Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, in between the tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Something within has clicked into place

Something within me has clicked into place. It wasn’t a definite click that I was aware of, but today has been a day full of confidence. So much so that everything I have done today seems to be without effort and I know that I’ve done a good job.

I’m not sure how to explain this. I’ve always been pretty confident about many things…except my spirituality. I’ve always doubted what I have to offer.

Hmm…the difference is very subtle, but so strong that I’ve noticed it. I’m sitting here wondering how…and more importantly…will it last?

Okay, the how is the codes that were downloaded last night. It’s almost as though slowly over the years bits of me have been re-arranging themselves from being chaotic to a definite pattern…and yet although lately I’ve felt I’ve gotten some way to being ‘almost there’…I’ve not quite hit it.

Today I feel I’m there…wherever ‘there’ is.

I’d been mulling over the Hearts and Minds Meditation, kinda having an idea of what it would be but not too confident that I really knew. So I’ve been putting it off, or rather not putting it off…simply not thinking about it. I’d been feeling overwhelmed with all the stuff – work, getting ready for our holiday and still doing all my blogging, etc.

This morning I woke and knew exactly what I had to do with the meditation. It flowed out of me without any effort which had me amazed and filled with awe.

Hey man…is that me?

So as far as I am concerned…those first three codes have hit home big time and delivered a huge result.

But…they weren’t the only things that helped me get where I am. Funny how whatever delivers the final punch always makes us go ‘wow’…but in actual fact we tend to forget all the other bits and pieces that contributed to getting us to that point, where something will tip us over the edge…and it doesn’t necessarily have to be a massive thing.

Possibly what has happened is that everything was working towards this one point in time, when the codes would be delivered with the greatest effect.

Man alive…synchronicity…fabulous word that sums it up.

But you know as I am sitting here I am feeling that little bit of me that sabotages, raising its little head and going, ‘Well that won’t last, will it?’

This has got me thinking about what I was mulling over today. How often have we tried to change our reality around us? For example, someone in our family (or our neighbour) always acts in a certain way and it drives us insane. We take a deep breath and do all kinds of things to change how we feel about this person and their actions.

We become determined that we will make sure that we change our reality so that this person is different.

We work hard at clearing the emotion only to fall at the first stumbling block when we react in a specific way that we always react when that person acts like they normally do.

So now…is it that this person will never change…or the fact that I have failed to change my perspective? I have failed to deliver as far as my non-judgmental reaction is concerned. That person only reacted in that way because there is a part of me that doesn’t believe it will happen.

So here I am, with that little voice of doubt popping up its head and I know that if I return to my old pattern, it’s no-ones fault but my own. I failed to deliver what I set out to do.

So this again goes hand in hand with trusting ourselves. How can we trust ourselves if we keep making promises and breaking them? Lack of trust or disappointment has nothing to do with anyone else, but ourselves. It's our creation.

The funny thing is that we will nod our heads sagely and go, ‘Oh yeah…I knew so-and-so wouldn’t deliver.’ Their behaviour then justifies our belief that they won’t change and this reinforces how we feel. They are reflecting back at us, through their inability to change...our inability to change.

How can they change if we don’t believe they will? How can they change if we keep them chained by our beliefs? It doesn't matter what, it is our reality and we can create what we want...it's just that sometimes we do it by default and we don't realise we are doing it. Talk about sabotaging ourselves to fail.

Blimmin’ heck…it wasn’t them, it was/is us. It's up to us to break the pattern.

Talk about giving myself an eyeballing chest poking talking to, 'You’d best not eff this up, my dear' :-).


Dorothy said...

Holy cow I could have written this! Something changes in me, something happens that feels wonderful and I feel good about it, for a few days...then I start to doubt. Will it last? Did I/it really change? Did I really do that? Etc, etc. Ah the human mind sure likes to keep us on our toes eh?
The message I keep getting is to Trust. To let go and trust that spirit has my back. I'm getting there.
I know you are getting there, too, Karen. I can see the change in you. I love that you share this journey with us, this journey of trust and wisdom. It benefits all of us when you do. Thank you.

sisteroflight said...

Won't it be wonderful to live without self-sabotage. Just to feel quietly and peacefully confident :))

Karen-Pallas said...

Aw...thank you, Dorothy. We're all casting light on this journey to wholeness.
Heart hugs

Karen-Pallas said...

Indeed it would