Yesterday was quite a restless day. I decided I was going to write about my love of horses, but didn’t quite get around to it.
This morning I woke with a vision of myself at a young age riding a pony. It was like the cartoon depiction of Giles, with those fat little ponies and their scruffy riders.
As I lay quietly remembering, more and more came into my mind. It was like a flood of memories to do with horse riding.
I’ve also realised that the red flame of survival in my throat has been joined by a blue flame and at times as they twined together it looked purple. I didn’t think too much about it, until I started writing about all my memories.
The tears have flowed today remembering my horse, Sparks. I did not realise that I’d harboured so much sadness and regret.
I have just now asked Athena what the blue flame is about. She said it is acceptance. Eh? I thought the blue flame was peace and prosperity.
She patiently explained that in order to reach peace within myself I need to accept, this is the reason that I am working through all the dregs of my memories I haven’t paid much attention to.
She is right. I have so much to work through with regard to my horse. Over the last few days I’ve had a stuffy nose, a frog in my throat and a sore stiff neck. It was obviously a build up to the release of the emotions around this walk down memory lane.