I woke this afternoon with the words ‘what you resist persists’ ringing in my ears. I knew I’d been dreaming, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember what. It’s not often that I dream during the day after a night shift.
It got me pondering why I was hearing these words. Has there been something I’ve been resisting? Stupid question…there is much…but which one exactly is this directed at?
Last night while at work my blood pressure was low and at one stage my kidneys started aching…again. I remember thinking ‘Oh, what the f---! Not again.’ And yes, I was miffed. For goodness sakes, enough is enough.
It did pass but not before I started to panic slightly. Then something happened and I forgot about the wallowing in self pity and I got on with my job.
Climbing into bed this morning I became aware of my kidneys again…and my legs. Yes, I had cleared the callipers and in their place were etheric leather sandals criss-crossing my lower legs. These seem to support rather than hinder.
In a split second of clarity I realised that I needed to let go. Let go of my addiction to the 3D world and how it works. ‘Addiction’ might seem to be a strong word but that is the only way I can explain it. The addiction to my habitual way of being me, what I do and how I do it.
I find it difficult to actually write this in words because words are so limited.
And so, let go I did and with much feeling. I’m not sure what happened, except that I woke hours later with those words ringing in my ears. My body feels great although my brain is a bit disorientated.
As I write these words I realise that hubby has given me a great gift. He’s always accepted me for me. Yeah, we have arguments, we are after all, a normal couple. But he’s never questioned my path – as long as I didn’t drag him into my ‘world’. I have no idea when I came to accept that this is the way things would be. The first few years of my journey I was so excited about what I was learning I was constantly running around learning and shoving it down his throat.
I resisted the idea that we would not be the ultimate ‘spiritual’ couple and I was puzzled as to why he could not ‘see’ the fab world I was learning about. The more I persisted the more he resisted.
I have no recall when I stopped and accepted this situation. I think it might have been when Sananda gave me the analogy that as I was moving forward hubby would follow but not in any way that I could see. We were bound together by an elastic band. I would push forward straining the elastic band until there was an explosion causing a great clearing and he would be catapulted to catch up to me.
Was it easy? No, but that in itself was valuable. His resistance spurred me on. Like the ‘strong man’ competition where they pull heavy trucks, straining at the load. Haha…yeah, I did pop a few bones and kidneys doing it, but it strengthened me at the same time.
Hubby was the rock to which my string was tethered as I flew high and bright.
The time for hubby’s resistance is over – a job well done. I understand that now, hence the arrival of his HS.
Hubby does know. Who’d have guessed? He said yesterday without me prompting him that he was feeling very peaceful. From a distance I can see his HS covering him but close up he simply becomes hubby.
I don’t know what this all means. I’ve learnt not to put expectations on anything but simply allow it to be and let it unfold as it should.
Gosh, I am sounding so serious, today. I’m listening to Sting & The Police. ‘Let Your Soul Guide You’ is playing. How appropriate – that is exactly what has happened. I see that now. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn’t it?
Our hardships are tempering the steel that we are made from and turning a base metal into gold. It will finally resolve itself and become a thing of beauty. Ask me…
I’m not even sure any of this makes sense. I shall add as a clarifier for waffling nonsense, that four hours of sleep is not conducive to good brain activity.
My tummy is full and my eyes are drooping. Sleep time.
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