Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, in between the tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

I'm in Mourning

I’m in mourning. Mourning the passing of the ‘old’ me.

I started feeling tearful last night and assumed I was simply overwhelmed by the stories from women around the world who are experiencing this change. My darling anchoring shielding husband held me most of the night last night as I alternated between tears and happiness. Where he gets his patience from I don’t know. Love is...

This morning I thought I felt better – only tired. I tried to do a few things but had no energy so eventually I sat down to listen to music and Coldplay’s The Scientist came on and that is when the floodgates opened properly.

I am crying for the changes in me, saying goodbye to the ‘old’ me who has walked this path through the sludge of my negative emotions and the highs of happiness. Letting go. It’s the hardest thing anyone can ever do.

I know deep down she won’t be gone – she’ll still be there integrating with the new, but despite this knowledge intellectually, my emotions are all over the place. She and I have been through much together, it’s like saying goodbye to my best friend.

RIP my darling friend, you deserve it. You’ve been a rock through the years and I love you. May we walk as one in the sunshine with our new friend.

True love doesn’t have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.

I attach a video of Coldplay’s song The Scientist with the lyrics:

Nobody said it was easy

It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No-one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start’

I'm in mourning - to read comments on LW


Audrey said...

You're so lucky to have a Witness to your transformation ... and someone to hold you, anchor you, contain you and ... fly ... with you. Lucky, lucky woman. Audrey, Vancouver

Nutty Oddbod said...

Thank you, sweetie.
As my inner world changes, so my outer world responds - what better proof than to see those around me embrace love wholeheartedly.