Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, in between the tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Thursday, 17 January 2013

An intimate meditation of love

I have been feeling tightly wound tension in my body very acutely since Monday. I've not been tired much. In fact I have been full of energy and buzzing, which made me wonder last night, as I tried to fall asleep, what the heck was going on.

Re-calibrating, re-generating, integrating and re-membering…again. Diving even deeper with-in.

It feels like being pulled taut as though on a catapult waiting to be flung up into who knows where. The tension is filled with anticipation, excitement and fear all intermingled.

It all began with the intimate meditation on Sunday. I shall take you through a general version of this loving intimate meditation with a partner.

Take note of what comes up, whether it is shyness, 'can't do this', 'this is silly', resentment, outside irritations or noises to distract, anger, 'don't have enough time', pains or discomfort anywhere on the body or any other form of resistance. It is your body telling you that you have hit the Jackpot and it would rather you didn't go there, so will try to distract you. This is survival mode. Delving into emotions is scary - much like taking on a tiger.

It does not matter if this meditation feels too sexual. Create the intention that you will move through the sexuality to the place of unconditional love. Be patient and give yourself the time and space as it might not happen the way you want it to - whether the first, fourth or even the tenth time.  We all associate lovemaking with sex…it is simply the way it has been for a long while.  

Many of us have shut down our sacral or it has been blocked (and the connection to the higher heart) because we have so much trauma stored in this area. Think about all those who suffer with - cancer of the breast, cervix or prostate, endometriosis, menstrual problems, frigidity, pain during intercourse, unable to conceive or impotency, etc.

Like every other problem there are medical consultants who specialise in these as it has become a part of ‘normal’ life, but they never really find a solution.

For much of the world there are extremes that are needed to make sex exciting. The more these extremes are embraced, the greater the need for more extremes as each experience palls. Another element is that of having relationships with an imagined person of our dreams, which in reality doesn't exist. This has been fuelled by the media/porn industry leaving a person completely cut off from their feelings and when faced with a living breathing person, are unable to relate because real relationships are not air-brushed or emotionless.

To a degree this business about twin-flames has also created some damage as it seems to imply that once in this kind of relationship we can sit back and enjoy the bliss. We have to work at our intimate relationships continuously whether with a soul-mate or a twin-flame. And this means looking at what is with-in us that has attracted whoever is in our life.

When in a loving relationship from the heart space, none of these extremes are needed or wanted.  The excitement is in the meeting of the authentic self. And so instead of going with-out to find the excitement to fill the black hole, we go with-in to find that which we are missing, that close connection with our authentic self.

Making love with another when in the heart space, unites the two authentic selves in a way that cannot be expressed in words. Obviously as layers are peeled away the depth of the unity is a fascinating journey. Each time is never the same.

We can, if we choose, let go of the ‘old and outdated’ and move into healthy and loving relationships. We need to have a suitably healthy and loving relationship with ourself. It doesn't matter where you are...or aren't. We all have the choice to change what is in existence to something far more profound and fulfilling.

It is such an honour for us to be on this path and anchoring the amazing potential for fulfilling relationships both with ourself and with another (or many others, depending on what feels right for you). Without all of you shaking and moving your way through layers and layers, we would not be able to do the anchoring. Our thanks of gratitude as you push us into these states of blissful co-existence and interaction.

Finally...after the stumbling about and trying to find our feet for the last nine months (after the walk-in settled within hubby's body) we are back on track. It certainly hasn't been without its ups and downs, ins and outs...pun intended :-)

There are so many layers to explore when it comes to sexual love. The more often you focus on your heart and imagine love the easier it is for your body and mind to associate with this way of BEing. It can clear out deep seated issues over sexuality with a little bit of help. You know what healing modalities work for you.

If it is difficult to imagine loving someone without having full blown sex...don't worry. One day there will be an epiphany of understanding and then it will become effortless. It doesn't happen without practice and perseverance.

Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. As you do so, allow your body to relax and your mind to clear as much as possible.

Cut any energetic ties and then ask to be placed within your heart. Through the heart, your mind and body will let you know what is holding you back. Use all your senses.

Imagine setting up the room to enhance the mood, for example a darkened room with lit candles, possibly some incense or essential oils burning, music, massage oils of your choice, a place for your partner to lie as you massage them with love. It should be a relaxing, gentle and intimate space.

Do not worry if you feel resistance as I mentioned above. Acknowledge and allow this feeling, sit with it for a while, let it talk to you. When you are ready, carry on with this meditation.

Ask your partner to lay face up or down (whichever you want) making sure he/she is comfortable and warm.

And then simply imagine yourself massaging him or her with the oils you have to hand.  You don’t have to be a professional. Allow your hands to move instinctively. See how the oils on the body glisten in the candlelight making him/her glow. Allow yourself to sink into the feeling of loving each body part. As you do so, love will well up from with-in your heart and spill out into everything around you.

Don’t think about whether you are doing it wrong or that he/she might not like it. Try not to analyse or judge. If you feel your partner is a little resistant – it is your stuff coming up to which he/she is reacting. Everything you experience in your life is you talking to you, so stop and listen to what you are saying. Embrace with love who you are at this moment.

As you run your hands over his/her body, feel the compassion and love for every lump, bump or scar that has been picked up on the journey through life as though it is your own. You might want to kiss them. Do what you feel is right for you. The love will pour into him/her through your hands and lips. Let it be felt to the very depths of his/her cells. As you pour this love into him/her, you will feel your body respond as though it is receiving this beautiful energy of love.

The energy will circulate between the two of you. Imagine the beautiful mandalas of love you are creating with the energy flow. Watch them change colour and shape with your emotions. If tears flow, let them as it is all part of the healing process.

Do not worry if you cannot ‘see’ anything. Let your body feel it because the feeling is important. Again if there is resistance, sit with it and listen to your body.

Love to the best of your ability. The more you love without conditions, the easier it gets as it becomes part of you. It takes practice to break the habit of conditional love. If you feel yourself moving toward thinking 'if I do this, I deserve something in return' or something along those lines, do what was suggested before. Stop, sit with it and love it.

Loving without condition and with respect that you feel deep within you for another, will be returned to you without you having to grasp for it.

One thing you might notice if you are a woman is that your vagina will feel moist. Most women who ‘suffer’ with vaginal dryness are simply not in a space of love when making love. They have not been given the time and space to allow the love within their hearts to pour out into their body and surrounds.

I am not talking about stimulating a woman with foreplay. I am talking about finding that beautiful space within our heart where the authentic self resides. The authentic self that knows love and expresses it in the most life affirming way that is of benefit to both partners.

It isn't that foreplay is not relevant. It is when having sex, but sometimes sex in the old way with foreplay is merely a means to an end, as there is always a goal to be worked towards. This urgency of this goal is felt in the emotions and the mind thereby creating stress of having to perform and get somewhere (the future) rather than being in and enjoying the sensations of NOW.

There are a few women out there who feel that their sexuality is wrapped up with their ability to be orgasmic. I was one of them and do still to a degree feel this way. When I am in this frame of mind I have discovered that it makes me feel stressed. And with each orgasm the energy drains away, after a brief high, leaving me tired. It only happens because I am in this space, so hubby reacts to this energy. But instead of blaming him, I take responsibility by acknowledging that this was my 'plan' all along. I am the beginning, the middle and the end of my reality.

In the old paradigm this kind of beautiful orgasmic energy was necessary. It rippled out into the world so that others could feel it and get to know it. It does not mean it is not still necessary. Others will be fulfilling this role. We are getting ready to move on...it does not mean that where I am going is right for anyone else. We all have our own paths to walk and we are where we should be. No right or wrong.

So, as you experience this outpouring of love for yourself or your partner, it will become something that your body and mind will understand and integrate to eventually be the norm.

Once you feel you have done enough massage and are full to the brim with love, imagine yourself lying with your partner in complete and utter harmony, peace and bliss.

Remain in your cocoon of bliss until you are ready to bring yourself back to your body. Make sure you are fully anchored before going about your day/night or you can turn over and go to sleep. Create the intention before you do so, that this living meditation of love will become part of your reality.

May we create a world of love peace and harmony by feeling the loving bliss with-in ourselves.

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