Speaking out

Yeah, I know…I’m supposed to be on a self-imposed sabbatical…

Reading Mati’s wordpress blog about being a domino http://matarikidimension.wordpress.com/2011/05/25/touching-the-first-domino/ and QuietWord’s piece on sarcasm I feel like I’m being given some information that I need to work with. I know I hold back when it comes to saying what I want to say, ‘cos I know it will hurt someone. I don’t do it intentionally – it’s simply speaking out about the way I see it. Many people walk around with their heads buried in the sand blinded by the need not to see.

If there is a manager who cannot manage very well and has done years of bad managing – why not say it. Everyone knows it, but no-one voices it. This manager has had years to brush up on their managerial skills but hasn’t bothered and bumbled along.

 I know that not all people are leaders. My point of view is if you cannot do the job step aside for someone who can. Don’t hang on to your ivory tower because it’s familiar and comfortable. So I voiced it and get wrapped over the knuckles because I’m being nasty. No, I’m not. The manager has said she hates doing it. Why carry on with something you hate? Why not make an effort to change? It remains to be seen whether this makes a difference. Somehow I don’t think so, cos I voiced my reservations years ago and nothing got done, except I got a warning.

It’s no wonder the NHS is a mess – too much political correctness and they keep writing more and more procedures and regulations to tie a person up. There is so much paperwork and red tape and box ticking that there is no time for actual healing or helping patients. I’m being dragged into the 3D again but I do believe it is for a reason. It is not only is about me but about the NHS as a huge organisation having to make the changes to become more than it is.

Anyway, my neck and throat have been tense for the last two weeks, as I keep my mouth shut. The course I’m currently doing is also very trying as the NHS coaches people to be politically correct and to bend over backwards in an effort to be ‘nice’ to people. I can do nice, that I understand, but what I don’t get is the need to be oblivious. Truth has always been a motivator for me. I dislike deception. If we pussyfoot around, do we not add to that need for people to believe that all is well, when in fact it quite obviously isn’t.

Caring and loving are two emotions that I feel most for my patients. Irritation does step in but I always put myself I their shoes when that happens. I will always support someone who is trying. What I don’t agree with is someone not making an effort to help themselves and that is when my ‘truth’ antennae kicks into gear.

I have blogged about this before and I reckoned I’d made my peace with my ‘tactless’ side, but clearly I haven’t. The truth can be hard hitting but as Mati says – maybe we can be a catalyst for someone who needs to make the change but doesn’t want to.

Last night I asked the question about what to do and all I got was a vision and feeling of being a vortex myself and yet the inner essence of myself was very still. I felt ripples running up and down my body, shaking it out of its complacent state. It wasn’t harsh, but felt like a re-arranging of my cells, whilst my soul or inner essence directed the change from a place of balance. I got so tired I had to go to bed very early.

This morning when I awoke I found that the vortex had died down to a few ripples. My throat is still tense and my head on one side is filled with pressure.  

What I understand is that truth needs to be tempered with wisdom and I gotta find the balance between the two, because keeping my mouth shut is not doing me any good.

It seems that dealing with the ‘war’ transmutation for the collective has really set me off on a new path of understanding. Where it will take me I have no idea, but all I can think of is to say is, ‘thank you’…although the collective might not like what I have to say at the end of this change.

Good thing I got Athena to guide me…strange – she is the Goddess of War, Wisdom and Truth…or maybe it’s not strange that I’m being pushed on this.

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