During my break last night I had a bit of a break down.
Late afternoon yesterday day I’d read something that triggered a reaction in my body but I pushed it to one side, cos I was busy cooking up a storm making lotions and potions.
So the first time I actually sat down and was with myself was during my break.
I suddenly felt overwhelmingly useless and so incredibly unhappy. I was taken into a past life – one which Athena and I have briefly touched on - a blind oracle who was banished because she started to doubt herself and what she was getting and lost her confidence through a series of happenings.
Yeah…so there was a bit of jealousy involved…but that is by the by. What is the great issue is not who did what where and when but how it has impacted on my life now. Sometimes when I have a regression I merely get the emotional trauma rather than ‘seeing’ the event.
Last night was one such occasion where the emotional trauma was so strong I couldn’t get past it to see what had actually happened and how I’d reached such a bad state. I still feel somewhat wobbly when I think about it, but I have cleared a lot.
Today I am feeling rather sad for that person I was in that lifetime, but it was a necessary lesson and understanding. And now I can understand in this life why I’ve had such difficulty talking. Blogging is easy…talking is different.
Being a really shy child and teenager I had a hard time speaking and would often remain quiet. I blushed really easily as soon as anyone paid me any attention. This is one of my deep seated lessons – not to doubt myself and to speak my truth without fear.
I felt the impact of that life this morning when I was talking to patients about the diagnosis of their sleep studies from last night. It was strange to be simultaneously in both lives.
I felt the impact of that life this morning when I was talking to patients about the diagnosis of their sleep studies from last night. It was strange to be simultaneously in both lives.
I have pulled this past life of mine into the heart connection and together we are healing with love.
I feel that once I am past this much will change. But for the time being I remain sad and my throat is aching.
So today is a day of sleeping, regression, clearing and healing.
5 comments:
It seems the time to unravel these parts of us that are tied into painful old stories, doesn't it. They need our love and acceptance to heal. Isn't it good that we have the wisdom to be able to work in a positive way with our old wounds. Sue x
Hi KP44
Hugs
M11
<3
Hi Karen,
Shy yes, me too. I was so very quiet, still am pretty much. Blogging is my talking lol. And your reasons resonate with my life as well.
It also still feels like if I open my mouth or am Me, I get unpleasant repercussions. I am working on allowing myself to be me in public. Like yesterday, again at work, I got a not-wonderful evaluation. Until I got moved to this unit, never in my life have I gotten reprimanded for how well I do my job or had someone tell me my work is less than acceptable. I have always been the one who did more than the rest!
Methinks I am getting signs galore to find another job.
Anyhow, I did your heart meditation last night because I found myself berating myself all day. Not very loving. I decided to put my little girl/inner child in front of me as she was not feeling loved at all. Perhaps I should put a past self there instead....no, I will do one with a past self too when this one feels good. Can you do more than one at a time?
I love the meditation. Thank you so much.
Deeper deeper and deeper still. Never ending cycle. Each time I think I'm done, a new layer is exposed. The curious detective in me enjoys the untangling and investigation, although my body grumbles. I've had a good day with my other self, simply being with her. Much love to you, Sue.
Thank you M11, your Reiki was and still is gratefully accepted. I thought of you as I was crying my heart out and felt the energy.
:-)
Thank you for taking the time to do the meditation.
Yes, you can do it with more than one aspect or person, although it does become quite intense...but go with your gut.
We are being propelled to release that which keeps us from stepping into our roles. Not always easy or pleasant. May it get smoother and easier.
Heart hugs to you, Dorothy
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