On Friday I had a bit of an enlightenment. Our son had decided he does not want to continue studying and would prefer to work. After a long and frank discussion we notified the school that he would not finish Sixth Form.
But since then he has not been able to find a job. This is not through lack of trying…okay he doesn’t seem too determined but he is applying for jobs but nothing has come his way. I thought it might be because he is still so young – only 17. He has no idea what he wants to do and I recall at this age not being sure what my career path was, so I have a great deal of sympathy. Hah…what did I know?
In meditation on Friday, with some kind (and not so kind) nudging from my unseen helpers (well, they are seen by me), I realised that I have not let him go.
All of this ties in with the restlessness hubby and I feel in our need to move on, but I cannot move on until I let him go. The dilemma has been this…when our daughter left home she was 19 and had been working for a year and a half…whereas our son is only 17 and has not started working. I felt he was too young to be left alone to make his way in the world. Hubby felt this way when our daughter left and now it is my turn with our son. Them up there tell me that he will be fine…he’ll hit a few snags along the way and seemingly go off the rails, but he is a practical young man with his head screwed on. He has his own mission and path to walk.
I would not make the decision to leave here until he is settled…but in a catch 22 situation he woouldn’t find a job until I let him go. I thought I had but it turns out I had not.
So we cut the ties in a ceremony amid much snivelling and hiccupping on my part. I knew they were right. We are all ancient souls and despite the fact that he inhabits a young body, he is very old and wise.
I remembered all the times as a youngster, before the age of 12, when he’d transmuted all the negative energy our family carried. Thank goodness I only discovered that he was a silent sentinel a few months ago. Can you imagine the trauma it would have caused within me if I’d know this when he was, for example 2 or 3 or 6 or 9 years old. Every time he swallowed all the negative energy and transmuted it I would have felt so guilty and upset – creating more for him to deal with. Sometimes it is good to be ignorant.
As it is, this ceremony was hard enough in that I wanted to show him so much gratitude for what he’d done that I wanted to keep him tied to me forever. What kind of gratitude is that? All I was doing was restricting him in his growth.
We had an altercation that afternoon after the ceremony. I knew that on another level he was feeling this withdrawal by me and wasn’t sure how to deal with it. I never told him anything about what I was doing…sometimes it isn’t needed.
Mostly when I have released stuff over the years there has not been any outward reaction from my little family unit, but there have been occasions when the release has been so strong it has left them energetically floundering and unsure, hence the need to be angry as the fear was so great. And this was what happened on this occasion.
I felt okay with it as I was over my tears and simply went about my day while he disappeared to spend the night at a friend. The following day he came back looking rather sheepish and apologised.
So…now I have let him go and can concentrate on where hubby and I will be moving to. Hubby has been saying for months, ‘when we move next year…,’ and every time he said that I could feel myself twinge…haha…now I know what the twinge was about. He has held the idea without wavering. The last time he did this we moved to England from South Africa.
Aeolus tells me that my work is done here in the UK and my growth is not as great as it could be until I move on. He won’t tell me where we are going but merely says we will know when the time is right.
Anyways, today the strength of the vision hubby and I are holding is so strong I could actually smell and feel the land. I still have no idea where it will be, but the sense of excitement and anticipation is palpable.
This will be our time, just the two of us, to build our 5D world and our relationship without interruption or distraction. If our three week sojourn in France is anything to go by…it will be a very powerful time for us.
Who knows when this will be – next year is made up of 12 months and much can happen in that time.