I’m never quite sure why criticism is always badly received. Is it low self esteem? What is it that causes us to go into meltdown when someone is perceived to even slightly criticise us? Or what about thinking it's okay to criticise others but not receive it back?
Many years ago I wrote to Kryon after there was a channel stating that healing modalities are slowly becoming outdated and we’d start seeing new modalities coming through or the old ones adapting. Can’t remember when this was…must have been early part of the century ‘cos I was still working in London at the law firm.
I wanted to know if flower and gem essences were outdated. I was studying them at the time and was concerned that maybe I was going about it the wrong way.
I received a reply back from one of the adminisrators. I can’t remember what she said but I felt quite offended by what she’d said. I filed it away and ignored it. I was in a huff about it and thought dismissively ‘what the hell does she know?’
A year later on my last day I was cleaning out my Inbox on my computer when I came across the email I’d received. I read it and found it quite informative. This made me realise that at the time I was in such a different space that I took offence to a silly little thing. Now I can see what she was saying.
I have been confronted by this many times since then. I normally take a step back, go away and come back a while later to go over any answers that I have read or received. By that time I’ve cooled down and see it from a different perspective.
When I started submitting my manuscript for reviews on websites I learnt there to take criticism – both good and bad – and to sift out the chaff from the wheat. Some had good suggestions and others didn’t. Listen…this was my baby that I’d poured my heart and soul into it, slaving over for months and I thought it was good. Here comes someone who’s got no idea why I am writing the story and pulls it to pieces. Yeah, damn right I was offended. But after a while I started to realise that constructive criticism is just that – constructive criticism. The people on the internet don’t know me and they are looking at it objectively.
But browbeating someone into following your opinion? I have experience of that. My dad is one such person – if he believed the sky was pink it was damn well pink no matter what you said. I learnt to stand up to him in my teens – so confrontation holds no fear for me. The problem with my dad is that he could never see anyone else’s point of view, so he never changed and grew. It was his way or no way.
I have learnt to put myself in someone else’s shoes. It makes a huge difference towards creating tolerance. Walk a mile in their shoes and then you can see where they are coming from. It doesn’t make me a namby pamby – far from it, I know when to stand up and be counted and when to leave it alone, ‘cos it’s a waste of my energy.
We are allowed to have discussions and discourses. Everyone’s point of view is valid. And they don’t have to be confrontational. That is up to you to decide, as you manage your energy – no-one else does…unless you allow them to.
So what happens when you refuse to see another’s point of view? Or does being a prickly pear serve you? No, I can’t say it would. It would serve to keep you in place. Where’s the progress in that?
‘There for the grace of God go I’...
There for the grace of God go I - to read comments on LW