t understand this. He kept asking what was wrong with ‘normal’ schooling. I stood my ground, but he wasn’t happy. A few years later, he conceded that the decision was a good one.
But still we fought on. I was more lenient and he was very strict. We were constantly at loggerheads. I blamed everything and I mean everything on him…and being the obliging man that he is and having been brought up with the belief that as the man, it is his duty to take all the crap on his shoulders, he did.
I was also a tough hard and cynical woman…very masculine, having been brought up by my mother to be independent. She always said to me that I should never depend on a man, like she did as she was trapped in a marriage she couldn’t afford to get out of.
Hubby was touchy feely and I hated it. I remember on one occasion storming off to the shops grumbling about the fact that he was constantly touching me. The idea of having a massage horrified me…too touchy feely. My how things have changed :-)
Yeah…we went through a really bad patch where I was ready to pack my bags and leave. We didn’t communicate much and for more than two years seldom had any intimate relations.
I kept on working on myself and ignoring him. It wasn’t a happy time…but I can see nowadays that it was a necessary time for both of us. We needed time out to work on our own stuff in our own way without interference. Much of it was coloured by past life stuff and as I worked through this the energy within me was cleared and therefore it stopped being an issue between us.
I am not sure what changed. I think the turning point was in 2001 when hubby was made redundant and we moved to the town we are living in now.
It slowly dawned on me over a period of time, that much of the problems we were experiencing were created by my belief structures. I started to experiment with the energy…it was hard because every time I thought I’d got it right, something would happen and it felt like I had to start all over again.
I came to realise that it was pretty much like training an animal. By this I don’t mean that either of us were ‘animals’ that needed training, but habits and reactions were part of the animalistic side of us…and this needed changing. It was careful and delicate work. Yes, it took a while.
The same as training an animal…you cannot expect them to pick it up instantly…the same way it took me a while to make the changes within me that had become a habit during this life…and probably many lifetimes emotions were reinforcing it.
It takes perseverance and patience with yourself - the other person is your thermometer which lets you know how you are doing.
Slowly I started to see results. By changing my beliefs about our relationship, the antagonistic energy started to disappear and in its place was love. It wasn’t easy…there were times when I looked at him and could happily have carved his heart out of his chest, or used his face as a dart board.
When I caught myself doing this, I would use EFT to tap this away and change my thought form. If there is no energy behind the thought form it has nothing to hold on to and this makes it easier to change the synapsis within the brain.
We are literally hacking our way through the jungle to create new paths of being. The old highway will eventually fall into disrepair and slowly disappear.
It takes strength and courage to face up to this part of yourself…believe me I know this…but it is worth it and the rewards that I am reaping these days have made the hard work well worth it.
I am not saying that all relationships will turn out this way. What I am saying is this…
If your relationship is meant to be it will be…but if not, the two of you were together for a reason. Have you learnt and understood that lesson? The parting should not be antagonistic or painful. If it is, then you inside yourself are harbouring these emotions.
I often get asked when someone will meet their one true love. How do you know you haven’t? They might be there with you and you are ignoring them, because you have a set idea of how they should act and they are not conforming with your beliefs. Our beliefs can stunt our growth.
If you are single and wondering where your one true love is – what is inside of you that is stopping you from drawing this to you. I get told regularly, ‘But I am working on myself constantly…I am ready.’
Erm…really…then why have you not drawn that person to you...or maybe you have and you cannot see it?
Do not dismiss anyone simply because they do not fit in with your idea of how ‘true love’ should be. True love in itself is not always easy. True love is a mirror image of you and will bring up all your worst nightmares. Imagine you and your true love as dark and light…he is your dark to your light and you are his dark to his light.
And I am talking about physical true love…where the two of you are physically with each other…living together or simply dating. It is the little things that irritate like
Does he leave the toothpaste lid off? Does he put the toilet seat down? Is he messy?
You may laugh but it is these little things that can grow into something large and become that great big elephant in the room that you wish would go away.
It takes compromise on both parts. If you within yourself are ready to take the step to compromise and you feel it deep within you…then compromise will be made.
Sheesh…I seem to have written a book here.
Don’t take my word for any of this…follow your heart and your beliefs…they are there for a reason and you need to figure out what that reason is. This is simply my story…take it or leave it.
But I do want to stress this…everything in your life is your creation…there is no two ways about it.
Even during the hard times hubby and I had something to offer the relationship. Now that we have cleared a great deal of the crap we have both brought to the relationship things that are beautiful. He might not be ‘spiritual’ in any way shape or form, but does that make him any less of a lightworker? What defines a lightworker?
So take a look at your partner and start with the little things to be grateful for and love him/her. For in the acceptance and loving you will create something very beautiful. And don’t we all deserve something beautiful?
If your instant thought is ‘that won’t happen with us,’ what belief is your truth?