A glimpse of the future NOW

The time out ‘friendship’ and only ‘doing/being’ meditations of quiet love that hubby and I have experienced these long months has finally paid off. Mostly we have been so busy and extraordinarily tired to do much of anything other than meditate for short amounts of time together...but it has all been for a good reason. It has been re-setting, re-calibrating and helping us to re-member.

As we have been adjusting and going through changes within that have reflected in our outer world, it has seemed chaotic and there did not appear to be any specific pattern. Now with hindsight I can see that there is a pattern.

It felt so right to move into lovemaking last night and the depth of the stillness and beauty of intimacy and love was our reward.

The past few months have been somewhat hectic and will continue to be so until 22 December. My last night of work is 21 December and then I am on holiday for two weeks of R&R.

Hubby joked yesterday that we need to make appointments to see each other…which we did last night and all I can say is…WOW.

I do not have words to convey the experience...and so I won't...but maybe you can 'feel' it as you read these words.

I have realised that as we were holding (during our sexual meditations) the safe space for the Divine Feminine within both of us to tentatively make herself known…we were also holding the same safe space for the Divine Masculine. As one or the other Divine aspect makes him/herself known, the other can NOT be anything other than a Divine reflection. And yet, the dross had to be cleared for this to happen.

We have a ways to go yet, of that I have no doubt…but I heave a sigh of relief to see the results. We are both on such a buzz of excitement this morning…a joie de vivre that seems to have gone walkabout lately, although it is underneath when I stop to allow myself to feel it. The feminine is making her desire and passion known and together with the masculine, it is far more beautiful than I'd ever have imagined. There is a distinct feeling that there is less competition between them...don't think for one moment it is completely gone...yet.

This weekend is a time of sharing and loving and a gentle reminder of the beautiful way of life that we are aiming for, before we, once again, plunge into the chaos Monday through to Saturday.

I am in the process of studying (most at the Sleep unit are) and we all have different dates and times to do so…but mine ends on the night of the 20^th.

I found myself all fired up this week to approach our manager to find out whether I could study for a two year degree funded by the hospital. She said that she had been thinking along the same lines and is going to approach her manager next week when she is back from holiday. So many things lately have been incredibly synchronised, it makes my mind boggle mostly because it is happening in the ‘normal’ world.

And no…I don’t think it is in the plan for me to do this studying, although I don’t really know and it has puzzled me somewhat. Today, after the amazing night last night, I find that it maybe was up to me to get the ball rolling so that those who don’t ask the questions can get the benefit…even if I do leave. The question had to be asked so that action can be taken. It is pointless constantly thinking or moaning and doing nothing about it.

I have no idea why I am doing the current training…I simply had the feeling that I do need to do it.

My soul is in charge and I know that despite my confusion, constant circling and re-visiting…there is something going on in the background to which I am not always privy. My physical body and mind does what needs to be done while my soul and heart hold the space. So while it may look like I am going in one direction…I am not.

Haha…are you confused yet?

I think what it boils down to is that I/we must have faith that all is perfect and it unfolds as it needs to. Our main focus is to be where we need to be when we need to be…in the NOW of any given moment and the rest will sort itself out. As we collectively change our frequency, this is helping hubby, I...and others to move forward creating with each step the new world we will inhabit...for which I am deeply grateful, because without YOU, none of this would be possible. Together we are incredible magicians.

I suppose I should explain what I mean by ‘sexual meditations’ – this is my explanation - what we have/are experiencing may by no means be the same for everyone.

Our bodies need intimacy. There are not many of us that can live in isolation and be truly happy.  We are social beings. When we are behind the veil there is no separation as we ‘know’ that we are all part of the same.

And yet we cannot see or feel this when we are here and therefore we yearn for the intimacy of relationships as couples. But not only as couples - how many of us would love to be able to hug others…even if they are strangers. I often find myself wanting to hug a patient…but have to hold myself back because of the ‘no physical contact policy’ unless we are treating them and, of course, a hug is not treatment in our 3D world.

So sexual meditation for a couple would involve a lot of karezza.

Cuddling is the first and most important.

Another aspect is suckling at the breast. It is a way of forming intimacy and is not necessarily meant to lead to full blown sex. The breast and nipple are connected to both of the hearts (higher and lower). Through suckling our partner we are either taking in the love they feel for us and returning it back to them in a cycle of energy. When I feel love for hubby, I get a let-down feeling similar to that which I had when breastfeeding my children, as the love floods into my breasts from my hearts.

There is also simply holding genitals or breasts (or anywhere else) with love and having no intentions other than to love.

Caressing the body or massage is another.

These are all done with love and not with the intention of moving into sex…although you can have penetration…where the woman will hold the man lovingly and gently within her with little or no movement - this is merely another form of intimacy without agenda.

There are so many different versions and ways and this list is by means exhaustive.

These are not what we would call foreplay in normal sex. They are creating a deepening bond between the two lovers. It can be done without needing to move on to having pounding sweaty sex so that both of you orgasm or the male ejaculates. The intention is to BE and not DO.

These forms of intimacy create what is called a low level orgasm where no draining climax is involved…it is a blissful state that stays with you all day…it is the joie de vivre. It is all about the simple state of BEing in each other's company and thoroughly enjoying it.

Even when life is chaotic and hectic, this underlying space of love and bliss, is always present. I think for me it helps me to ‘know’ that despite what is going on in my outer world, there is a peaceful place I can retreat to at times throughout the day, which rejuvenates and re-energises me.

I don’t always get it right and I can be overwhelmed by the chaos…but it is all my own chaos as hubby and I together clear the deeper underlying issues. And wow, are we going deeper and deeper.

It is well worth it, because when we decide make love it is so gentle, sweet, loving and deeply fulfilling…and not something I’d ever have believed possible, even last year, after years of ‘hot tantra’, walking the edge of control before orgasm.

I suppose it has been months and months of re-training and creating new neurological pathways within the brain so that the addictive states become a thing of the past and in its place is something far more fulfilling, blissful and peaceful.

And yes, we both had an AHA moment last night for which I am truly grateful.

As an aside - if someone is addicted to porn or ‘toys’ it might take a while longer to wean themselves and recreate a new way of loving. Both tend to take away the authentic love aspect and replace it with the need for ‘more’ extreme ways of getting off. When faced with a real person, there is not the same buzz as the person more than likely does not live up to the expectations. Intimacy might feel threatening because emotions are involved, which can make it messy and therefore easier to run away and spend time with the cyber ‘love’ or toy which is always consistent and does not have any emotions...or fantasy...or ideals of what romantic love 'should' feel like, which in reality is not true until a committment is made to actually face who we really are...which in itself can be scary. Vibrators, for example, de-sensitise a person to the 'real' thing.

I am not saying that any of this is wrong…it has been part of our 3D world that we have needed to experience. But the time is approaching when we need to let go of all of that that stops us interacting and feeling with others.

In other words…the walls need to come down…and that in itself is scary and takes a great deal of courage to not only face ourselves but others who are reflecting us.

On reading what I have written it seems rather contradictory and confusing. Basically, the lovemaking is different from the rituals that I explained above. It is more aware, conscious and expanded due to the practice of the rituals which helps the body to understand what we are aiming for. We will each experience in ways that are perfect for us.

Hm.…I seem to have written a book, so I am going to end it right here and go and spend time with my amazing, courageous and beautiful husband.

Love you, babe.