The oracle loves to dance. So I’ve been dancing almost every day. When dancing she is free and happy and can express herself. When we’d stop dancing, she’d become wary and withdrawn.
I did the Hearts and Breasts Meditation to keep my heart connection with her. Each time I tuned in I’d find an older version of her sitting in front of me, white milky eyes glaring sightlessly as she bared her teeth like a wild animal growling a warning, dirty and bedraggled with a wild mop of unwashed hair and then she'd hunch over and disappear inside herself.
This is what made me think she might have become slightly unhinged…or maybe not so much unhinged as unpredictable.
So in order to make her comfortable, we’d dance and it was during the dancing that she shared with me, her work as an oracle. I became part of her and could feel the fabric of the clothes she was wearing. The soft material seemed to flow lovingly around her like silk. She was happy within herself doing the work of an oracle. It was all that she knew.
She was looked after well, was fed when she needed feeding. I don’t get the impression that there was specific times that she made predictions or for specific people, but mostly she’d seem to feel the need to get up and dance and speak. Actually I’m wondering if she was deaf as well because I didn’t seem to hear anything, but it could be that the temple was a quiet place.
I was aware of many people around her. I assume they were her carers or those that translated her words.
She’d dance herself into a trance and then start speaking in light.
In order to reach this state of trance, she’d forget the world around her and surrender herself to the music only she could hear. Once she’d found that place within herself where she heard the music, she’d start moving...slowly at first as though trying to find the rhythm and then giving over to the freedom of movement.
Mostly she lived life without being aware of the world outside herself or the temple.
While I was with her during one of the trance dances, I became aware of an air of ‘lust’ around her. I couldn’t quite see who it was and if there was more than one person projecting this energy. What I do know is that she was totally unaware of being raped when it happened. She was so deep in her trance that she did not feel anything happening to her body…and yet the trauma still remains with her.
This is what slowly started her spiral downwards. In spite of not being aware of the rape, her body’s consciousness remembered the trauma settled deep within her. After this incident she couldn’t quite reach the same state of trance she’d had before and therefore all her predictions were ‘off’. It took a while but finally she was released from her position and a new oracle took her place.
This wound that she was unaware of made her feel ‘unsafe’. I’m wondering if she was a little autistic and would withdraw into her own world because ‘outside’ energy was too harsh.
She didn’t understand the world but did understand that she was no longer of any use to the temple but she didn’t know how it had happened.
They (I assume the temple people) still looked after her, but from her appearance she must have been quite a handful to look after.
She did continue to dance but not as an oracle doing trance work and speaking in light. That was lost to her because of her fear.
My oracle managed to live…well not until a ripe old age but she was certainly older and may have become more and more morose and unpredictable the older she got.
And so that is the sad tale of one of my aspects.
It kinda helps me to understand why in 2002 I lost my sight. I needed to experience that part of one of my lives. My then mentor from the College of Vibrational Medicine worked through it for months on end to no avail. Eventually I had to have operations on both eyes. I now have my sight – it’s not 100% but it’s good. My eyes are like cat’s eyes. When the light catches them you can see right into the depths of my eyes as though they are a mirror.
It also helps me to understand why I don’t want to sink fully into my inner world, because I felt I might get ‘lost’ like she did, and then be so unaware of what was going on around me or why I don’t want to do predictions or readings.
In fact it answers a whole lotta questions too numerous to outline here.
Thanks to Sue for helping me with this clearing. Both the oracle and I are grateful and send our appreciation and love to you, Sue.
Anyways I woke this morning feeling fabulous and happy. The oracle that has integrated with me is still tentative about the world but is far happier than she was. We have spent the day doing ‘normal’ things like working in the garden and clearing the clutter, going shopping, eating and, of course listening to music and dancing.
She wants to start working as an oracle again…um…it’s not quite what I had in mind for myself, but what the heck…I’m always up for a new adventure :-)