Portal opening

Ramblings about life . . .

What I share about my life is simply to help reinforce the understanding that it is possible to live with love and laughter, in between the tough times.

Life is what we make of it, no matter how harrowing. We accept and embody this with-in ourselves, thereby allowing the energy to manifest outwardly in our reality.

It starts with each one of us as an individual to form the collective consciousness.

Be the dream.

We honour the light and the life within you.

Please be aware - I upload other bloggers' posts and then delete after a month. This is my journey and others help me understand where I am, until they become irrelevant (a few posts excepted).

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

The engagement - 14 September 2012

Excerpt from my diary - 14 Sept 2012

We were engaged at 11:11 today (14 September 2012).

It might seem like a really wonderful thing to happen, but it wasn’t without it’s stresses and strains.

We’d left the UK at 4.45pm in the afternoon on Thursday. The ferry was almost empty. We have never experienced this before. No queues inside or out.

We had an amazing meal and then sat and chatted before going to Duty Free to buy some Maltezers to keep us going through the night.

All seemed okay.

Now…since hubby has changed entity within his body…things have kinda gone a bit weird. I see the same man body-wise and yet keep forgetting that within there is someone else.

I take it all in my stride and laugh gaily at all the ‘happenings’ as though it is nothing…but you know what, I gotta take some of this seriously.

I’ve not sat down and taken note of all the differences mainly because I don’t want to pounce on hubby each time and say, ‘Ooh look, you’re doing this now.’ I put myself in his place and treat him the same as I’d want to be treated.

I figure focusing on who he is now also detracts from the amazing soul-mate I had all these lifetimes, who walked every inch of the way with me, whether as a partner, father, friend, etc. Both of them deserve the best accolades I could give.

I cannot deny the incredibleness of that soul-mate and yet I cannot say my twin is any less or more so.

I walk a fine line between ‘hip hip hooray’ and ‘oh sheet’…

I know many would be going ‘Whoot, what’s the problem? It’s your twin…I’d be in seventh heaven.

I am, I don’t deny that. But let us be practical here. Whether I have a twin-flame or soul-mate…I still gotta work at the relationship. It doesn’t simply get better because one has moved on and the other has taken his place.

‘Soul-mate’ hubby was always meticulous with his planning. He’d have plans from A-Z for every eventuality. I got used to it as the years went by…as this was simply him.

Hmm…in Australia, where the change occurred…up until we arrived at Evans Head – plans A-Z, printouts and maps. Change over occurred and it was a case of fly by the seat of our pants! I recall our daughter using her Blackberry to find out where to go as we were driving. I did not pay it too much attention as there was so much going on…until yesterday.

Again, no A-Z meticulous plans. But even so, we go where we need to be. We took several detours – hubby constantly saying he was in no rush, then getting stressed and then subsiding into shrugging and going with the flow.

His body is still in ‘old’ mode but slowly and surely changing to fall in line with the ‘new driver’…so every so often it gets a little stressed – can’t say I blame it. So, these last few months have been an interesting time for me. I see that hubby’s body is very used to certain ways of working and now suddenly has to change. It cannot be easy…and so it gets stressed.

His new soul is easy going, whereas the previous one never left anything to chance. It must be quite an experience for that dear body. I sit out on the outside and support him with love.

Nothing had been planned for the hand-fasting ceremony. I’d never asked when it would be. In fact, once we’d collected the rings I never gave them a thought. They were put in my drawer until the day I packed them for the trip.

As we boarded the ferry I realised we were saying goodbye to an old life and embarking on a new one. The date was 13/09/2012 = 1+3+9+2+1+2= 18 1+8=9. So it was a day of completion.

The crossing whilst pleasant was quite bizarre in that it went quickly and I felt slightly disoriented…as did hubby. On the road, we kept making detours. The Satnav would take us on a route we didn’t want and we’d have to change direction. Hubby had printed off a tiny instruction…but compared to the reams of papers and the huge map book he’d normally have…this was miniscule. Eventually I took over the map reading and got us on the road.

Now what I must say is this…soul-mate hubby was always in charge of the travelling. I took care of the finances, the kids, etc. but hubby was in charge of the travelling and packing. He was very good with directions. You could put him anywhere and he’d find his way without any help. Over the years I’d try and map read for him but it landed up in a big fight so mostly I left him alone unless he asked for help. I’d entertain the kids on the journey. Job done – we all had our posts and we did them. No complaints from me, as we got where we needed to be in record time without any hitches.

Haha…yeah well. Now I have to change, don’t I?

But you know what? This whole palaver was for a reason.

As we were driving hubby suddenly said, ‘How about we exchange rings on the Millau Aqueduct. It is the top of the world.’

What? I can see his reasoning but on top of a manmade bridge was not my idea of a hand-fasting…but I let him go on. I’ve learnt that there is always a reason for certain things getting mentioned and not to get worked up about it.

He said he simply felt it was a good place to be.

Right…so my analytical brain started to ruminate on this. What could possibly be the significance of this? So I started calculating dates. Today is the 14th September. So numerologically it is a 1 date i.e.1+4+9+2+1+2=19 1+9=1 – new beginnings.

Okay…so as I am logically working this out, hubby says, ‘And of course it is the 14th again.’ Huh? And then it hits home – we got married the first time on the 14th.

So then I tune in and ask – is this what is supposed to happen? I get what feels like a nod. Right, so now I am thinking about how tired we will be and I wanted to dress nicely and put ribbons in my hair, etc. This is a special occasion with my twin!!

I simply hear the words, ‘What will be, will be.’

I realise that it doesn’t have to be fancy on the outside. It is what we intend on the inside that is important. So I let go and relax into the experience.

A journey that should have taken us 12 hours, keeps going on forever and 18 hours later we are still on the road. As we get closer to the Aqueduct hubby asks if I still want to do the ring exchange there. I am so tired, I simply cannot imagine it, so I say no maybe we can go to the beach later on after sleeping and do it.

As I say this I feel a slight frisson of disagreement, but I am too tired to take much note of it. As we are driving, I keep seeing signs for St Germain and then suddenly one flashes into my sight as we reach the turn off for the Aqueduct which says St Germain and then Millau Aqueduct.

This makes me sit up. St Germain was my mentor for years, and when he incarnated Athena was his mentor. So they/we have a close bond. As I read this sign I get the feeling that I should be going ahead with the ring exchange no matter what. I feel quite tearful because I know St Germain is there.

I tell hubby that I need to go to the toilet so can we stop at the Aqueduct. When we get there it is blowing a heavy gale and is very unpleasant. I go to the toilet and hubby goes off to take pictures. By this time I am feeling an intense need to get the ceremony done. I open the bags to find the rings and hubby comes over and asks what I am doing. I said to him I was looking for the rings because we need to do the engagement thing.

He shakes his head and says, ‘No, we need to exchange all the rings.’

We argued briefly because I have changed my mind again and now only want the engagement ring thing done. He looks at me for a while then nods his head.

We get into the car out of the wind and I hear St Germain say to me, ‘You merely need to do this now. It does not matter how brief. It will set things in motion.’ Or something along those lines.

Hubby holds the engagement ring and asks me if I will marry him. This brings back memories of when I asked him to marry me. It was a leap year, so I decided on the spur of the moment and for fun to ask him and he said yes.

It was quite emotional for me and him to have this role reversed.

He’d switched the car on to warm us up as it was quite nippy and as he tried to put the ring on my finger it got stuck. I took it from him and as I was gently moving the ring over my knuckle I happened to look at the car’s clock…it said 11:11.

In that instant I knew we’d started an avalanche of change somehow.

The date has 1s, 4s, 9s, and 2s - beginnings, endings, creations and duality.

What was so significant to me is that I am a master soul that vibrates at 11 in many places on my chart. I also have 4s and 9s.

Hubby’s new birth date is 11 and his new name that was given to him is also an 11 vibration.

So it is the merging or coming together of two master souls on the 11 vibration…both of us packing this massive energy.

The engagement is the beginning of a 9 day journey which will culminate on the 22nd September…the day after the equinox. I’d assume the ceremony might be on the equinox…but it seems not.

2+2+9+2+1+2=18 1+8=9 – completion.

There is so much more going on but we are both too tired to find out what. I dare say it will eventually let itself be known but for the moment…it is deep within us waiting to be expressed. So all the detours and diversions was making sure that we arrived at the right time.

Saturday 15 September 2012

Had a very strange dream last night about a man giving birth. Somehow we were going through the numerology numbers 1-9, but only reached 8.

Constantly throughout the dream I kept hearing ‘55 change’. Don’t remember much else.

We spent the morning at the beach. We were both still very ungrounded and tired. Whilst at the beach I tuned into the energy cycling between us. It was changing and the way it was working was a little confusing.

I eventually figured out that it was morphing into an infinity symbol. They kept pointing at my ring which I noticed was designed with ‘flow’ in mind. It looked like two figures of 8 – infinity symbol next to each other. One is partially above and the other partially below and they are connected with the diamond in the middle, which is sort of like a mixing tank for the two energies.

Our connection used to be through the heart chakra with all the other chakras now part of the heart chakra…and this still holds true. But…the energy was now looping through the chakras in a symbol of 8 with the heart as the mixing tank.

I tried drawing it in the sand and I concentrated on what they were showing me. But it seems like it is all early days and as the energy moves and changes constantly, I cannot keep up. I think it might be to do with the 9 days of ‘engagement’ before it all comes together in a ‘big’ picture on the day of the hand-fasting.

So in the meanwhile I remain patient.

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