Yesterday afternoon…a deep seated longing to be back Home suddenly hit me like a bolt of lightning out of the blue.
I was so tired of having to decide what to eat or drink, putting clothes on or taking them off, paying bills, going to work, having to shower or bath, what is my next move going to be, or worry about what soap is good for my skin, etc.
All I wanted was to be able to go for a swim in the beautiful waters that would nurture me and wash me when I felt I needed, or pluck a fruit from a tree that miraculously would be there when I was hungry, or lay in the grass staring at the sky soaking up the sun…in other words no obligations, no worries – simply being in the moment and therefore in that divine space, where whatever you need is there.
I felt so grief stricken and melancholic again…but this time it was for that place called Heaven that I vaguely recall.
I cried for ages in between wondering why I was suddenly feeling this deep deep soul longing. I am content and happy...where did this come from?
This morning I read Lisa’s latest blog Watering your garden with tears of desire and it hit me between the eyes. Indeed we are watering our gardens with our deepest desire. Believe me when I say that yesterday’s longing was the strongest heart/soul desire that I have ever experienced.
This all hinges on my feelings lately that I want to live in a beautiful and harmonious community of love and my restless need to find it.
Maybe I am getting closer in resonance and all these little longings I am feeling are part and parcel of getting me there.
It makes me feel better now that I understand. I was wondering if I had slipped back into some strange twilight episode.