Hever Castle

Lol...we've been living in this area for 13 years and have never visited Hever Castle which is literally on our doorstep! This is the home of Anne Boleyn.

Come Undone

Last night was the most amazing night of loving that I've ever experienced...and that is saying something!

Hubby gave me a massage for the first time since the abstinence started in mid-March.

WOW! So much has changed in the energy interaction between us. His fingers expressed the rich depth of his love, patience, worship, honour, joy, respect, happiness, innocence, pleasure...you name it, it was there in its full colour spectrum, transporting me to wondrous experiences of sensual delight - each emotion etched within my Heart, my body responding in ways it hasn't ever done before, my mind totally blissed out, not once stirring to interfere.

Our Psychic Memory-filled Hair

Yesterday I had the two stitches in my hair removed.

As I washed my hair today I thought about our hair. I recalled a blog I'd written in Portal to Love and Pleasure on 4 May 2011 called The Fascinating Truth About Our Hair. It seems from an experiment with Vietnam soldiers that our hair is a sort of antenna and if cut it, we lose our psychic abilities.

There are also sects that shave their hair so that as they clear beliefs and emotions the old memories stored in the hair are also cleared. I am sure that there is merits in both.

In love with life

Further to the Return to Innocence blog...

The essence of innocence gives joie de vivre greater depth, is far more encompassing and seemingly complex than I've ever understood.

A graceful movement, a brief touch, a voice singing, the laughter of a child, sunsets can all bring so much pleasure leading to a state of orgasmic bliss.

I'd damp down the orgasmic state when interacting with anyone other than hubby. Mostly because when feeling this, it was corrupted by the deeply held generation upon generation mis-belief that this is a sexual state and should be 'acted' upon as per our world where sex is/was power and power is/was sex...and really...do you want to feel aroused by parents, siblings, children?

Herstmonceux Castle

Herstmonceux Castle-  "By the end of the 12th Century, the family at the manor house at Herste had considerable status. Written accounts mention a lady called Idonea de Herste, who married a Norman nobleman named Ingelram de Monceux. Around this time, the manor began to be called the 'Herste of the Monceux’; a name that eventually became Herstmonceux (pronounced Herst-mon-soo)."

The Horse - Power Animal

I was busy reading a blog today and came across Power Animals Unleashed.

Thought I'd give it a try and voila! this hit the nail on the head - it is exactly what I am working towards.

Return to innocence...

It has taken me ages to write this blog, which I have done little bits at a time, then deleted it all and started over again and again.

There's been little flashes of insight that I've had for months that I've not been able to grab, translate and write down.

There is one word that has been repeatedly running around in my head -

Innocence

Every time I think of it, it sends a frisson of energy through my body, which I have as yet to fully understand so I am letting it slowly bubble away until something came to the surface. My body needs to integrate everything that has been released into it.

Moments of overwhelming love and happiness

There are occasions, over this last week (appr.), when I see hubby and the gentle flow of love and happiness expands, my whole body resonating. Each time seems to be deeper, stronger and I am able to take more.

We sometimes do this in synchronicity. We'll both look up from what we are doing and lock eyes. My whole body lights up as the love flows out of my eyes to meet him. It is the most amazing WOW! I've ever experienced. 

Has it come to this: Lingam vs Yoni worship?

 

I have changed this blog since I uploaded it yesterday, mostly because it didn't seem to flow very well. Haha...probably still doesn't!

There has been so much going on both within and externally, layers within layers within layers. I've been following little clues for some time along the way (not all of which I will document) which includes karezza contributing in no small way to the overall picture.

Vivid dream of house

 

I had a very vivid dream again last night. This one and the previous one of a few weeks ago are helping me to understand that I am on the right track even though it may seem otherwise. Dreaming about houses occurs quite often and believe it represents me and where I am.

I cannot remember the first part of the dream. What I do remember is the driving need to visit a house that hubby and I had seen before.

Karezza: to do or not to do?

Hubby and I have never been much on abstaining when it comes to sex. Regular sex and many orgasms were the order of the day. I could never imagine (and still don't) having sex with no orgasm.

The quest for good sex has led us from conventional sex to tantra/taosim to karezza (written about on my previous blog)...and that is where we stopped...or rather I stopped and backed away.

I love orgasms, I love having sex, the intimacy and the sensuality of it. I love the way my hubby is so completely focused and selfless about giving me the maximum amount of pleasure when we do spend intimate moments together.

Entering a phase of calm after the chaotic storm energies

The chaos that the sleep unit has experienced over the last 3-4 years seems to be abating somewhat and because of this, I find myself relaxing and enjoying my passion once more.

I see the changes that have been brought about this year, finally calming really tense situations down…of course it helps that the hospital hierarchy have released their very tight grip on the purse strings and agreed to employ more sleep technicians, consultants and possibly, very slightly possibly admin staff too.

Our referrals every year have been growing steadily…this year they are up by 69%...which brings Pound signs of love to finance's eyes!!

I have been very blessed to have employment with them - my first foray into the medical world surrounded by amazingly compassionate people, who don’t believe in pulling rank or have any specific hierarchy. From the lead clinician down to the housekeeper, everyone is treated the same – with respect and dignity – all of us contributing in our own way to the wellbeing of the patients.

Some newbies have found it difficult to adapt and start off throwing their weight around, taking some time to realise that being kind to your work colleagues does have its merits, whilst others are simply arseholes no matter what and try bending everything to their will regardless.

Fear of ...

I've been thinking on fear...mostly because of something someone said on Monday when I was at work.

I don't quite remember how we got onto the subject of spiders, but we did. She said she will not go to visit Australia simply because of her fear of spiders!!

Sexual Evolution

 

The intensity of the sexual/creative energy is shaking up everyone. All those little hidden 'gems' I believed I'd cleared, echo their way through my body as the collective makes a haunting cry for change.

Enough is enough.

As you may or may not know, hubby and I, together with others, have in the past dismantled and transmuted the old 3D sexual grid, sometimes using different practices such as tantra, etc. but mostly simply transmuting the energy. This work still continues in the very competent and capable hands of others as our attention has turned to the laying of the new Earth sexuality gridwork/foundation.

The dismantling of the old energy brought much of what had been hidden to the surface, the results of which we are still seeing.

I had a dream...

 

I had an extremely vivid dream last night:

I was attending a meeting about some invention or an idea I’d had. I sat waiting in the reception of the solicitor’s office in a large swanky building, feeling a bit unsure/insecure about the whole thing. A few surprise arrivals came through the door. First it was my immediate family members who sat around me excitedly chatting about what was about to happen, then extended family, then friends, then friends of friends. I was surprised and delighted at this show of support, although now I cannot remember what the idea or invention was.

Like a brilliant ray of sunshine

I've been really curious, but patient waiting for the answer, as to why I've felt the need to withdraw from intimate relations.

I thought I was orgasmed out!! Which was a possibility after all the years of trying different sexualities from hot/cold tantra to taoism to karezza all of which we'd embraced with a great deal of enthusiasm, but by that stage had seemed so yesterday - faded, jaded and quite frankly boring.

Ceremony

I've had to repost this as the previous blog had become corrupt whilst I was trying to replace the picture I'd drawn with the triquetra vesica.

My meditations lately feel like I am moving into a different reality, a type of lucid dreaming. After reading Celia Fenn’s Time Travel blogs I recognise what I am doing and have been doing for a while. Sometimes I am able to be both here and there at the same time, not having the ability quite yet to move fully into a different reality. I suppose I am still at the stage where I have the comfort of knowing I am fully anchored in this reality as I worry I might lose my way.

Dearest Lover...

Being in relationship with my hubby always reflects the relationship of my inner masculine and feminine.

Oh my, how often do I NOT want to see it. In the end I admit that hell yes I can be a pigheaded stubborn dolt that I seethingly inside feel my hubby is.

Haha...hooboy.

Would we work?

I saw this on FB this morning and it stopped me in my tracks. It's a question I'd not thought of for years.

When I first started on this path in 1995 I was all fired up about the potentials of what 'could be'. Meeting up with like-minded people really inspired me and we'd discuss endlessly different aspects. My my, how exciting it was to have a whole new horizon open up before me.

Roman Baths in Bath, Somerset

Entrance to the Roman Spa

Bath, Somerset