Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, in between the tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Friday, 8 July 2011


I am sitting here listening to Santana’s ‘Inner Secrets’ – reminds me of my teenage years.

I learnt to drive to this album, the music turned up loud. My boyfriend at the time was in the army and it was in his car that I had quite a few lessons…until the last time when I was so confident and travelling at such a speed that as I cornered, I almost flipped his car into a ditch or a ‘donga’ as they are called in Africa. His eyes were so large as he clung to the side of the seat, when I turned to look at him exhilarated that I’d managed to control the car in its slide across the dirt track. Needless to say that was the last time he offered to let me drive :)

Ah, memories. How wonderful they are. They let you know how far you’ve come.

I have been guided into some extraordinary situations, each one designed to help me grow and give me tools to use on my journey back to completeness this time round. I see that now looking back, although at the time some of them were less than savoury.

In spite of my parents disliking each other, they loved us kids intensely and nothing was too much for us. I did lead a charmed life. My sister and brother were sent to boarding school in South Africa when we lived in Namibia (or German South West Africa as it was known then). Why was I not sent? I have no idea and my parents to this day cannot answer the question.

I had a fabulous time in my teens in Namibia – a dusty dry country of amazingly harsh beauty. Camping out in the middle of nowhere – miles of dry savannah lands stretching out as far as the eye could see. In the winter it would reach minus, but in summer it reached mid 40s (talking Celsius here not Fahrenheit).

We had summer rainfall and it was at this time that the dry grasses would turn into lush green. Barefoot and happy.

I went to a private school run by Christian Brothers. They were such honeys. Really sweet and I don’t remember any of them ever raising their voice, except the principal, but even then it was not harsh. When I first started my mother addressed a letter to the principal asking for some time off as we were going travelling to America. She addressed it to Brother Slopes. It turns out Slopes was his nickname because of his large nose. Mom was mortified but he laughed and said he’d frame it and hang it on the wall. It was here I learnt to speak German and Dutch (as well as Afrikaans which was our second language).

It was actually a boys' school that decided to take girls for financial reasons. I was one of about twenty girls in the first intake of girls - I loved it surrounded by hundreds of boys. And of course, the brothers were unsure how to deal with us as they'd only ever taught boys. Not sure if they were more strict with the boys - can't remember. Us girls did run rings around the brothers :) They did seem rather wary of us.

I've always loved masculine energy, so it was the ideal place for me to grow up. Surrounded by boisterous teenage boys as well as gentle masculine energy and then externally surrounded by the strength of disciplined soldiers as the city had a huge army camp.

Every where you went there were crystals lying on the ground and of course further south De Beers mining own a large section of the coast where they mine for diamonds in the sea. There were many crystal shops around and our house was filled with huge rocks of crystal as decoration, including the desert rose. The sands of Namibia are ground down crystals so the energy of Namibia is extremely intense. The huge sand dunes are almost orange against the deep blue sky. Here in the UK we go sledding in the snow, there you go sledding down the sand dunes.

There is a petrified forest of trees that we visited often. I do remember on one occasion walking through quite thick brush and coming face to face with a hyena who was chomping on some carrion.

The Skeleton Coast is thick with skeletons of ships and animals. It is a harsh, cold area. Fishing season permits were granted for a couple of months each year and my father and his friends would pack up the caravans and tents, kids and wives and head out to spend a weekend fishing.

A wild untamed country.

Ah yes, this walk down memory lane shows me how far I’ve come and how important every part of my journey has been.

Skeleton Coast

Brandberg Mountains

Memories - to read comments on LW