When I upload any of these things that I have done - such as the codes downloads, the readings, etc. it is not because I am blowing my trumpet...I merely want everyone to understand that there is a deeper meaning to everything in our life. We are not simply plodding along and existing. These readings give us valuable insights into who we are and we can use them to help us move forward in our quest for mastership. Of course the trick is not to become too slavish about it.
This is a transcript of a reading I had with Rod Suskin on 30 April 1998 – 9 days before we emigrated to the UK. I had to make this appointment 6 months before hand (long waiting list) and at that stage never knew I’d be leaving South Africa. We’d only decided to move in January 1998, which was a sudden spur of the moment decision.
I came across this recording as I was clearing out my drawer. I wondered why it had popped up and listened to it last night. It is amazing how things tie in with the numerology reading that Amy did. And I so needed to hear about the ‘Who am I to know…’ because as I start this new phase in my life I keep doubting that I have anything to offer.
And how amazing…it all ties in so beautifully with Amy’s numerological reading...and shows me how much I have grown since that time 14 years ago.
30 April 1998
It just so happens that even though it is 15-20 minutes differences of when you were born, it is critical.
The only way I can finalise birth time is through some questions.
Are you talkative or non-talkative?
Non-talkative
If others are around – if you perceive someone else seems to know more than you, will you go quiet?
Yes
Well then, that makes it 10 to or 5 to 1 you were born – according to these answers.
Astrology’s point of view is not that life is pre-destined or fixed. You are a system of potentials that will play themselves out in different ways in your life. Astrological potentials are not written – you have a certain extent of control. They are like a mirror – these are merely the potentials. Just like if you want to change something physically you need a mirror to do so, the astrology chart is your mirror to make the changes you want. The chart doesn’t change – it simply looks back at you and asks how would you change?
I will focus mostly around the area that demands most attention, the most focus in your life - especially this next period in your life.
First thing I am looking at – what is your most basic way of being. How in the final analysis you will see things and respond to it.
In your case – you are an extremely typical Aquarian. Aquarius is a mode that you see the world through. Your chart fits perfectly into the theory that a friend of mine has and I can see what he means just by looking at your chart – which shows how typical your chart is. He maintains that by simply looking at your chart he would know that you are an Aquarian – in your case it would work – but only because you are so typically Aquarian.
What does it mean to be an Aquarian? The mode of being that it represents. It is people who take a primarily mind oriented approach to the world. To them it is more important than the emotional. Not intellectual in the conventional sense because Aquarius is not conventional. So it is usually with bigger ideas and bigger way of seeing things that make Aquarians see things in a particular kind of way.
The particularness of Aquarians is also the basic way of how you see things. So you will see things in a certain way that is fairly unique and then you use that almost as a valuer against the world – the world almost feels like this big battle.
As a general rule you will be strongly resistant to change because it interferes with this principle. This is a principle of control which you would never think of it as being. But I can easily look at this chart and say that this is someone who needs to be in control, but that is not how you would view it. You will see it as ‘that is how I see things and that is how things go accordingly’.
One of the mkost basic lessons in your chart is to stop reacting to change so instinctively because anything that comes along that tries to change you. Change is usually associated with trauma. So whenever trauma comes along it is natural for everyone to react to it, but yours is a particularly instinctual reaction. This doesn’t make the change go away, so it causes you to kick and scream all the harder as the change happens.
It also means that your talent involves things with the mind because it is strong. On the one hand it can dominate but also it can be to your advantage. What needs to be brought into greater balance is your more practical hands on side because that is in your chart. It is very important part in your that that if it is not developed it will cause problems and tends to cause instability.
So your chart says in the beginning that you have to ground yourself as much as possible. If you look at practicality in your own life that is how to assess how grounded you are by looking at how practical am I.
When you are practical, you are incredibly practical, when you are not practical you are incredibly unpractical. No-one would believe that this came from the same person. So once again the balance is requested.
There are two ways it comes into balance.
One way is life it brings it back into balance.
The second way is that you do things that earth yourself, i.e. hands on things. Something that has a practical value. I can sum up your chart in 5 seconds – this is the chart of someone whose overriding need in life in every sense of the word is to learn as much as humanly possible, even more than humanly possible, about as much as possible. And that is why early difficulty in studying. You have the classic astrological case of someone whose karma is to learn, who came here to learn.
You would have blocked or interrupted studies, because it shows lessons will happen around studies. So that is the overriding urge for your whole chart. The way to ground that is to do something practical – put what you study to use.
You have got to earth it by putting that study back into the world and one way of doing this is to teach. You would make a fantastic teacher.
The third thing that brings the grounding into balance is another person. If you are in a relationship with someone or more than one person who is very earthy. Ideally that would be your husband. He can bring you back into balance.
You will go through phases of attracting very solid earthy people or literally attracting people like Taurus in particular, and Virgo. You would probably have an affinity for Taureans. It might seem like difficult relationships that you have with them.
What sign is your husband?
Piscean
That is interesting. Pisceans have similar lessons. By reflecting off each other rather than opposites. For example Aquarian and Taureans will be opposites, whereas you two are reflecting.
Because Taurus is your rising sign, that is the sign through which you approach the world how you see the world. It is your personality through which you mediate the world. Classic sign is when you are confronted by something that seems to be better than you, who seems to be more qualified in one way or another, the Taurus rising person will zip their mouth shut. It is a record that constantly plays in your head – who am I…
You can then see whatever your justification is in the situation is irrelevant. You probably have no good reason to say ‘who am I to…’ - the good reason that you have is merely your Taurus rising. It has nothing to do with how valuable your opinion is or what you know, it is this Taurus rising…so I had better just spit it out. Especially with regard to information or ideas working in a group situation or anything like that your chart demands that you do that. Demands that you give out your information.
When I said you had the chart of a teacher I didn’t mean that lightly. I know you are going to be a teacher. It might be in 20 or 30 years time – there is no doubt that you are going to be a teacher. Part of the reason is that you have a way of putting things in a way that is directly meaningful to the people that you are putting it to. You do it instinctively, depending on who the people around you are. You make those adjustments.
But the thing that is the Taurus rising could mean one of two things – insecurity or poor self esteem. Poor self esteem is worse than insecurity. Asking the question and if the answer is either insecurity rather than poor self esteem, this is when you catch yourself and say aha – I know that is Taurus rising – there is nothing wrong with me. There isn’t anything wrong with you – there is a point to Taurus rising.
As your way of approaching the world – how you master the world and through Taurus it means establishing securities for yourself. So you have to remember, whether you like it or not, the basic need in your chart is to establish securities. Depending on your attitude to it, it can be about money…and this depends how comfortable you are with money.
If you are afraid of material things or averse them…or anything along those lines…you create money issues for yourself because your chart says you are someone who needs security. So rather go out there and get it and make everything else in your life work than having a philosophical debate about the meaning of money.
Because you have to ask yourself – what am I doing in a material world? Apart from our own personal mission that we have, it is to master the material world. If we were supposed to master some other world, we would have gone to another world.
For example you have been studying herbal medicine. At some point you are going to be practising it.
Working in a healing situation you would be uncomfortable charging for it and that would create the problem.
As long as you are demonstrating to the material world – I always like to remind myself and anyone like yourself in this situation where you charge for a healing function, is how the universe works. The universe requires that we work all the time which they turned into biblical things. Clearly we are supposed to generate energy all the time. The universe says work - you get rewarded. This is merely the way it has been structured.
Energy has to work in both directions. The test is can we master it without getting caught in the material world. Hence the bible says ‘the love of money is the root of all evil’ – it doesn’t say money is evil. So the challenge is to master it because it is a thing, but not to say anything about it or not to have any track with it, because then it has mastered you by creating fears, issues, barriers, etc.
So when you feel insecurity, instead of thinking ‘who am I to know better’ – you can think ‘Aha, I am a Taurus rising. Insecurity is therefore my drive toward security. Excellent, my drive are operating so where do I feel uncomfortable in my material world?’
Something is getting to you and it is niggling your sense of security and everything else gets affected by it as the rising sun is your mediation with the world – everything gets coloured by it as everything moves through it. It is a simple route to stop you from getting into a self esteem issue.
The other thing we tend to do is that we put lessons behind us all the time. The ego part of us that likes to think ‘okay I have now learnt that, I am now okay’. Nothing in nature works in straight lines. Everything is cycles which go round and round. We always get confronted by the same issues. Our job is not to put them behind us but to master it, so it becomes like water off a duck’s back. To get better and better at it.
So the money issue will find ways to surface in your life, but your job is to master it. You will say I know how to handle that stuff. It frees you and your self esteem so that you can perform in your teaching. Teaching you are here to do six times over.
Your birth time is a very interesting astrology because around about 5th February 1962 there was an extremely unusual configuration of planets. So unusual for its time that it led a lot of astrologers to predict that the second coming of Jesus would be born on that day.
Subsequent to that we are going through a spate every decade where there are a couple of these. We are now getting used to it and know that it does not create messiahs.
It is certainly an extraordinary focus and being born so close, a lot of that focus still sits in your chart. You have still got…well there were 7 planets and being born 3 days later, 6 of them are still there. They have shifted and not to focused but they are very much there. For you it is all around Aquarius which is why you are such a basic Aquarian Aquarian and secondly it is around teaching in every way possible.
It is going to produce a lot of the issues that astrology identifies with that. The basic of which is trying to cover too much ground in a short amount of time. It is going to be a constant struggle for you to go slowly or to take things one at a time. Well, one at a time is not for you, so let us say two at a time.
I don’t know if you know any Sagittarians. They take on so many things that they scatter their energy all the time. You always see Sagittarians start something…and they are born with a similar influence that you have coming through your chart…and that is this tendency to start more things than you finish. Your primary goal it to learn everything, to learn everything about everything by tomorrow morning.
So firstly to understand the basic Aquarian principle that you have. What Aquarius is? Firstly it is not just all that unconventionality, it misleads people enormously about Aquarius. They are very often are visibly unconventional but that is not what they are about. You always get this impression that hippies and weirdos are Aquarian. Vaguely they do, but the issue is that it is an unusual way that Aquarians have of interpreting their world, of seeing their world, that is the unconventionality of Aquarius.
How ever interested they may be in all things, this is the way that they see the world. It belongs to a family of signs called the fixed signs and Taurus is another member of this family and we all know how stubborn Taurus is. Aquarius is just as stubborn. Taurus is ‘because I said so’ – like a child, whereas Aquarius is ‘that is how I see the world and if other people don’t see it then that is their problem’.
So Aquarians are off on their own ‘plak’ and from outside it looks like you are distant and so all Aquarians at some time or another get accused of being cold, aloof or remote. That is the other person’s emotional interpretation of the Aquarian’s intellectual distance. It can distance you from your own emotional stuff or events in your life. But it is not about coldness, aloofness – it is about a place Aquarians reach. So you must remember to bring yourself down to earth in that sense.
Part of the real issue about stubbornness in your case, is the hanging on to of ideas, because it is often that once you’ve got an opinion you will hold on to that as if it is some kind of gospel as it makes you feel secure. Because you don’t often use the material world as your source of security, you use ideas as a source of security.
Learning is the act of continuously changing ideas, letting go of old ones and so expanding yourself. Stubbornness or insecurity causes you to keep old idea, therefore inhibiting the learning process and you need to learn as your chart says over and over and over again.
So that is why you need to let go of fixed ideas. You have to learn as an exercise to yourself to say ‘that is what I think right now,’ and adjust so that you know it is only NOW.
Aquarians are comfortable with the idea that things will be different in a future time, so use that. Aquarians are all idealists – one of the most basic thing about Aquarians is their idealism. This is why you would want to teach. Because deep inside you, you know of this better world where you know everyone is going to be okay.
It is not an ego trip, it is simply a vision of the world that you have. Which is great and you are probably able to realise that it is not 100% realistic – it is simply an ideal. But the challenge for all Aquarians is to find a context to actually express your ideas and that is why it is important that you pursue teaching and find ways for expressing.
We have to focus on ourselves as the goal because that is what will affect the world. So as an Aquarian you need to find practical outlets for your need to create a better world, community or planet. What you have to do to make that work is learn to live more in the present because there is a very strong pull toward the future in your chart. Live in the present/NOW.
Importantly, the only way you will get somewhere is do and live in the now. You have this thing about needing to BE someone. I need to be the head of medicine – it is not ego trip, for an Aquarian it is never an ego trip, as she always thinks of other people more than herself. So the intention is indisputable – the practicality is what you have to worry about.
So fine, you may very well one day be the head of medicine so you have created this space in the world for real healing to happen. That is all well and good but now you need to think about how you get there. If you constantly focus on being the head – it is will simply feel like you can never get there. ‘How could little old me be sitting in the chair of the university?’ – that is because you are comparing. So rather concentrate on DOing and the more you do you can become that which you aspire to.
Being born at that time early February 1962, it is obviously a special bunch of people. People who have such an unusual focus in their charts, which the ancient astrologers call ‘genius’. An ability to focus in a particular direction and achieve or make a difference. There is that there as some kind of a potential in your chart. You can assume you will go in that direction, you merely have to get on with the DOing of it.
Also be aware of the ‘grass is always greener’ as this is a major distractor in your chart. Also looking too much at the future. So whenever you feel it, you have to say to yourself ‘right what is in my existing environment which I have overlooked’.
We discuss my career as a legal secretary.
Because of the teaching in your chart, you could also make an excellent lawyer. But what is frustrating to you about the law is that there is no sense of justice. The attraction to law is your idealistic view of the world.
I mention that I started studying law but gave up.
Ja, I am sure that it frustrated the hell out of you as it doesn’t do what it is supposed to do.
So, in all of this, your imagination needs to be used. This is largely to do with healing in that it must relate to your profession.
Are you going to teach herbal medicine?
No, I teach meditation.
Does that mean you meditate?
Yes.
Okay so that is the real issue, the bottom line. The best thing you can do for imagination is to meditate. It is not a toy. It is the organ through which we access the inner world and vision. It is a very powerful tool.
As long as you do this you are using your imagination very successfully in your chart. You have to make sure you have outlets – practice of meditation is one of them.
You have a strong capacity for healing people at an emotional level. Emotional things are at the root of all illness. You talent is for sensing how people feel and working on an emotional level. Psychology in a different way.
You also have a fantastic ability for the so called occult arts as well. Occult means hidden – so you have this ability to penetrate the hidden, like a diagnostic ability to find the emotional cause behind an illness. It uses a quality that is very clear in your chart, and that is to think logically and non-logically and you can move easily between the two and not get confused. When you reach a dead end with logic you merely use the non-logical, so you can mix these different ways of doing things.
This ability is called occult thinking – you can see behind things.
There is an overall pattern to your chart – about healing people at the emotional level and that has a lot to do with the physical. That is the direction you can keep in.
That same kind of mind body connection can be used by you. When you ignore your inner world – you get sick.
Part of the teaching thing in your chart is the ability to state the truth, especially with your Taurus rising – this can be a challenge for you that stops you from saying what you feel you need to. Ideally also you will write a book at some stage as it is a way of getting ideas out.
There is an ability to study, research and investigate. That can be dangerous – not because of the stress, worry warns you about obsessing.
One of the aspects of Aquarius that demands expression is the need to be different. Having different ways of seeing and doing things. It looks like it caused conflict in your family as you have had to assert that you are different in some kind of way.
There is the need to individuate. Part of that which it will challenge the security issue, because going your own way also challenges the security you need- such as making changes which undermines our security.
For example if you are constantly changing jobs – this undermines your security.
You have just entered a six/seven year phase last year of change. The hidden talent in your chart is music. You studied piano as a child, but you will be astonished how quickly your fingers remember. Your fingers remember – not your brain. It is like riding a bicycle – you never forget. But it doesn’t mean playing – it could also mean listening to music. Music is very important to you.
Romance is another thing. Often we have idealised romantic images – that in your romantic life projected into your relationships.
Your chart shows that you do learn a bit as you go along, about relationships. Most people beat their heads relentlessly when it comes to relationships, but you don’t…you learn. Not easily as there is all the resistance that we spoke about in the beginning…but you do learn even if it is the hard way.
The things in your chart are that you over-romanticise – create idealised image of the relationship or the principle of love. The issue is that you can hurt yourself as that person goes around being their every day self…but with that part of it you do learn. But just be careful of the need for perfection, high standards and sometimes it can also create the need for control – the potential that we spoke about earlier.
It is interesting that more than most people you have a nice built in sabotage mechanism. Some people can get away with trying to control for years and of course it creates problems in their lives. You shoot yourself in the foot when you try and control. So there is a safety mechanism but it is an uncomfortable one. So if you don’t control you won’t shoot yourself in the foot.
There is an impulsive streak in your emotional chart that gets you to do or say things that will undermine the very thing you are trying to control. You will think ‘where the hell did that come from’.
You assume that the other person’s needs are the same as your own. So if you fight and you decide that you want to fix it, you would do for him what you would want him to do for you. For example buy a box of chocolates and he says I don’t like chocolate. You were buying the chocolates for you, not him. And you will be thinking, ‘here I am trying to fix things and you are not appreciating it’. Ask him what he wants.
Your moon sign is Aries and there is a streak that competes against your need for control. It is easy for you to like others and for others to like you. It makes the context for change easier.
In your chart you need a relationship that allows you the freedom to do your thing, have your friends, have your life and the relationship – have it all. Ideally you need the freedom to be out as long as you want and your husband would not be pacing and phoning the police, etc. So you have to be you and part of the relationship, which is what you have with your husband. The important thing is that he has the identical right, and as long as you both give this to each other it will work fantastically…that is the rule.
You need to have three person relationships – you, him and the relationship…not where you dissolve into one which a lot of people seem to have.
That within the context of the relationship you must not impose your expectations upon the relationship and expect it to do that which you want. The relationship is the third entity and it will go where it needs to go without you controlling it. It has its own needs and expectations.
A simple rule in your chart is that you have to have fun together in your relationship. And feed energy into your relationship.
Both lessons in your chart – as karmic lessons – there is a lot of consistency in what your chart is trying to say – the two basic things-
Lesson one – live in the present – you are a teacher – you are going to have to find out how to teach. You learn and teach and also need to understand that you must not preach. Don’t convince and convert – teach by example – learn to become the teacher and that is how you will teach.
Lifelong lesson is the security issue – which you should get on top of in your 40s. All you want is a place of peace and harmony. You must create the peace and harmony within. Like a tortoise – you must learn to carry your security with you.
The ability to rely on yourself, to reach the stage where you know no matter where you are and what you are doing you have the ability to generate the money needed for your security, whether it is food, a roof over your head, etc.
