Orgasm driven sex

Let’s face it…we’ve been there and to a degree are still there…orgasm driven sex.

Gone are the days when our grandmothers opened their legs and ‘thought of England’…or chocolate, while the husband did his ‘job’. All in the line of duty.

Then came a stage where women were pressured into faking orgasms to make their husbands feel like they were studs.

Next - it was imperative to give a woman a fabulous orgasm…and then came the multiple orgasms.

The more hubby and I explore the current changes in energy and the reality of where we are going, the more it strikes me that deep down most women have known this…a little left over of a memory of how things ‘were’…and can be. Karezza puts us in our heart more than any practice I know...without a great deal of ritual and faffing around.

I, for one, used to love cuddling…still do. But hubby ‘in those days’ – didn’t. You would hear (and still do hear) most men moaning about the fact that women only want to cuddle instead of have sex.

Hmm…I wonder why.

Delving further and further into Karezza – after having tried tantra – I find that it fits the bill for us perfectly. There are no rules – except to try and avoid having an orgasm.

This is loving from the heart and allowing the body to speak without pressure and do what it was created to do. As we move from goal oriented sex, it can be difficult. Believe me, even though we have been doing this for a while…we still slip up and having a roaring orgasm every so often.

The difference now is that I can feel the high of the orgasm and the low of afterward. Not that it is a low but compared to the high…it feels like it. I suspect that this is an addiction I am loathe to give up.

I have enjoyed my orgasms over the years…and hubby has gotten better and better at reading me and my body. He plays me like an instrument. This perception of who we are/were is hard to break, hence the need for rip-roaring orgasms on the odd occasion.

But…the side effect of this LATELY is that not only do we feel the low…but there is a sting in the tail and we both get burnt. Literally burnt. It stings and is extremely uncomfortable…and yet being who we are we do attempt it on the odd occasion in the hope that it will be alright…but it isn’t. It happened again the other day. Stubborn stubborn stubborn.

Basically what our bodies are telling us is that the ‘old’ way is no longer compatible with the energy of where we are…and yet we keep going back…even if it is only to confirm this.

I know I promised hubby I wouldn’t write about our sex life…sorry sweetie…but this is important…so don’t read it if you don’t want to know :-)

This is a thought pattern and the dopamine effect or the addiction to what we know. Maybe we haven’t reached the stage yet where we can say goodbye to that side of ourselves. It is drawing closer…but honestly…it is still glowing strongly…a beacon of temptation.

So on to Karezza – it is a great and wonderful experience when we do it. We both get so much out of it and the heart connection is deep and strong. I think that another of the reasons we ‘slip up’ is that sometimes the bliss becomes too much to handle and so we rush into going the old way to ease the intensity.

Don’t beat yourself up if you slip up once or twice or many times. Sometimes we need to work through it, making the changes slowly. The only thing to look out for is that we don’t permanently stay in the ‘old’ ways because it is comfortable and we couldn’t be bothered to move on. That could be fear raising its head and keeping us in place.

So every time we slip up…I take a hard look at myself. It is my reality and what I am creating and hubby is merely reacting to my energy.

Sigh…

I am getting there. Over the years one thing I have learnt is that everything that hubby reacts to is my own energy. When I make the changes within myself, he changes. I used to get really surprised and excited when this happened, until I realised that in actual fact it was me that had changed. I need to be in my heart more than my head.

I am not in any way shape or form taking away from hubby the progress he has made. It is phenomenal, so much so that it was time for one entity to leave and the other one to take his place.

But this whole relationship is a collaboration of energies. He is so willing and able to change, but my negative energy keeps him in place…mainly because I need to learn and understand what it is that drives me to do what I do and why I’ve experienced what I have. Therefore he is my greatest teacher.

I salute you, babe. Thank you.

Without you and your seeming inability to move or change, it has enabled me to explore myself and become far more than I would have been, than if I’d had a husband who’d simply obliged me every step of the way. You have given me the greatest gift I could ever have asked for - the ability to move toward who I truly am and find ME...and have faith in myself.

I love you deeply…always have and always will.

To learn more about Karezza click on the blogs Karezza in four easy steps (for men) and Karessa Explored