|Small harbour on the Etang de Thau|
Excerpt from my diary - 17 Sept 2012
Saturday morning when we tried to meditate, some music started playing. It was coming from the community centre in the valley below. Normally it doesn’t bother me, but this time it felt uncomfortable.
We decided to go to the beach.
Sunday was paintballing day in the valley below. Last year it did not bother us but this time it did. We went out to the chateau and whilst we were there I developed a slight headache. I felt like there was something I should be ‘seeing’ but I didn’t want to, so I blocked it...and yeah I knew why we were there...but again...didn't want to know.
It seemed incredibly noisy this year and everything seemed to irritate me. The slight headache was still there. I tuned in to find out that we were transmuting. I put some music on to see if I could lighten the atmosphere as everything seemed so heavy, but when I did I heard the words of a song ‘where do you run to little girl?’ and was catapulted into a vision of a ring of paedophiles who played mind games with the children they had in their ‘care’...shudder.
Whoever needed or wanted a child would play the caring father figure. The others would scare the living daylights out of the child and this ‘caring father figure’ would talk to him/her gently and give off the air of loving support and if anything went wrong, he’d be the one the child would turn to. It took a lot of patience and constant bombardment of the child until the child was completely and utterly under the ‘caring father figure’s’ spell.
Then the sexual things would start. Slowly at first but building up to what the ‘caring father figure’ wanted…and the child was trapped.
This all came to me in a flash of a few minutes and then I blocked it out because I did not want anything to spoil our holiday. Little did I know that on another level I/we were transmuting and already involved. This discomfort stayed with me and finally last night I accepted that I had no choice in the matter… and recognised that it tied in with a feeling I had as we were driving toward Castries after the engagement ceremony. So everything was amplified to get my attention...which I was trying my best to ignore. Dammit...I was on holiday.
I realised that from the minute the engagement ceremony was done, we’d committed ourselves to working for the collective, and this was one of the avenues we’d be doing so. The sexual matrix is one that needs to be cleared and changed into true unconditional love, not perceived love. Distorted perceptions of what love is ranges from paedophilia to control by couples of each other.
I had already started working on this towards the end of last year, but now that hubby and I are committed and going through 9 days of completion, we have started doing this on a large scale together.
I agreed to help transmute this energy last night and connected to all paedophiles and their victims to clear out the negative energy and replace it with unconditional love. I kept hearing the words ‘la cosa nostra’. I’d heard them before (thought it was something to do with vampires – probably because of the energy vampirism that goes on) but for the life of me could not figure out what it was…and truthfully did not have much interest in finding out.
This morning I asked hubby and he said it was what they called the Sicilian Mafia. Now whether all of this was to do with some arm of the mafia – as they are into loads of things and one of them is probably slave trafficking – I have no idea.
I agreed to transmute all night and that at 8am this morning we would disconnect. That was all I was prepared to do as this was my relaxing holiday, not a working one. At 8.05 this morning I woke and could feel the beautiful warm nourishing energy I feel after a long transmuting and healing session.
We spent the day sightseeing, travelling from town to town on the lagoon Etang de Thau. It was lovely spending time together, not worrying about anything. Not that I have been worrying but of course we have been transmuting since we arrived, so this time without interference was great. We were building our relationship.
We had an afternoon sleep as we were both exhausted when we arrived back. On awaking I realised that today was the day for the making of the first essence. I kept hearing ‘building relationships’ and ‘getting to know yourself’.
I got all my stuff out to prepare for the essence making. All the Elementals were eager to get going. The re-affirmation maju stone was waiting. Whilst I tuned in and asked for help and protection, I felt the need to take off my engagement ring and place it with the maju stone.
I spent ages sitting outside watching the essence being potentised…and getting information.
When I checked the date 17/9/2012 I realised that it came out as double 2 – master number or 4 – builder/creator in form.
Last night we played cards. I was on a roll again – same as previous night. I am not very competitive…ambitious but not competitive. Hubby is very competitive…or rather he has always been. Whenever we have played any kind of card or board game he always wins. Our daughter has the same competitive and winning streak in her. They are good rivals these days.
Our son and I shrug. So what if we win or lose…it is the fun in the game that we enjoy, not the end result.
But last night once again, I noticed the change in hubby. I kept holding back because I always seemed to get the right cards at the right time and would wait for a few hands before I laid everything out. He was okay with it and good naturedly ribbed me. He was a sore loser in the past, although he would pretend he was okay with it. But of course I can read energy and I’d know he was lying. But last night he really was happy to lose.
We did our meditation last night and once again we were ‘flying’ over the edge into orgasm – that is now three in as many days. We are not ‘supposed’ to do this, but it appears that there is nothing we can do to prevent it, as the energy needs to flow.
I was given an explanation. The energy that we are transmuting is very heavy – almost like concrete. The orgasms of love and pleasure that we have as combined master 11’s (now that we are committed) sends shock waves of transmutation…almost like an explosion, so I must stop worrying – well it is not worrying, but merely concern. Yeah :-)…my over analytical brain.
Whilst we were playing cards, I noticed someone standing by the front door. He was slightly fuzzy so I could not really focus on him He mentioned he was here to reminded me of an insight I’d had but forgotten to write down.
When we clear anything from our life, we are our future self that goes back to our past self to help them clear negative energy, which has a knock on effect on past present and future. When you have a good feeling from, for e.g. a good meal or good company, etc, it echoes down through all our lives.
Hehe…whilst he was reminding me of this, hubby was having a sneezing session. This always seems to happen when they need him distracted so they can talk to me.
Sigh…it will be nice when they can speak to both of us.
P.S. when they said I'd transmute in the Med...I thought it was the beautiful expanse of sea they were talking about...not the heaviness I experienced!