Hmm…I suppose it is better. If I look back over the last year right back to the beginning of the year, I can see how much I have grown. I am almost…almost not the same person and I am quite sure that if my extended family in South Africa were to see me, they would hardly recognise the inner me. The last time we visited was in 2005 and much has happened since then.
But what is taking strain is my relationship. You’d think that living in 5D would be easy…it is, but it isn’t. Mainly because as we integrate more and more, we’re having to adjust how we interact with each other. As we grow inwardly and integrate our higher selves, the radical adjustments throw hubby and I apart.
If you’re in a state of bliss how can it be so difficult? We are closer than ever and yet in our bodies we don’t seem to be. I am not sure how to explain this. Each time we integrate more – which seems to be happening daily – our lovemaking changes and what was okay yesterday doesn’t seem to be so good today. This is why I think we need to be together (just the two of us) without the distraction of anyone else (as I wrote about yesterday).
Hubby seems to be taking all the integrations and changes in his stride, whereas I am not. Was I expecting too much? I think I was and yet I knew it would not be easy. If it was, we’d all be living blissful lives.
So what is the problem? The problem is I question everything. I wonder, ponder and check everything from each angle before accepting. I’ve always done this. Intellectualise, analyse and then finally BE. I don’t know if this is what I should be doing. Not one of my helpers has said to me I am being silly.
It is almost as though I have to scout the area before allowing anyone to move into a new ways of being. To a degree this makes me sad as I should be going with the flow, but the protective warrior within me raises his head. I take nothing at face value; I follow my own guidance and instincts. And this is the confusing and contradictory bit. After checking everything over, whatever resonates with me I take.
We’re both going through the different octaves of 5D integration. Our guidance is received from 9D higher selves…okay, hubby receives no guidance that I know of. He’s always reacted without thinking. I get all the information.
Maybe ignorance is bliss. This makes me wonder how many so called ‘unconscious’ humans out there are following a path without realising they are doing so. This makes the wayshowers’ job so much more important. We are setting the grid of the path for those that follow. Maybe I have just answered my question – as wayshowers we need to check and re-check what we are doing.
I suppose it is the intellectual logical side of Athena making sure that all is well before the feminine side comes into play.
This is for my darling hubby
Surely it gets better - to read any comments on LW