A vivid dream about where I will be living in the not too distant future woke me this morning. I lay half asleep relishing the wonderful feeling it evoked. The peace and harmony I knew existed within the community and the sheer pleasure at knowing I was fulfilling my deepest desire.
Coming back into this reality I carried this feeling with me until that restlessness took over once again. I remember having a similar feeling just before going into labour with both my children. I am needing to do ‘something’ but I cannot figure out what it is.
My job seems to be vying for my attention as well. When I thought cutting down my hours would give me more free time, it seems that other bits and pieces have rushed in to take its place. When I think I have found the balance, the scale seems to tip again and I am inundated with extra stuff from the hospital.
I suppose we’re all fine tuning at the moment. A wave of energy throws us off centre and we are having to tweak and fine tune to regain our balance. It’s an exercise in mastering our energy, being flexible and going with the flow – also finding out when to say NO or YES.
There is much going on at the sleep unit that seems disorientated and unsure, overloading of work, too much for us to handle, huge influx of referrals and the fact that we are bulging at the seams. A technician meeting last night was held in the small cramped admin office while one of the Consultant’s clinics over ran, patients finding places to sit wherever they could – even in layers up the stairs and in the technician room :) and then flying around afterward to clean up and set up for the night, having to make urgent appointments for patients on the spur of the moment to come in and see us between admitting patients for the night…always going the extra mile.
It was so very obvious last night that we have long outgrown where we are…but in five weeks we are moving into our new abode. The refurbishment works have started and according to our manager are speeding along nicely. So here we are, in the meanwhile, juggling to fit everything in and make sure there is a smooth run, not only up until the move, but during it as well and into the new year, when we start afresh on the 3rd of January.
Whatever can be thrown at us, is. Everyone in our little unit is hunching down taking the onslaught while banding together in unity to create a smooth flow for our patients, so that there is no gaping chasms through which any of them will fall.
And so I hold the balance and a safe space within which all of this may take place. Each swell of energy has me bouncing around trying to find the balance…but you know what…I am thoroughly enjoying myself. I know it sounds crazy, but I am. And to top it all I have been having the most amazing insights – AHA moment - into how the unit can be run better and have put them forward and they will be implemented once we’ve moved.
I find myself riding the wave of creativity. Hey man, look at me getting my surfing legs! Hehe…every so often I get dumped and almost drown…but there is nothing like a side dish of optimism to get me going again.
Fine tuning the balancing act - read any comments on LW
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