As I sat down to meditate in the shade, both cats came to
sit with me. I realised that once again they wanted to be a part of the
meditation, so when I closed my eyes, I took them with me.
I found myself, hubby and the cats in a long cool corridor
that looked Egyptian. It had hieroglyphs on the walls and tall columns at various
places down the corridor.
I watched the cats as I knew something was gonna happen with
them. They both grew in size to that of a leopard. I could see the little cats
inside the big cats. This was their higher selves.
They started to pad silently down the long dark corridor and
hubby and I followed them. I looked behind to find the dragons with us and I
had a fairy on my shoulder.
We finally reached double doors that were shut. Standing in
front of it were two white unicorns. We stopped and all six of them seemed to
communicate on another level in silence. After a while the cats and unicorns
touched noses while the dragons behind us rumbled.
The unicorns turned to face the door and then touched it
with their horns and both sides of the door swung open silently. They stepped
out of the way and signalled for us to go through.
Oh how beautiful. It was a small glade. At first I could see
it and then it all started to get blurry and fuzzy. I kept seeing and then not
seeing. It was almost as though my eyes were adjusting. I got the sense of a
waterfall and some pools, but it was flashes of sight and slightly overwhelming
as images came at me. It also made me feel ill.
I shut my eyes and realised I was feeling a little fearful.
Ba’shiba gently spoke to me and finally when I felt calm enough I opened my
eyes. We were standing next to a small still pool.
I heard Ba’shiba say it was the Pool of Truth.
Eh? Again?
She nodded. The Pool of Truth is in different levels and
dimensions. This is the next level up from the last.
I looked down into the pool and saw that it had a bottom and
on the bottom were stripy salamanders.
Not quite ready to face it I decided to go over to the other
pool. Over the pool was a ledge where water was gently flowing over it into the
middle of the pool. Because it was all overgrown around both pools I was wondering
how to get there without trampling on the plants. I took a step forward and as
I did so the plants withdrew and a stone step appeared. Each step I took more
of the path appeared. I looked behind to find that the plants were once more
hanging over the place I’d been.
I moved under the ledge to sit on a stone and watched the
water fall into the pool. Despite the massive amount of water coming down it
was very quiet and there were no ripples or froth in the water. The pool itself
was very dark and I could see no bottom to it.
Ba’shiba had followed me. I am not sure how she fitted into
this glade as it was quite small for a huge dragon…but it seemed she did. I
glanced over at hubby by the other pool and his dragon, who is much larger than
Ba’shiba, had also somehow managed to fit as well and didn't seem out of place. I have no idea what hubby was going
through…or where the cats were.
I asked what this pool was and Ba’shiba said it was the Pool
of Doom. Ahh…that is when I understood the feeling of wariness as I walked
around it.
She said I should not go into this pool. I asked her why, in
such a beautiful place, we had this kind of pool. She explained that it wasn’t
necessary a bad thing - small amounts of it seeps over the edge and falls into
the pool below which was the Pool of Truth. It was this energy that nudged long
held and very deep stuff to the surface for clearing and cleansing. It’s a
double edged sword, which means it could swing either way depending on the
person.
She didn’t know of anyone that could be in the Pool of Doom
and survive, as it would nudge so much to the surface, the body would not be
able to cope or survive a dunk in it. She warned me to steer clear of it.
We made our way back to the Pool of Truth. I must say that I
felt a great deal of trepidation looking at this pool and didn’t really want to
get in it. There were some fears lurking within me that I didn’t want to face.
I took a step down into the water onto a stone ledge so that
only my feet were in the water...and it was cold. Once the ripples had stopped I saw
that the salamanders on the bottom had become tiny red dragons with extended spiked
wings. I asked Ba’shiba why the water was so cold. She said it was my fear that
made it so.
The pool didn’t seem so deep, so I took a breath girding
myself for the cold and jumped in. It was only waist high. When I looked down,
the bottom of the pool had disappeared except for the ledge where I was
standing. This brought my fear of bottomless pools to the surface.
I'm okay in the sea as long as nothing brushes against me, even though I cannot see what I am swimming through or next to. It is controllable...but the fear is still there.
I'm okay in the sea as long as nothing brushes against me, even though I cannot see what I am swimming through or next to. It is controllable...but the fear is still there.
I had a
brief flash of a past life where I drowned in a shipwreck. I can see the sailing ship
sinking in the background and I am clinging to a piece of wood, being tossed
about in the stormy water.
I later see myself in quiet waters and I have taken off my
heavy dress as it was dragging me down and am merely in my undergarments. I
look down and can see my white pantalooned legs hanging in the water, a split
second before I see the white underbelly of a large 'shadow' that passed by my
legs. I don’t feel anything but stare at my dangling legs, only to realise that
one is gone. ‘It’ came back and took the lower portion of the other leg. I
weakened from blood loss and pain - and finally drowned.
So yeah…big fear. As I was standing staring down into this
black pool of water in fear, a white thing stirred in the darkness below before rising to the surface fast.
Blimmin’ heck. I think I screamed, or maybe not. I do recall my
heart skipped a beat and I stopped breathing. I have no idea what happened next
but I found myself back in my garden, heart
pounding and two little sparrows sitting on a branch watching me.
I ran away and baked a cake…a nice big chocolate cake. I
consoled myself as I licked the bowl and the spoons clean.
Once I’d calmed down, I came to realise a few things.
Firstly, the energy of the animals from yesterday about
endurance and strength was needed for today so I could face this fear. I very
obviously did not realise how strong this fear is.
Secondly, I had asked over this last week to be shown why I
have a problem with the circulation in my feet and legs, more specifically - my
left leg. It doesn’t bother me but I
wanted to know why.
Throughout this whole meditation I’d been feeling rather
uneasy. Now I understand why. On some level I knew something was going to
happen. What surprises me is the strength of my fear. I have faced some doozies
in my life, so I am not sure why this holds so much distress.
Well…when I pluck up the courage to go there again…I am sure
to find out. Meanwhile I am going to enjoy my chocolate cake…but not before I
have my Pilates class. Good to work up a bit of a sweat to help clear out the
toxins caused by the fear.
I have asked all involved to put this meditation on hold
until I come back to it
I looked up the dictionary definition of ‘doom’ - inevitable destruction or ruin.
I suppose it is up to us to make of it what we will. We can
either hang on to that which serves to keep us in our doom and ruin…or we can
destroy its hold over and move on.
Um…for the time being I am hanging on to it, until I feel
brave enough to face it and let it go.
Much later...
Much later...
After our pilates class I came back to ice the cake whilst
chatting to our son. We both really enjoy our sessions and it is nice to do
something with him.
We had a slice of cake and a cup of tea. Whilst
sitting outside and drinking the tea I noticed something happening to my
vision. I assumed I’d looked at something bright that caused the slight
blurring in the middle of my vision.
We carried on talking whilst I blinked and blinked but
slowly it dawned on me that this was the precursor to a migraine. I have not
had a migraine for years.
It used to start with slightly blurred central vision in one
eye. I could see peripherally but could never focus on anything. Within half an
hour I’d have the most excruciating pain and sensitivity to light. During this
I’d also get so nauseous and one of the other side effects is diarrhoea.
I immediately made myself a cup of chamomile tea and once
the teabag had cooled down, lay it over my eye. It was the right eye.
My neck had slowly stiffened more and more during this time.
Another sure sign of a migraine. While I had the teabag over my eye I started
tapping. I also stopped every so often to concentrate with my eyes closed on
the spot. It seemed to be made up of rippling shapes in a semi-circle. The
colours were stripes of blue, white and black that kept moving. It seemed to be
growing larger and larger.
Eventually it moved out of my central vision and was mainly
on the periphery. The colours had changed to brown, white and black –
constantly moving and changing like the hieroglyphs.
It finally stopped and I had a bath to relax myself. It
seems that this fear I am hanging on to is far more than the fear of being
bitten by a shark. It goes back to a core issue that I have ignored, mainly
because I thought a fear of water was not a major issue. It seems that is not
the real reason I’ve ignored it and the time is now right to release it.
Whilst in the bath, I allowed my mind to wander back to the
meditation and I realised just before I
shot myself out of the meditation, that the shark itself had communicated with
me but in my fear I’d ignored it as I scrambled out of the water.
The vague gist of what he was telling me is that everything
happens for a reason that was necessary at the time, but there is no reason to
fear him now. I must embrace him with love and accept that what happened was part
of my lessons.
I have to let go of the fear…and you know when I realised
that I felt my whole body relax and sigh.
Of course there is nothing to fear except fear itself.
So tonight once I've got some time to myself I am going to go back and finish what I started.
Click here to read the continuation of this shark meditation.
Click here to read the continuation of this shark meditation.
No comments:
Post a Comment