I'm in Mourning

I’m in mourning. Mourning the passing of the ‘old’ me.

I started feeling tearful last night and assumed I was simply overwhelmed by the stories from women around the world who are experiencing this change. My darling anchoring shielding husband held me most of the night last night as I alternated between tears and happiness. Where he gets his patience from I don’t know. Love is...


This morning I thought I felt better – only tired. I tried to do a few things but had no energy so eventually I sat down to listen to music and Coldplay’s The Scientist came on and that is when the floodgates opened properly.

I am crying for the changes in me, saying goodbye to the ‘old’ me who has walked this path through the sludge of my negative emotions and the highs of happiness. Letting go. It’s the hardest thing anyone can ever do.

I know deep down she won’t be gone – she’ll still be there integrating with the new, but despite this knowledge intellectually, my emotions are all over the place. She and I have been through much together, it’s like saying goodbye to my best friend.

RIP my darling friend, you deserve it. You’ve been a rock through the years and I love you. May we walk as one in the sunshine with our new friend.

‘True love doesn’t have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.’

I attach a video of Coldplay’s song The Scientist with the lyrics:

‘Nobody said it was easy


It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No-one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start’

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