Hubby bought me Massive Attack’s CD – Heligoland the other day. I first heard Paradise Circus wafting out over one of the Bays in Sydney Harbour.
I was hooked.
He was surprised to find it under Trance music. I have
listened to the whole CD and love it…my latest favourite is Splitting the Atom.
So does this mean I am into Trance now? Hardly. But there
are some songs that I do enjoy. You’d think I’d always enjoy listening to
calming soothing music…but I don’t. I pretty much like all music and listen to
whatever I feel at that time grabs me.
Since I have done the fasting, things have been changing at a
rapid, not only in my life but in my body. My metabolism seems to have changed.
In these changes I find that I am able to manifest at a
rapid rate, but not merely as a thought – it is now a deep resonance within my
body. If I don’t feel that resonance – it doesn’t happen.
Yesterday I remember suddenly thinking, I am the pure embodiment of love, and my whole body shuddered with
a tingle of energy that ran from my feet up to my head. Jeepers, happened again
as I wrote that.
I have had these shivers of truth run through my body before
over the years, but these seem different in that they are far more powerful and
I can literally see my auric field shiver and react to it.
My body is now finally on board with
everything…and to top it all, my mind is going, yeah okay I get this too. So the visions I am having lately are
aligning every part of me to my future work…drawing it closer and closer. So
much so that I can almost taste it.
So it seems my body, heart, soul and spirit are ALL finally
on the same wavelength. It is very interesting feeling this uniting of all.
Hubby…poor man…is struggling with this change…his tonsillitis
is giving him gip. Although being the martyr that he is, he won’t rest. Seems
to think the world will come to a standstill without him DOing. I have bullied
him into BEing today. He doesn’t do ‘man-flu’
at all…that is for namby pambies…and his programming is that he is not a
namby pamby :-)
Our son is on a mission to push himself to the limit…I can
only watch as he partially destroys himself. We’ve all been there. He needs to
experience the worst so he can understand and know what he doesn’t want.
There is only so much we can teach and guide our children
through. Their path is their path…so despite me sometimes feeling that all my
hard work is being undone…I know that they both have a good base to work from as
they experience the difficulties of life.
With regard to the future…I know that I don’t want to work
at helping others. I helped and supported others when I did my developing
circles, helping them to process emotions from 1996 until approximately 4 years
ago.I did one on one healing and counselling sessions too.
I started attracting
those with very dark deep issues. I moved the classes and sessions to one of
the alternative centres…because I used to hold it in my house and started to
realise that much of their stuff was being dumped in my home, which wasn’t
good.
After years of working with these people I started to
realise that some of them actually wanted to be helped and others didn’t. Those
that I helped moved on. The others were content for me to do all the work and
we seemed to be going in circles. I finally asked the question, Are you ready to let go of your demons?´ and
got the answer, ‘No’. That was when I
realised it was time for me to let them go and become insular and start working
on myself. It was a reflection for me to look at. There were bits and pieces of
me that I didn’t want to release.
It was all part of my saviour programme.
Withdrawing and concentrating on myself, has really been
worth it. So the idea of doing this again…doesn’t pull me. I couldn’t figure
out for years how this was going to sit with my future work.
But now I understand. It is not the teaching, supporting or
how to that is important. It is the energy…and my time out and concentration on
myself, and then hubby and my relationship…has made it all the more clearer.
I trust that my HS and all of me know what they are doing
and so I patiently wait for it all to fall into place…and the glimpses are very
heartening…puzzling but heartening.
For those in the UK – I hope your May Day Bank holiday has been good.
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