This morning I woke and asked, ‘what’s on the agenda today?’
It is a day to spend with myself, meditating. I had a huge download last night and I need to spend time integrating.
I should have known something was up when both my kitties came to lie with me.
I put on some music and sat down to meditate. I expanded the flames until they surrounded my auric field completely.
‘Meditate on your body. Feel gratitude and love toward your body for what it has been through.’
Okay, no problem. Athena had mentioned yesterday that I had to actually feel the gratitude and love.
I started with my head and went through each part – skin, brain, glands, skull, nose, etc. as many as I could remember and thanked them, feeling gratitude and love for what they’d been through. I thanked them for always doing what they could in spite of all the problems experienced.
Easy peasy :) I was sitting quietly as I thought about what I’d been through in this life.
A huge wave of emotion engulfed me. Time to release what still remains in each cell of the body I heard vaguely in the background.
I cried deep sobbing gulps for the shock to my body of operations -
the abortion I had at 16 and a miscarriage at 30 - anaesthetic so they could do a DNC, loss of sight until eventually I had to have my lenses replaced, removal of my appendix, many teeth pulled and fillings, drugs shoved into my body, a broken back after having an epidural during my first labour as well as a dislocated hip while giving birth.
Postnatal depression so bad that I tried to drink it away until finally I attempted to commit suicide, pressure on my head and blockages in my ears for a year, constant rhinitis and migraines that had me incapacitated for days.
And then the past life stuff kicked in – rape, beatings, a foot soldier killing and being killed, jumping to my death off a cliff, drowning, implants and experimentations and too many more to mention.
All of this flashed through my mind as my body released the emotions behind the thoughts and beliefs from within each cell. The flames were sure doing their job. Layer after layer was being peeled back.
It has been quite a day and all I have done is feel gratitude toward my head. Hate to think what’s coming up with the rest of my body. I am feeling quite raw and emotionally exposed.
I seem to have an agreement between my mental and emotional bodies. The mental brings up the thoughts and then the emotional hits me with the emotion that comes with the thought forms.
It never used to be this way. In the beginning my mind and emotions used to stare suspiciously at each other across the boxing ring. Body used to freak out at the emotions and throw all kinds of things in my way to stop me experiencing them. To body, reliving the trauma was very real.
Finally body and emotions got the idea. None of this is harmful, rather it is cathartic and now they embrace it. The vibration of my body has increased with each release.
Acknowledging the thought and emotion behind it goes a long way to releasing. In the acknowledgement I accept the emotion. This clears the way for the emotion to rise up and through crying is cleared. This is alchemy.
As I’ve been processing for years I thought I’d finished it but obviously from what Athena said yesterday about the ‘cells’ I should have guessed that I hadn’t. I have done general processing so that my body was healthy in this 3D world. It is moving past that now to very, very deep stuff. In order for Athena to live in my body my vibration has to increase. The state of bliss will be perpetual once I have cleared everything.
Over the years I have cleared the dis-ease within my body by processing. The denseness of emotions can weigh heavily on the body thereby creating blocks and dis-ease sets in. All of these were lessons for me. Slowly I have cleared and cleared and cleared again, layer upon layer of lifetime after lifetime.
I have stopped processing for the day and have been gently dancing to get the energy moving. I tried to mow the lawn but felt really faint. I think I am asking too much of body. Dancing is better and not too strenuous. She is adjusting and I need to give her the space to do so.
I am truly grateful to my beautiful body for gamely taking on each challenge.
I dedicate this song to my body - this is the song that started this wave of clearing.
Bless you, body. I love you, and thank you.
Days go by and still I think of you - to read comments on LW