Being in relationship with my hubby always reflects the relationship of my inner masculine and feminine.
Oh my, how often do I NOT want to see it. In the end I admit that hell yes I can be a pigheaded stubborn dolt that I seethingly inside feel my hubby is.
Haha...hooboy.

I was trying to explain something on the weekend. Hubby never interrupts me when I talk 'oobly-doobly' stuff, which in itself is disconcerting as he has a habit of interrupting people, being a larger than life character with a story to tell. When I ask why, he always says that I am the fundi on the subject and so he merely listens.
Quite often over the years, I'd get suspicious that he has tuned out and is thinking on other things, but he always answers with what I've told him when I question. So I believe he does listen.
Wow, incredible that I can command that kinda respect?!
But this time he said that I'd repeated myself several times and he gets it.
Well, didn't that just hit me hard. I was feeling frustrated as I couldn't express very well what I wanted to say and all I heard with my emotionally charged ears was, 'You're talking nonsense. Shut up' - thus highlighting my insecurity.

I didn't want to go there...for a change.
We were in the car travelling somewhere, so I couldn't walk off in a huff.
I sat silently fuming at the unfairness of the remark, imagining all kinds of dark and sinister things happening to him at my hand, hubby wisely keeping quiet as he has learned to read me well over the years.
It took me a while to get out of the funk of anger, woe-is-me and all those other self pitying emotions when it seems another has knocked us back, taking a while for it to register that once again I'd allowed my feelings to colour my day in a negative way, rather than turning it around and seeing the message.
I am in charge if I want to be - so instead of whinging - BE IN CHARGE!
Once, I'd accepted responsibility for myself and my emotions, the cloud disappeared and the sun came out. I reflected on what had happened.
Hubby's voice hadn't been raised or sound derogatory in any way. He'd merely been stating something, but that something had hit an emotional hotspot within me, hence the reaction. He was simply being the messenger.
The closer someone is to us, the stronger our negative reaction. These are our greatest teachers, hard though it may be to accept.
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