Sorely Tested

My strength as a Goddess and empath was sorely tested the night before last. One of my patients was a war veteran dealing with PTSD. To top it all he stops breathing in his sleep and uses alcohol and cigarettes to help him through the day. He was belligerent as he walked through the door. He’d phoned the centre a few times and left angry messages – was the universe preparing me for this?


He was angry because he thought that as it was part of the hospital he wouldn’t be able to have his nightly drinks, which made him anxious as he wouldn’t sleep and therefore we wouldn’t get the information we needed on his sleep patterns. His energy was all over the place, one minute Jekyll, the next Hyde.

I was picking up his emotions strongly and could feel the tigress in me lifting her head in irritation, flexing her claws and flicking her tail. Luckily my gentle nature is far stronger than any of my other aspects. She stood between them and the patient, simultaneously assessing his emotions, and keeping my snarling aspects in hand. Previously it has felt like herding cats, but this time I felt like the Goddess of Wisdom in her chariot holding the reins of her fiery snorting horses with calm confident strength and gentleness whilst she logically assess all around her.

Because I ‘knew’ this whole incident was as important to me as it was to him, I spent much of the early part of the night with this patient hearing his life story. Luckily the other patients were easy going and therefore I had the time, despite the mountain of admin.

When I woke him in the morning I had a ‘growling bear’ on my hands again, but that is beside the point.

What amazed me was the ability I had to feel compassion for this being. I would loved to have hugged him and hold him whilst he cried (cause that’s what he felt like inside) but protocol being protocol it would have been frowned upon. Imagine what an effect it would have had on him. To be held lovingly whilst this big grumbly bear of a man gave in to his deep inner turmoil. The only thing I could do was shine brightly for him, allowing him to use the energy if he wanted to. I could not transmute any of his anger as he was hanging on to it tightly.

When he left he was tearful and full of gratitude.

I touched a life yesterday and it made me feel good.