What to say

What to say? I think this is going to be a short blog…but then again I tend to waffle…so maybe not.

It’s been a hard week, this past week. The height of the disturbing emotions happened on Friday. I was so weak and tired that even the simple act of walking to the High Street to buy some bread and milk was too much.

I have done as 9D Athena suggested…I’ve gone with the flow and accepted what is happening. It’s all for a good reason – not only for me but for the collective. Instead of being there in the thick of the riots, I have been in the thick of the emotions, transmuting at a frantic rate. I have not felt quite so bad in a looooong time.

The flame of prominence surrounding me has been the white flame of purity and cleansing.

I’ve had no connection to my helpers whatsoever, almost as though I’ve been surrounded by a thick gooey syrupy energy. Despair was the most prominent negative energy, which doesn’t surprise me. Most of this country is covered in Gorse bushes, which is in abundance trying to transmute this negative energy of despair and despondency.

My solar plexus has been very raw for days.

Yesterday, we had one of our regular work get togethers in the form of a BBQ at the Lead Clinician’s house. He is a very caring generous man who regularly splashes out to spoil his staff and thank them. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go as I wasn’t feeling 100%. I extended the flames before we left home.

What a fab day. It really brought home to me what a wonderful centre I work at. It is a happy place, everyone cares about everyone else. It was such a pleasure to remove myself from the collective transmutation and spend time with them, without work getting in the way. We’ve gotten to know everyone and their families really well over the years and any newbies are accepted into the heart of the ‘family’ unit with open arms. Even those that have worked as temps or bank staff are invited to these shindigs and become part of the extended family.

It did me good to ‘get away’, talk nonsense, tease and laugh.

Last night during the early hours of the morning, for the first time in five days, I felt the presence of my helpers. They were sending me healing and love. My body became light and floaty. It was great after the heaviness I’ve experienced lately.

This morning I have woken inspired to write. Not blogs but a book. I haven’t felt this urge in a while. Something has cleared.

During all this time I’ve had difficulty reading or writing. Electronic goods have sent me into a spin, hence the silence for a while. I’ve not wanted to meditate, although I’ve tried but it simply distressed me more than helped because I couldn’t find my usual space.

Hubby says I’ve been walking around with a long face for a while. He has been worried and kept on telling me to stop what I am doing as it is ‘bad’ for me.

How do you stop doing what you are in service to do? Me being me, will continue until I drop. Stubborn, eh? Or maybe the tenacity of a bull dog, who will hang on no matter what.

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